Alone
by Cyhyr
Summary: How is it that a complete strager can show him more care without even knowing him when his own family treats him like crap? Roxas didn't know, but he was grateful that Axel moved to town when he did. AkuRoku. Complete.
1. I Knew I Loved You

I Knew I Loved You

_He could be anywhere, but as long as they were together, he was… home._

_A new city…_

_A secluded island…_

_A dark forest…_

_Nothing mattered to him… as long as he had his light, that beautiful blonde, beside him…_

_He was always home._

* * *

The alarm chirped happily, waking its owner up for the brand-new day that might be missed if he didn't get up. It kept its sound going, even through the moans and groans of the teen in the bed next to it. But, one can only take the insane beeping of a digital alarm clock for so long.

The poor clock didn't have a chance.

It was suddenly silenced as it was grabbed and pulled away from its spot on the nightstand, and then thrown across the room. Where it promptly broke into many pieces of useless plastic.

The life of yet another alarm clock had come to a tragic end in the midst of Axel Feuer.

The teen leaned up on his elbows, his lower stomach still on the bed. He stared at the broken clock, then flopped back down and throwing another pillow over his head and waiting for the invasion of his room.

Three…

Two…

One…

"AXEL!!!" A redhead threw open the door and jumped onto the bed where Axel _was_ sleeping peacefully, not even ten minutes ago. This redhead grabbed Axel's hands and put them behind his head, all while sitting on the teen's lower back. "Axel Feuer, you are under arrest," the older, more awake boy said.

A muffled reply came from the pillows. If one listened closely, they could something like "under what charges," coming from Axel.

However, it came out as: "Un'ner 'ut 'arges?"

"Murder. You _killed_ the alarm clock, and this isn't a first offence. I'm afraid, Axel, that you're going away for a long time."

Axel lifted his head off of the pillow. "Fuck you, Reno." He then grunted, and pushed the other boy off his bed. Reno landed on the floor, hard, then whined a bit before standing up and brushing himself off.

Teenage boys' rooms are disgusting- he was there once.

"Yeah, whatever, little brother," Reno said. "C'mon, Ax, it's your first day of school, and Mom told me to make sure you got there on time today." Reno left the room, calling to Axel to hurry up- he'd have to be at school in an hour.

Axel sat on his bed, staring at his new room. His mother had insisted that they move with Reno to Twilight Town, where he was currently attending the local college. She said that it would be easier for Reno to get through college if he didn't have to worry about food not being on the table.

So, for the first time in his life, Axel wasn't sharing a room with Reno- they managed to find a small, three-bedroom house. Much better than the two-bedroom apartment they had back in Radiant Garden. But, for reasons unknown to him, Axel couldn't seem to enjoy the pleasures of having his own space. The door even had a _lock_ on it, but he couldn't see why.

Well, Reno could pick locks, but that's not the point.

Axel sighed, then fell out of bed and went across the small room to pick up the pieces of his "old" alarm clock. It had been Reno's for the longest time, but when Axel got into the habit of breaking his, Reno gave it to him, saying that the "melodious sound of plastic breaking was the best way to wake up in the morning." Axel didn't see the logic behind this, but then again, Reno had weird ideas in general.

As he dressed, Axel began to think about the people he'd meet today in school. He just hoped that he would meet someone before his lunch period, so he wouldn't have to sit alone. He hated sitting alone. He hated _seeing_ people sit alone.

Maybe, someone in his AP music theory would offer him a seat. Or his poetry class.

Axel slipped into his sneakers, grabbed his book bag, and left his room. He reached the kitchen without tripping, grabbed a piece of toast that Reno was holding out for him, and sat down, going over his schedule once more. He had memorized the order of the classes, but he couldn't get down the room numbers yet.

He had half and hour before he'd have to get in the car, then ten minutes more before he got to the school.

* * *

Kids. Everywhere.

Axel felt like he was going to drown in a sea of teenage angst.

_Did you hear that so and so broke up?_

_My Dad didn't let me go out all summer!_

_Bitch, stay away from me this year, got it?_

And this was only while he was trying to get up the front steps. For being a college town, Twilight Town was surprisingly small. He looked up information on it last night- the High school had less than four hundred students. Average class size was fifteen.

Axel had a feeling he wasn't going to find anyone that would open his or her clique up for him.

As he entered the front doors with the other kids, though, there was one guy he saw, struggling with an instrument case and being pushed around. He had his blonde hair in a strange style, but what did that matter? Axel went over to the group, pushed his way in, and pulled the kid out of the way.

The other teen grabbed his arm, and led him running down the hall, turning into a basement-like hall, down stairs, and then stopping to rest. He looked like crap- his face was starting to swell, and his breathing was ragged.

Axel stood up from where he had leaned against the concrete wall, and went over to the other teen. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," the teen said after a bit. He looked up, and they seemed to just stare at each other. Axel felt a little weirded out, but the other teen then continued. "Uh, have I met you before?" He stood up, setting his instrument on the ground.

"No," Axel said. He was new to the area, how could they have met before?

"Oh, good!" The blonde's face lit up. "So, that means that you're new to the school, and that means that you need to go to the office to check in." The blonde started back up the stairs, but Axel caught his arm.

"What's your name?"

"Oh, yeah, that's kinda important, isn't it?" The blonde smiled. "Demyx."

"Axel."

* * *

Axel stood outside of his second period class with the counselor, waiting while he tried to get the teacher's attention. Axel sighed, and then took initiative to step forward and knock. _That_ got his attention.

They were waved in, and the counselor decided to become bold, introducing Axel to the class. He described Axel as some kind of genius, to which the redhead scoffed silently. He looked around the room and it hit him.

_Whoa… Dèjá vu much?_

He must have had a dream before. Apprehension dreams, that kind of thing. He then looked over the kids, and stopped on the last one.

_Oh, my…did I fall asleep during the opening speech?_

Blonde hair, bright blue eyes half-closed (in boredom, maybe?), and _quite_ an interesting outfit. He had a red and black hooded tee, matching striped armsocks, and ripped, baggy black cargos. If there ever was a stereotype for emo teens, this kid fit the description perfectly.

Axel actually pinched himself.

_Well, _Axel thought, _this can't be a dream._

But, what was an angel doing wearing black? Shouldn't he be wearing something to bring out the color in his eyes more? Like, blue? Or… scratch that, the black brought out his complexion. The boy was pale, sure, but it fit him. Axel could tell, just by looking, that the teen was begging for someone to give him a chance.

He wondered if the teen even had any friends…

"So, I hope you all will be nice to Axel and help him out if he gets lost," the counselor finished, and Axel nodded, going to sit in the empty seat next to his newly declared… obsession? No, not that… well, maybe.

The teacher then went back to the class, telling them what to expect for the coming year. And Axel felt a rush of relief that he started school on their first day.

At least he won't be that behind.

* * *

So wrong. He was _really _behind.

His old school didn't do _any_ of the pre-course material for calculus, he soon found out. Nor did he know most of what was on the course outline for Physics. They were just jumping right into the hardest material possible, and Axel had a feeling it wasn't going to be like back in Radiant Garden. No more good grades for Axel…

Though, his music class was… practically empty. The same blonde from calculus was there, and Demyx. That was it. Just the three of them. The teacher didn't know what she wanted to do with the class, as she didn't know where Axel was in his studies, and Roxas (as he found out the mystery blonde's name was) was just taking the class _again_ for credit.

That made both Axel and Demyx… well, they were speechless. AP Music Theory? Again? Just for _credit?_ Who does that? Especially as a junior? The teacher explained that Roxas had gotten permission to take General Music in eighth grade, so he started early.

Actually, as the day progressed, Axel found out that Roxas had gotten permission to take a _lot_ of courses that were only for advanced seniors. The kid was a freakin' genius.

Physics Lab, his last class of the day, came and Axel had nowhere to sit. There was an empty table in the back, but why would he want to sit there? He'd just have to move again. He waited until the teacher directed him to go sit there and wait for the last student to show up- he'd be sitting there with Axel, anyway. Axel had a slight suspicion that the last student was going to be Roxas, but he kept it to himself.

He was right.

The blonde walked into class ten minutes late, giving the teacher a pass and going to sit next to Axel. Neither bothered to look at the other, but Axel desperately wanted to ask what the teacher was going on about. Granted, it was lab safety, and he _should_ have known the material, but his old teacher didn't bother going into detail- it was just basically no food, no drink, and if you're not sure about something, don't be afraid to ask.

Goggles? Why the hell would they have to wear goggles?

A slip of paper was put into his hand, and he looked at it, startled a little, then at Roxas. He was busy… sleeping. His eyes were closed, at any rate. Axel smiled- the calm look on the teen's face suited him. He looked at the paper and read.

_p. 10 in textbook has everything he's saying in chart form- the previous pages go into detail. Read tonight or tomorrow. Test on Wed._

Axel wondered how he knew that there was a test; but a look up on the board showed that he did, in fact, have a test on Wednesday. He would have thanked the blonde, but the final bell rang and everyone- including Roxas- ran out of the room. Axel gathered his things and left slower than everyone else.

When he got down to his locker, he found a note attached to it with his name on it. He figured it was Demyx, as that was the only person he had properly introduced himself to today.

_You really should get out of that room quicker. Mr. Bender is known to be sweet on the girls- but he's hit on boys before, too. Chimo, through and through. I'm just warning you because you're the type that he would try that on. Just putting you on your guard. _

_Oh, and welcome to Twilight High. _

_Roxas_

What was a "chimo"? Axel had no idea, but he figured it wasn't good. He made a resolution to get out of the class quicker. He certainly didn't want to be hit on by a teacher- especially that one. Bender was creepy.

He left the school building, quite happy that Roxas had… well, kind of talked to him. He had noticed that Roxas didn't talk at all- he had almost all of his classes with the blonde. Just not lunch. But, Roxas didn't have lunch during either of the other two lunch periods. Axel wondered if he ever got hungry.

As he approached the parking lot where he knew Reno would be waiting for him, he heard steps scuffing behind him. He looked and saw Roxas with his hood up, a few of his blonde spikes sticking out and covering his pretty eyes.

He looked so… _lost_.

"Hey, Roxas?" Axel called out. Roxas looked up, and Axel locked eyes with him. "You okay?" Roxas broke the eye contact, nodded hesitantly, and continued past Axel. Axel took a few steps and caught up with him easily, grabbing the small hand that was holding the strap of his messenger bag.

Roxas gasped as Axel turned him around so he faced him. Axel studied those blue eyes, looking for some sort of message. He put his hand on Roxas' shoulder. "Are you sure? 'Cause I know that you don't look it."

The blonde stood still, but wouldn't say anything. Axel sighed, flipped open his phone and called Reno. "Hey, Reno?"

"_I'm waiting on the other side of the bank, if that's what you're asking._"

"No, Reno, I'm gonna hang out a little with a new friend," Axel said looking at Roxas. The blonde's head perked up at the sound of "friend," like he really couldn't believe that that word was being directed at him. There was a light blush on his face.

As much as Axel liked the creamy complexion of this blonde, the rosy color was too cute to wish for the old skin tone back.

"_Alright. Be home before six, though, 'cause Mom was gonna take us out for dinner._"

"Will do, bye." Axel closed his phone and slipped it back in his pocket. He turned to Roxas and nudged him forward. The blonde was startled by the sudden push, but started walking next to Axel.

_Finally, we're getting' somewhere_, Axel thought. He also thought about putting his arm around the blonde's shoulders, but shook that out of his head. He supposed that this was new to the blonde as it was- hanging out with a friend. He didn't want to overload the boy's mind with new stuff.

"So, Roxas," Axel started. Roxas looked up at him, still not talking. "Where to?" Roxas raised an eyebrow at him, clearly confused. Axel chuckled. "It's your town, right?" Roxas nodded slowly. "So, take me to somewhere you like to go… please?"

Roxas turned his head down, then turned down an alleyway. Axel followed, noticing finally that they weren't in the bank parking lot anymore. Roxas lead him through the mess of small buildings- it was more confusing than back home, Axel thought.

But, somehow, he knew that Roxas wouldn't lead him to someplace stupid. It just felt _right_ to be with Roxas, just the two of them, scurrying around the back alleys of Twilight town. For awhile, nothing else mattered- just that Roxas seemed to be having a good time, checking back on Axel every now and then, no longer harboring that lost look on his face.

Those blue eyes looked so _clear_ now and Axel smiled at him every chance he could.

When they finally came out of the alleys, Axel looked down on the creek that wound its way around the town. There was a matted down spot of grass near the bank that Roxas led him to next, and they both sat down. They both slipped their bags off their shoulders and sighed at the same time.

Axel laughed first. Then, slowly, Roxas joined in, putting his head on his knees after drawing them up close to his body. Axel leaned back on his elbows and sighed again, listening to the soft laughter of the boy beside him. Roxas then stopped, and looked back at Axel, his eyes shining with _something_ that made Axel's smile broader.

And then he couldn't help himself. He sat up and pulled Roxas' hood down and brushed the hair out of his face. The blush came back; but the eyes became a little duller. Axel cupped the side of the blonde's face. "You should laugh more often. It sounds really nice."

He felt Roxas lean a little into his hand, his blush deepening. Axel smiled. No one had ever complemented him this way, Axel could tell. Then again, it was also possible that no one had ever seen Roxas like this, either.

And poor Roxas, he'd probably never met someone like Axel- who was _very_ straightforward with his feelings.

He let his hand drop slowly, dragging it down the petite body before him, then brought it around to rest on the small of the blonde's back. He could feel Roxas shiver- he definitely had never been touched even like this before, had he? Axel couldn't suppress a smirk as he pulled the teen closer to him.

They stayed that way, shifting only a few times to get a little more comfy. When they both stopped moving and started enjoying the presence of the other, Axel was laid back and Roxas had snuggled up close, laying his head on the redhead's shoulder. Axel kept his arm around the teen's body while he looked up at the fluffy white clouds drifting past.

It felt like a dream. A _really_ nice dream.

Axel soon raised his other arm up and pulled his fingers through the blonde hair. He felt Roxas hum, then shift a little closer; Axel took this as an okay and continued. He marveled at how soft his hair was, and almost broke the silence by asking how he did it.

The bell rang four. Roxas started getting a little fidgety. Axel sat them both up, putting the hand that had been going through the blonde hair next to him, on the ground. He was going to ask what was wrong when the tiny body flung itself at him and threw its arms around his neck. Startled by Roxas' sudden move, he only pulled the teen into his lap and held him. Roxas ended up straddling Axel's lap, but it didn't seem that he cared.

He just held onto Axel like… he didn't want to let go. Not that Axel minded. Even if Roxas was just tired and wanted something to rest his eyes against, if Axel could be it, he was happy.

But, fate's a bitch.

When the clock tower tolled five, Roxas pulled away from the embrace and gathered his things together quickly. Axel couldn't help but think that the past hour and a half of just being together was… for nothing. They had a _moment_, right?

Roxas started scribbling as Axel watched, interested. Why couldn't he just say it? It's not like there was anyone else around, and _they had a moment_.

Roxas ran off after pushing the note into Axel hand. For one, it had directions back to the school, so he could find his way home. _Thanks Roxas!_ Axel called out in his head.

The rest of it was writing.

_Sorry for ruining our… moment… but my step-mom gets pissy when I'm not home by five… actually, she gets pissy when I'm not home by three, but she gets really bad when I'm home after five. See you tomorrow, Axel._

There was a little bit after that that had been erased, but Axel could only make out a little bit of it.

It looked like "I hope."

Why would he have to hope about seeing Axel in school? Of course he'd be in school tomorrow…

Then it hit him. His step-mom gets pissy. What if she hits him? He'd still be in school, right?

Axel sighed, but didn't think more on it as he walked home.

* * *

Disclaimer: Why? I don't wanna own it- then I could really write fanfiction. That would suck…

A/N: First chappie is done!!! YAY!!! Oh, I'm so happy now, cuz I got this stuffed moose for Christmas (usually I get a bear but the moose was more cuddly) and I had it with me while I typed the second part of this and it all ran so smoothly!!! I HAVE A MUSE!!!

I've never had a muse before… Well, there's Kittee, but she ran out on me to be with Xemnas and I'll never understand why, but she did. Bitch. Well, she's past. And she never worked… Moose works for me (yeah, that's its name… no, I haven't decided if it's a boy or a girl) so it's here to stay… until it stops working.

Review please? Oh, you know what would be great? If someone could give me a name! My working name for the step-brother is, seriously, "s-b" because I can't think of anyone that would work. Just need a name- it'd be great if it's a KH character, but it doesn't have to be. Thanks!


	2. Away From The Sun

Away From The Sun

_In the dark, alone… but, not really… there's someone that's followed him there._

_Someone to help him make sense of his life…_

_Someone to help him find what was lost…_

_Someone to help him find the Sun…_

_Nothing else mattered… he needed to feel cared for._

_Maybe his Sun would come back soon._

* * *

Maybe, he thought, leaving Axel that suddenly… wasn't the best thing he could have done. He walked up the streets of Twilight Town, thinking back on what he had been doing.

Axel had started it. He went all creepy and shit on him first. Who says that someone else's laugh is nice and gets cuddly with them after knowing them for a grand total of six and a half hours? Roxas shuddered, remembering how close they had gotten…

It was really nice.

He shook his head. _No, it wasn't… _He couldn't find it in himself to confirm it. He had even told Axel (well, he wrote it down, but _same difference_) that he was sorry to ruin the moment. There was a moment there… right? Roxas really wasn't sure. He knew that he felt safer in Axel's arms than anywhere in the past few years. He knew that when the clock tower tolled four he started really fearing for his well-being- maybe even his life-, Axel had noticed and been concerned.

He knew that when it finally dawned on him that his step-mom was going to be really pissed when he came home, he had a feeling that, maybe, he wasn't going to see Axel again and he got as close as he could. And Axel had held him, still. Even though he was such a shitty kid, and he had the worst of flaws, Axel either couldn't see them or chose to look past them.

But, though he knew that Axel wouldn't hurt him, nor would he laugh if he said something horribly stupid… Roxas couldn't bring himself to say anything to him. He still didn't trust his voice.

Roxas came up to the house he was supposed to call "home" and frowned. He felt more at home in Axel's arms- and he knew that sounded cheesy, but it was true. Axel had held him like he _belonged_ there. And he only knew the guy since nine o'clock that morning.

He went around the back of the house, to the sliding glass door into his room. He lived in the basement since he had been kicked out of his own room. At least the space was finished and didn't leak or get too cold during the winter. After putting his bag down near the door, he flopped down on his makeshift bed- it was an old couch that his step-mom was going to throw out because it reminded her of Roxas' father.

His father and he had made a lot of good memories on that couch- countless movie nights watching cheap action movies, cheesy romantic comedies, and the like; playing tag, hide-and-seek, or, when his cousin Sora came over for the day, Sardines; curling together to take naps when he was really young; and even having father-son talks on sex, politics, Roxas getting a job, and, of course, Lydia.

That couch was very important to Roxas, as it was the only thing left in the house that was left of his father's reign. Lydia had even redone the designing of the house after she moved in. Inside and out, the house wasn't the same one that Roxas had grown up in and she had used all of the leftover money that they had to buy new furniture and fixtures for the house, saying it was "seriously style-challenged and outdated."

Roxas could do nothing but stand back and watch his childhood disappear from under his feet. His father was gone, so no one could stop her.

The height chart that his father kept to track how much Roxas _didn't_ grow? Painted over.

The kitchen sink that was just deep enough for two people's dishes for a day? Replaced with one to hold three times as much.

The mirror in the bathroom that Roxas would always stare into and wonder how much he really looked like his mother? _Gone_.

He buried his face in the familiar cushions and pulled the ripped, gray blanket over his body before letting a shiver run down his spine and huddling closer to himself. Lydia must have "forgot" to turn on the heat in the basement at two-thirty like she promised she would when he moved down there.

Briefly, he wondered what his chances were that he'd make it to school tomorrow. Fifty-fifty, he guessed. It all depended on whether or not Lydia or the Spawn decided to check on him.

* * *

The door slammed, stirring Roxas from his sleep.

_Fuck! I fell asleep!_ Roxas thought, pulling himself up to a sitting position and turned to the stairs. He saw the Spawn himself, that signature smirk slinking into position as the dark eyes sucked the little light there was in the basement out of the air. Down the steps, one by one, slowly- Roxas couldn't move.

Well, it wasn't that he was physically unable. Just that, Clyde was so much more… physically able…

Roxas had skinny stick-arms. Clyde had fuckin' _guns_.

Roxas had a flat stomach. Clyde had a some-huge-number-pack.

Roxas' legs were used for running. Clyde's legs were used for that _and_ for kicking helpless kids while they were down.

He had found out early on that trying to escape from Clyde's wrath was a waste of energy. So, instead, he just sat on that couch and watched as Clyde basked in the apparent fear radiating from his body.

His stepbrother stood in front of him and curled his lip- whether in disgust or smugness, Roxas couldn't tell. He watched as the right gun came forward and pulled his shirt up, lifting his body along with it. No resistance. There was no point in doing so. Roxas felt his heart thudding slowly in his chest, freezing in fear.

_Good-bye couch,_ he thought, _it's been nice sleeping on you… guess you get to be my deathbed, too, huh?_

The sneering breath in his face reeked of chewed-up pizza and carbonation. Resisting the urge to cough, Roxas held his own breath for as long as he could. The Spawn just tightened his grip and kept breathing on him.

_Don't cough… no need to stimulate him, he's probably already angry enough as it is…_

His vision was going… spotty…

He coughed.

Then it went by too fast and Roxas couldn't keep up. He knew he heard the basement door open and close again, but it didn't matter really. Clyde had thrown his body down and, with a dead _thud_, Roxas felt his vision come back and leave again in the same second but then those legs went and did what they did best.

They kicked. Not hard enough to knock the wind all the way out of its lungs, but certainly enough to hurt and bruise. Again and again, the boots attached to those legs would connect with another part of its midsection.

Roxas even admitted to degrading to an "it" during these actions because… well, what else could he be? His body was just another object to focus anger on. As soon as Clyde got into one of these moods, Roxas was no longer human.

He was nothing.

Blood found its way out of the body's mouth as its entirety was wreaked with spasms. A weakly closed fist came to the bloody face and tried to cover it up. The kicking stopped after a few more blows, a deceivingly soft voice calming the kicker. Heavy breathing came from both the attacker and the victim- for different reasons. Clyde was tired from letting his anger out. Roxas was almost drowning in his own blood.

It was only the sound of the panting, coughing, and soothing words filling the small basement room. Clyde turned and left, storming up the stairs and screaming about how little sluts like Roxas shouldn't be allowed to say things like he did.

Roxas tuned in to hear the yelling and wondered when he had uttered anything. He coughed again and opened his eyes to his step-mom staring down at him. She even kneeled down and acted like a caring mother should.

If he had the breath to, Roxas would have scoffed.

"Roxas, you have to learn not to say things that make Clyde angry," she said. Her eyes said the exact opposite.

_Roxas, you have to learn that neither of us want you here so roll over and die, okay?_

Lydia helped him up and gingerly put him on the couch and sat beside him. Yes, now he was back to being a "he" rather than an "it" because… well, as much as he knew she was doing this grudgingly, he was (kind of) being cared for. Like a human. She would dress him up so that no one would notice what had happened, covering up for her own son.

Clyde was her baby. Sure, the baby had anger management problems, but _Roxas_ shouldn't provoke her baby. Sure, the baby was two years older than Roxas and still didn't have a job or go to school anymore, but why should Clyde have to work or learn when Roxas was there to bring in money and little Clyde was so smart as it was?

Lydia had him spit out the blood still pooling in his mouth and sit up. He did as he was told, knowing that she was done helping him. She lifted his shirt up and gingerly touched his stomach- he winced.

"Shut up," she snapped. "It's your fault you provoke him. Just stop talking to him and he won't have any reason to hurt you, stupid fuck!" She pushed him back into a lying position and turned around, telling him that the dishes needed to be washed and the fireplace needed wood.

"And when you're done with those two chores, I'll see what I can do about food for you."

She went up the stairs, leaving Roxas alone. He was used to it, honestly, but sometimes he wished that she would just treat him half as well as she treated Clyde. He curled into himself and sniffed the couch.

The scent was dying. Like his memory of his father… Roxas couldn't remember what his father looked like anymore. Couldn't recall what his voice sounded like. All he had was the scent in the couch, and that was leaving him, too.

His father had started dating Lydia after Roxas told him that he really wanted a mother- when Roxas was eleven. He had told his father that everyone at school made fun of him that day because it was the Friday before Mother's Day and he had no mother to give the school-made gift to. Dad just smiled and said that he was working on that.

Within two weeks, Roxas met Lydia for the first time.

He really thought that Lydia was great when he first met her. She was pretty, and Dad liked her, so why not? She cooked wonderfully, and even talked to Roxas about how much she liked his dad. She said that she's seen pictures of his mother and could totally see where Roxas got his "dashing good looks". Roxas had blushed and Dad had laughed.

Even Clyde didn't seem that bad when he had first met him. Roxas talked his ear off, then, but Clyde talked back and they looked like real brothers to many strangers whenever they went along with their parents on a "date."

Then they got married and everything died.

Lydia started yelling that Dad was cheating on her after only two months of being married. Clyde would start calling Roxas a bastard and other names that the little blonde didn't know how to handle- he was only just starting middle school, he wasn't used to being insulted so much. When he'd go to his father or Lydia to tell them what Clyde just called him, Lydia would say he's just expanding his vocabulary and Dad would start yelling at her. And Roxas would be alone to deal with it.

By the time he was halfway through seventh grade, he knew most of those insulting words and what they meant. A "bastard" was a bad word for someone who was born without his or her parents being married. A "slut" was someone who slept around for fun. A "skank" referred to people who paraded their skin with no shame. A "fucker" was another, worse word, for a slut.

A "whore" was someone who sold their body for sex.

So, when Roxas came home to see Lydia rolling around with another man- not his father- and engaging in what he knew was sex, then later seeing her pay for pizza with money he saw the other man give her, what else would he say? He pulled his father aside to talk to him in private and told him that he saw Lydia whoring herself out.

It was the first time that his father had ever hit him.

"Why would you say something like that about her, Roxas???" Dad had said. Roxas only held his throbbing cheek with his hand as he willed the painful stinging behind his eyes to go away.

Lydia and Dad had another fight that night. Roxas heard the whole thing, huddled in the corner between his bed and the wall. He was so afraid that night- because his father had hit him before- that both of them might come in here and take their anger out on him.

Dad came in later that night and apologized for hitting Roxas. Because Roxas was right- Lydia had admitted to it. Dad held Roxas as they fell asleep on the floor.

His father had left within the month, telling Roxas he'd be back for him. Roxas begged his father to take him with him right then, but Dad told him that he couldn't. Simply couldn't. Roxas almost cried, but Lydia came and pulled him back inside, telling him he needed a mother figure more than he needed his father.

That night, Clyde punched him and called him a son of a bitch. That was a new insult to Roxas and he didn't know what it meant, but he did know it wasn't a compliment. Lydia sent him to bed without dinner and told him he'd have to move out of his room by the end of the week. When he asked why, Lydia told him to shut up and just do as he was instructed.

Roxas cried that night; cried himself to sleep. He woke later because his stomach was growling for food. But, when he went out into the kitchen, he found that all the cupboards had locks, as did the refrigerator and freezer. He wondered when those had been put on and went back to bed quietly, but his stomach was not quiet enough.

Lydia was standing in the hallway and wielding a wooden spoon. She tapped it against her hand like it was a baseball bat and then asking what Roxas was doing out of bed. When he tried to answer that he was hungry, she grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, hitting his backside with the spoon.

"Shut up!" she had screamed as he whimpered in pain. She just kept hitting him all over his back with that spoon, repeating her command, but he couldn't stop the noise coming from his throat. He tried to be quiet at first, he really did, but soon he was almost screaming for her to please, _please_ stop. She just hit harder and screamed louder.

When she did stop, it was well past midnight. His back was throbbing in time to his racing heart and hot to the touch. He stumbled into his room and noticed that there was a little blood on his fingers from where he touched his back. He climbed under his covers and fell back asleep- on his side, _not_ on his back- after he realized that there was no way he would be fed tonight. With his stomach still digesting air, he slept.

Four years of this, in varying intensities, with many different instruments, and his father still hadn't come back for him. Roxas was starting to give up on anyone saving him from Clyde's anger and Lydia's insane moments.

_But, what about Axel?_ He thought as he lay on the couch. Surely, after this afternoon, Axel would give a damn if he came to school the next day with bruises all over?

Roxas smiled to himself. He was going to school tomorrow. He hadn't been scolded as bad as he was expecting, and he was certainly well enough to walk to school.

He would see Axel tomorrow. He had to- the redhead was in every one of his classes, except for fifth period health. He was still alive.

Axel wouldn't see his bruises from what Clyde did to him a few minutes ago, but there would be more. Oh, yes, Roxas was sure; there would be bruises in the future.

Lydia called for him again. "Roxas! Get your ass up here and do these dishes or you won't eat tonight or tomorrow!!!"

Food was his first ally, though. Food came first. He'd worry about Clyde's anger problems later, when he had food to think on. Roxas was shaky pulling himself up off the couch, but he did it. His midsection was still sore, but he knew it would go away soon. It had been going away for four years now.

He honestly could only dream about the day when the pain would go away and never come back.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own what I do not own. _Duh._

A/N: Thank-you to everyone that reviewed and left names! They were all really helpful, but thank-you darkraven89 for the name that I used. Moose was very happy that everyone gave positive feedback for his musing work. I hope this chapter clears up the reason why Roxas doesn't talk, yes? Maybe? A tiny bit?

Thanks again for reading!


	3. Absolutely Story of a Girl

Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

_Those eyes… He loves them. _

_So sad._

_So lonely._

_So pretty._

_He didn't know that those eyes have cried a river. Many times._

_Those eyes hid themselves from the world. _

_But He still loves them. Especially when they smile._

* * *

Axel waited on the steps of the school for the eight o'clock bell to ring. He was also waiting for Roxas- that erased line had bugged him all last night, so much that he had trouble sleeping.

_I hope._

When he saw a head of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye, he looked up. But, it was a girl. He had seen her in one of his other classes, but her name escaped him.

"Hi," she said, "I'm Naminè."

Well, that solved that problem. Axel smiled a little at her, stuck out his hand and said his own name. They shook briefly, Naminè pulling away quickly as though he had some sort of plague. Axel noticed this, and clarified: "I don't bite, you know."

She looked uneasy, but sat down next to him. Her tight jeans showed how skinny her legs were, like sticks, and her tank hung a little off her small chest. Axel noticed that she had the same shade of blue in her eyes that Roxas did.

He liked Roxas' eyes better. They were clearer, somehow.

"Axel, I noticed you walking with Roxas yesterday," she started. "And I thought, as the student body president, that I should be the first to warn you that Roxas is mentally unstable. He's one of _those _kids, the ones that are bound to just snap one day and go on a killing spree."

He stared.

She went on. "And, it's statistically proven that the teen killer will kill his best friend first. You're endangering yourself by getting close to him." Her grim disposition changed to a happy smile as she continued, "So, if you'd like, there'll be a seat next to one my friends in every one of your classes. For your own protection."

"Why?"

Axel's question startled Naminè, and she gave an intelligent "huh?" before Axel continued. "Why would you say something like that? How do you know that Roxas is unstable? Have you communicated with him?"

"No one can! He doesn't talk!"

"Duh!" Axel said, and stood up, facing her. He could see the object of their argument coming up the sidewalk. "But, there's other means of _communicating_; have you tried passing notes with him?" Her face turned blank as he passed by her, going over to Roxas.

They exchanged smiles, Roxas' much smaller than Axel's. When they passed Naminè again, going up the steps, Axel whispered in Roxas' ear, "She's a real bitch, huh?"

Roxas' smile grew minutely. He nodded back.

* * *

As promised, in every one of his classes, a well-dressed, pretty teenager would come up to him and ask him to sit next to them. Each time, Roxas' eyes would fall to his desk- or to the floor if he was standing- and he'd walk away from Axel with defeated eyes. But Axel would always decline, saying that he had a perfectly good seat by Roxas, and the blonde's eyes would become bright again.

Axel didn't bring up the '_I hope_' at all that day, and really wasn't planning on it, either.

He stood at the front of the lunchroom, staring at the Sea of Teenagers, and wondered why Roxas couldn't be in this "class" with him. He knew he had three choices: he could go sit by Demyx, or Naminè, or just not eat and go somewhere else. Patting his stomach, and knowing that there would be a hearty dinner when his mother came home from work, Axel opted for the third choice, and left the room.

He walked through the halls, still trying to memorize the layout. Science wing, History, Languages, Math- it really wasn't that hard, but teachers that taught different subjects shared the rooms and the different wings blended instead of having sharp transitions.

He looked up when his feet stopped. Music… the second smallest wing in the whole school- only the art wing was smaller, a single room on the end of the math wing. There was the band room, the choir/General Music room, and two soundproof practice rooms. Axel remembered that he had choir later today, and wondered if Demyx or Roxas would be there. Demyx, more likely- Roxas didn't look like one to sing (let alone talk, of course).

Speaking of Roxas…

The blonde worried him this morning. They were walking through the halls after stopping at their lockers when someone came up beside them and bumped into Roxas' back. Now, normally, Axel wouldn't have taken notice, but when Roxas gasped- painfully, he concluded from the way that the blue eyes opened wide and his back arched from the touch- Axel yelled back at the guy to "Watch where the fuck you're goin' next time!!!" and then tuned his volume down to ask the blonde if he was alright. Roxas had leaned up against the wall gingerly and nodded, then later wrote him a note saying that he had slipped down the hill behind his house and fell on his back hard and that it still hurt.

He had, grudgingly, accepted this explanation. Sure, he'd never been to Roxas' house, but he was pretty sure there weren't many slopes in the residential neighborhood. There was simply no way that he could have fallen _that_ hard, could there?

Axel reasoned that he was pretty quick to leave yesterday. What if his step-mom…?

He shook his head and continued out of the music wing. Roxas wasn't one to lie to him. If he fell, he fell. Granted, they didn't have a real friendship yet, but he reasoned that if something like that happened to him, Roxas would tell him, or at least hint at it.

The bell rang after a few minutes of hall wandering. Axel made his way to the History wing. He waited outside the room for a little while, and then saw Roxas walk up silently (_duh_) and smiled. Roxas half-smiled back to him as they walked into the room and sat down next to each other.

Axel talked to him, asking only yes or no questions, and managed to get a tiny laugh out of the blonde. He seemed so much more guarded now than he did at the creek the day before. Though he wondered what kind of punishment Roxas had to withstand last night for being home late, Axel would not ask.

In truth, he was afraid of what he'd find out.

They were given a project, due in a week, for that class. They were allowed to work in pairs, and Axel had a fleeting suspicion that Naminè would bug him to be her partner.

Which she did, right after school, as he and Roxas walked out the main doors. She was leaning up against a pillar, and, upon seeing the redhead, jumped out in front of him and flashed a dazzling smile. "Hello, Axel. About the project in History, I think we should do the Merman rebellion of two-sixty-four. I already know a _lot_ about it, and that means it'll be done quickly and then we can hang out and get to know each other like friends should."

Axel swung his arm around Roxas' shoulders and pulled him past the babbling blonde. Roxas gave him a confused look as they turned into the alley from yesterday and Axel returned his arm to his side. Their eyes met and no words were exchanged. It seemed that, as they sat down on the bank, Roxas finally understood that Axel wasn't going to let their friendship dissipate.

"Wanna do the Merman Rebellion, Roxas?" Axel asked as he leaned back on his elbows.

He got a nod in return as the blonde leaned back as well. They didn't cuddle at all; instead, they just sat and "talked." Mostly about the project- it turned out that Roxas was not only math-smart and music-smart, but history-smart, too. He wrote notes on different details that Axel had never read of in his text books, and together, they piled together a pretty good timeline of the entire rebellion.

Axel offered to put the poster together later that night and bring it into school with him the next day so Roxas could go over it.

_That'd be great… sorry I have to leave so suddenly, Axel_, Roxas wrote, pulling his books together and standing up.

"It's okay, I get it," Axel said. The blonde shook his head as he left Axel on the bank of the creek. It was past four o'clock- Roxas _should_ have been home an hour ago. Axel kept reminding him of this, but the smaller teen would just write that he could deal with whatever she threw at him.

The sweetest thing, though, was after the tenth time of Axel reminding Roxas of the time, the blonde wrote down more than just he could deal with it.

_Axel. I'd rather be here- with you- than anywhere else right now. _

He knew better than to take that as an almost-love-declaration, but Axel couldn't help but think that maybe Roxas was starting to _like_ him.

Although, Roxas was most likely just happy to have a friend. It seemed, to Axel, that everyone else in school really believed what Naminè had told him that morning.

Other than the lack of talking, Roxas didn't even seem that different from any other teen in Axel's eyes. Well, _of course_ he was different in a sense, but he wasn't crazy or creepy like the girls had said. Axel sighed. What was it going to take to get Roxas to speak?

They were in choir before- Roxas was, indeed, in the class- and Axel could only imagine what the blonde would sound like. He wouldn't sing; he was the choir's accompaniment. But, Axel could judge by the way the blonde sounded when he laughed yesterday that his voice, though it would be weak from disuse, would sound simply beautiful.

Axel packed up and went home, not once thinking about anything other than the potential sound of Roxas' voice.

* * *

_Disclaimer Standardo_

A/N: sorry for the wait, the length, the everything. Filler chapter, honestly. The next one'll prolly be one, too… sorry. I lost Moose for awhile, so that's why it sucks. Sorry. Quarter projects, cheerleading, chiropractor appts, it's just been hard to find a good chunk of time to just _type_. Sorry again. Review, plz? I'm almost at 20!


	4. Tears Don't Fall

Tears Don't Fall

_Even in the darkest times, He's always there. _

_In front of him, as his protector._

_Behind him, to catch him._

_At his side, as his partner._

_But, would He hear him, if he were to call out for him?_

_Would He hold him, if he knew his shame?_

* * *

He ran. And ran. Turned, grabbed the corner of the house and slid around, down to the door to his room. He threw the door open and jumped onto his couch and listened to his heartbeat._Thump-thump, Thump-thump…_

It pounded in his ears, slowing down bit by bit. But, the only other thing Roxas could hear was the buzzing of silence. In the growing darkness, he lay still, waiting for either Clyde or Lydia to come down and beat him. He became so apprehensive, his heart began to hit against his ribcage painfully.

He focused on his breathing. In the nose, out the mouth… slowly, deeply… Even slower. His heart calmed down, but he kept on thinking, _slower, slower_.

_Thump-thump…_

_Thump… thump…_

Roxas' eyes slipped closed as a single chill ran down his spine. His heart sped up a little, to normal speed. At least there was some part of the teen that wasn't ready to give up yet.

* * *

It was well past sunset when Roxas woke up from the self-induced nap. Night had crept into the room through the windows, a chill in the air ever-present. He pulled the gray blanket over his body and curled up. He shivered, and his stomach growled from mistreatment, but he paid neither any mind. 

He sniffed the couch. The fading memory of Dad came to Roxas' mind, but he could find no joy in the picture formed.

_Why hasn't he come back yet?_ Roxas thought. It was a valid question. What could be so important that he could not come back after four years? Even more pressing, where could he have gone that he could not keep up any form of communication with his own son, or even bring said son with him?

The only place that Roxas could think that his father wouldn't have wanted to bring him was Traverse Town, Twilight's neighbor. Traverse was infamous for having a large section dedicated to bars, clubs, and the like.

But, surely Dad wouldn't go there, right? 

Roxas couldn't be certain. His father had told him countless stories about that place- that had also been the place where he had lost his mother, according to Dad. If there was any place Dad would never take him, it was Traverse Town.

Perhaps, that was the only place he could get work _and_ a place to stay. Roxas' Dad was a maintenance worker, and he _did_ get laid off in the last few weeks before he left.

Roxas sighed. He stood up and went over to the wall where the light switch was, turned the light on, and panicked.

Clyde sat on the stairs, staring at him with daggers in his eyes. He stood up and walked down the stairs, keeping his gaze locked with the smaller blonde at the landing.

As his step-brother came closer, Roxas did think to try his voice out, to call for… someone.

_Axel._

Clyde stood right in front of him, trapping his exits on either side. Roxas looked longingly at the sliding glass door, wishing that Axel would- by some miracle- peak his head in and see the potential danger that he was in. But, he knew that this wouldn't happen. Not now, not ever.

Not Dad. Not Mom. Definitely not Axel.

There was nobody that would save him.

The Spawn's fist connected with Roxas' still-bruised stomach. He grunted, almost falling forward into Clyde, but his attacker wasn't going to let up. Again and again, his fist connected with soft flesh, until It couldn't hold back the blood pooling in its mouth, letting it dribble out of the corners. Its eyes closed during the assault, not daring to look at the Spawn- Clyde had been known to become angrier if It looked at him.

When Clyde stopped, Roxas let his body slump forward. He was in too much pain to bother to keep his body upright. His head was held up when it connected with his step-brother's chest. Clyde actually held Roxas' body up, then put it down gently. The small blonde cringed at what could be to come.

Did Clyde put him on the ground to make him easier to stomp on?

_No…no more_, Roxas thought.

It seemed, for a moment, that Roxas' thoughts were heard. Clyde seemed to make no move to attack the face-up boy at his feet.

Then Roxas heard a zipper being pulled. _Oh, God, please no… _Next he knew, he couldn't breathe by an obstruction in his mouth. He made to scream, but Clyde was ahead of him.

"You don't talk, I don't call my mother and tell her you were making a move on me," Clyde said. "Understood?"

Roxas, with Clyde's dick still in his mouth, nodded. He knew that Lydia would probably kill him if she heard that. There was still that human instinct to live in Roxas' heart, and he reasoned that he'd still be alive after this, if he doesn't alert Lydia to what they're doing.

A single tear slipped down his face, dripping into his ear. Where was his Dad when he needed him?

"Good. Now, _suck_."

* * *

Roxas laid on the couch, curled up, crying at the foul taste no amount of rinsing could get out of his mouth. Clyde had only left a few minutes ago, congratulating Roxas on finding a good use for his mouth. After his step-brother left the basement, Roxas ran to the laundry/bathroom and rinsed his mouth out at least ten times, but the taste of Clyde's fuck refused to go down the drain. 

Along with the taste was the feeling. _That_ certainly wouldn't go down the drain. Ever. The sickening feeling that his own step-brother had gotten off in his mouth.

_In his fucking mouth!!!_

Roxas, with tears still raining down his face, threw the blanket off his shaky body and stumbled into the laundry/bathroom and kneeled over the toilet. He heaved five times, a white-ish vomit filling the bowl. Then it came dry, and fresh tears fell from his eyes from the pain of over-using his bruised stomach muscles.

He whimpered, coughed, spit, and flushed the regurgitated semen down the drain.

The taste and feeling would not go away. Nor would the memory.

_"Swallow it!!!"_

Roxas felt his face pale as he dry-heaved again over the toilet bowl. He felt so _cold_; not only because of the lack of heat in the basement.

He pulled himself up and laid back down on his couch. He drew the blanket over his body, even though he knew it would do nothing for the chills that now crept up and down his spine.

It was well past midnight before he finally fell asleep, but Clyde would not leave his mind, even in sleep. He woke up at least once an hour from the nightmare of having the Spawn hovering above him with his fly down and sticking that _thing_ in his mouth.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and just got up and dressed in clean clothes. It was just starting to get light out, and he sat on his couch to watch the sun rise over the hill. It was because of times like these that he wished that, even if it meant risking whatever childish innocence he had left, he had gone with his father. He wished he had refused to stay behind. He wished that Dad could have seen that he would be safer with him instead of being left in Twilight Town.

But, no. It doesn't work like that. Wishes were for romantics, people who really thought that good things happened to good people. Life didn't work out that way; Roxas figured that out a long time ago. If that were the case, his father wouldn't have had to end up with Lydia.

Roxas didn't consider himself a good person. He felt that if he was a good person, his father wouldn't have punished him with having to stay here with Lydia and the Spawn.

As the sun came over the hill, Roxas gathered his books together and walked out the door, keeping a hand over his stomach in case he threw up again. Or dry-heaved. He hadn't eaten anything since the night before last, when Lydia had thrown a few pieces of bread at him (then told him to get the dishes done). Breakfast didn't ever happen, and he was never given any money for lunch. And, it's not like he had anywhere else to go to eat.

When he walked past the park, he realized that, maybe, he did have somewhere else to go.

The way that Axel turned everyone away and stayed by his side… it made Roxas think that, maybe, he could probably turn to Axel if he really needed it.

_Fuck that._

Why would Axel want to even look at him after what happened last night? People passed Roxas on the street, and he felt as though he was wearing a sign that said: "BLOWHORE." Surely, Axel would catch on that he was just some little slut that had no backbone.

He couldn't do it.

He went to school, saw Axel next to him every step he took, but couldn't look the redhead in the eyes. He read all the notes that were passed to him by Axel, but couldn't write back. He stood next to Axel as they turned in their project on the Merman rebellion, but he couldn't even stand up for very long before he felt his knees start to go out.

Roxas ran home after school. He didn't want to get stopped by Axel- he'd never be able to get back to reality.

Axel was romanticism. And, now that Roxas was tainted a gross off-white color, he couldn't find it in him to corrupt the romantic values that lived in Axel.

By the end of the week, the notes stopped.

Axel wouldn't stop walking beside him, though.

* * *

Disclaimer: Spork says no. 

A/N: (hides behind Moose) don't hurt me, please… It took me for-fucking-ever to find a title for this chapter. And the little italics at the beginning, that took me a good ten minutes to write, too. Usually, that's the first thing I write, but not this time. I didn't even know what song to use for this chapter, so I just wrote it out. _That's _why it sucks.

Hehe. I got around the rule my mom set up. She said my Quarter project had to be done by last Friday. _Oops_. I'm a sneaky little bitch, huh?

Oh, did anyone even notice that I use song titles as my chapter titles? I think it helps me stay on track, but it only helps if I have the song picked out BEFORE I start the chapter. Anyone care to guess who did the song I used for this one? The italics might be a hint, but from what I can tell, the group's not all that popular yet… I'm probably wrong, but w/e.

**To xXRyshieTwilightXx: the guessing game doesn't apply to you. And I really hate the xXXx around your name. **


	5. She Will Be Loved

She Will Be Loved

_He remembers the Blonde's features like it were yesterday._

_Pale skin._

_Wounded eyes._

_Broken smile._

_But, through it all, He always made sure the Blonde felt beautiful._

_Everyday, in the pouring rain, looking for that once-broken smile._

_He'd fix it every chance he could._

* * *

The alarm sang. Axel, having not slept well the past week, stuck his arm out from under the pillows and smacked around next to him. He hoped to hit that obnoxious clock, but his wrist connected with the corner of his nightstand, instead. He grunted, pulled his wrist back and gripped his throbbing joint.

The clock still didn't stop. Axel sighed and pulled his pillow over his head and put his wrist under his cheek, his other hand holding the pillow over his ears.

As of now, he really hated life.

He heard, over the screaming clock, his door open and soft footsteps step across his floor. The screaming stopped with a click- someone had turned his clock off. That same someone also sat down on his bed and rubbed his back.

"Didn't sleep well, huh?"

Axel shook his head under his pillow.

"Wanna stay home today?"

Another shake.

A sigh. "Better get up then, before Reno eats everything."

"'M not hungry," Axel mumbled.

"Too bad. Get up, get dressed, _eat something_, and make it snappy. Reno's gotta go to class at eight, so you can either catch a ride with him or walk, 'cause I have to get ready to work, and you're not going to be late." With that, the weight lifted from his bed and left the room.

Axel threw his covers off and dressed. He didn't care what he wore, though he dully noted that he was wearing mismatched colors. Like, faded black (almost gray)and really light brown or something weird like that. He threw his homework into his bag, then stared at a note that fell out of his calculus textbook. It had been written by his own hand, but completely ignored.

_What the __fuck__ is wrong?_

That was the only reason why Axel wanted to go to school. He wanted to understand why Roxas had been avoiding him- well, not really _avoiding_, more like refusing to communicate with him. The only thing that could be considered avoidance was that he went home pretty quickly after school.

What had Axel done that would make Roxas choose home over him? He'd gone over everything that he had done around Roxas last Tuesday ('cause Wednesday was when the avoidance started) but couldn't think of anything that might've offended the blonde.

In fact, Axel went out of his way to make sure that Roxas was okay with everything he did around him.

"Axel! It doesn't take this long for you to get dressed!" his mother called up the stairs. Axel took that as his cue to throw his bag over his shoulder and exit his room. He stopped in front of the mirror in the hallway and tried to push down the style his bed gave his hair, and succeeded in throwing it all back.

When he entered the kitchen, he found his older brother cleaning up his spot and his mom holding out a toast sandwich for him.

(Not to brag, but his mother made the _best_ toast sandwiches. Lots of butter and bacon and eggs. In Axel's opinion, it tasted like heaven on-the-go.)

"Go, get in the car," she ordered him. As he was leaving the kitchen, he heard his mother talking to Reno about something, but he couldn't make it out. He just continued out and turned his brother's car on while eating the toast. As he waited for Reno to come out of the house, he channel surfed for a bit.

"Damn, when did music get so crappy?" he muttered to himself. Everywhere he went, some pop singer was crying about how she can't have the guy she loves, or bitching out about her ex, or something stupid like that. He switched the radio off and sat back in his seat, staring at the ceiling.

One glance away from the ceiling, and Axel saw the sky.

_Just like his eyes…_

Oh, yes, Axel was in really deep now.

* * *

Reno stopped the car in front of the school at seven-fifty-five. Axel, before he was able to get his door opened, was stopped by a question.

"What the hell's wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Don't fucking 'what' me, Axel," Reno said, putting the car in park and facing his little brother. "Mom and me both can tell when something's wrong with you. You're either having a hard time with the courses- which I doubt- or with making friends. Which is it?"

Axel stayed silent, fiddling with his bag's strap. But, his attention was turned when a certain head of blonde hair came around a corner.

Unknowingly to him, he sighed, and looked back down to the strap.

"Oh," Reno said. "It's the friendship thing, huh?"

"I don't think he's ever had a friend before, Reno. I just tried my hardest, and at first it seemed like it was working, but he just started ignoring me last Wednesday," Axel said softly. A little louder, he continued, "And, it's hard because he doesn't talk. At first, I didn't care at all, but I just wish he'd tell me what I did wrong and-"

"What if it isn't something you did?"

Axel huffed. "What else could it be?"

Reno grabbed his shoulder as he tried to leave. "Axel, I'm not a psychology major for nothing. Look again, _look_ at how he's walking."

Axel rolled his eyes, but glanced again. He saw those cerulean eyes, pale skin, dark clothes- but not expensive- and messy blonde hair. "I don't see anything I didn't see when I first saw him."

He got a swift smack on the back of the head for that. "Don't even protest," Reno said as Axel opened his mouth to do just that. "Look at his posture, dumbass."

Again, Axel stared, but this time took in the teen's posture, as Reno suggested.

His eyes never left the ground. His back was hunched over a bit. His grip on his bag was just slightly shaky. His other hand hung limp at his side.

He looked sad.

"There, now you see what I see," Reno said, pushing Axel out of the car.

"Wait, so what do I do?" Axel called back in.

"I don't know- he's your friend, right?" Reno grinned at him as he shooed Axel away from his car.

Axel shifted his bag on his shoulder and went up the sidewalk to the front steps, next to Roxas. The blonde didn't seem to notice his presence at first.

But, as they entered the school, Axel held the door open for him and their eyes met. And, though he doubted himself a little, he could almost swear he saw a small smile sparkle in the azure eyes.

* * *

Axel decided to try writing another note to Roxas during calculus, despite the blonde's pervious ignoring attempts. When the teacher's back was turned toward the board, Axel set the note on his desk. He read through it with Roxas in his head.

_You looked sad this morning. What happened? Please don't blow this off- I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong._

He watched Roxas scribble a response, and sighed quietly. The defense has been broken!

_Nothing important happened. Don't worry about it. _The response came back.

Axel took a note down on implicit differentiation, then wrote back. _Why have you been avoiding me?_

He could see those blue eyes dim a little as they scanned the note. Roxas seemed to be fighting with himself, but he did write back. _Something happened that I can't 'tell' you about. I feared I might slip up if I wrote to you. Sorry._

Axel read the note, confused. _Will you tell me later?_

_Much later, if at all. It's something I need to accept first, then I'll work on telling you._

He looked over at Roxas, sitting so calmly at his desk, taking notes like a good student. Axel couldn't help but wonder what had happened; maybe his father had died? No, there would be something in the paper if that was it. And, surely Roxas would tell him if his father died… right?

The bell rang to end the class. Axel was starting to think that Roxas didn't trust him enough to tell him those things. That must be it. He walked next to Roxas as they went to their next class, wishing that he could do something to get the blonde to trust him.

At least, he was communicating with him.

* * *

They sat in the library during History, doing research for the topic they picked. Unfortunately,topics were literally picked out of a hat, so neither Axel nor Roxas got a topic they knew anything about. They tried trading as soon as they sat down at a table, but it still didn't help.

Both topics were current events. Who willingly keeps up with current events when they're still in high school?

As they leafed through various newspapers and magazines, someone else came and sat at their table.

"Hey Axel," Naminè said. The boys groaned under their breath, but Axel responded with a little hum of acknowledgement. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in trading topics; I know a little about my own topic, so I could help you with it if you wanted to trade."

Axel noted that her voice was sugar-laced, meant to make him fall for whatever sick trick she had up her sleeve to tear him away from Roxas. "I'm not really interested, Naminè. But, thanks for the offer," he said, turning back to his newspaper. He could see another smile gracing his blonde's face as she left the table.

Wait, _his_ blonde?

Axel took down a note, hoping that Roxas would write back. _Hang out w/ me after school? _

He watched discreetly as Roxas read the note and wrote something down in his notebook, then turned back to his note and wrote back.

_Meet me at the creek at 4:30._

Though Axel wondered why Roxas wanted to meet so late, he didn't pry, just nodded and went back to his history project.

Again, the bell sounded the end of the period, and the teacher reminded them that the essay was due by the end of the week. Axel helped Roxas throwtheir stuff together, and they walked to Gym.

He resisted every urge to grab the blonde's hand the entire way.

Gym passed without any confrontation, though Axel noticed that Roxas didn't change, or participate. _How does he pass gym without participation?_ Axel wondered.

After school he walked home, not bothering to wait for Roxas. He said 4:30, and Axel trusted Roxas enough to leave and know he'd be there. Though, that left an hour and a half to do nothing… or homework.

That could be done at the creek. Axel turned around and started for their spot. Yes, now he was calling it "their" spot; well, it's not like Roxas had ever taken anybody else to that spot. At least, Axel hoped that he was the first to know about the grassy bank under that tree.

He reached the place, and sat down to call his mom- she's one of _those_ moms. The kind that gets really worried if her children aren't home on time and don't call. Not that he minded much- it just got a little annoying with her calling every now and then to find out where he was. Even back in Radiant Garden, if he hung out with Zexion after school without at least texting Reno, come four o'clock his phone would be ringing.

Zexion would always tease him about his over-protective mother. But, he'd throw it back in his face, saying that it was better that his mother was over-protective rather than indifferent. Zexion could never say anything to top that, because his mother was just that- indifferent to whatever he did.

Axel closed his phone and thought for a moment about his old friend. Zexion was always the quiet one, just like Roxas (not as quiet, though). Axel could talk to Zexion about anything. Hell, his mom even said once that Zexion wasn't so much a friend as he was a long-lost cousin.

When Axel asked his mom why they were cousins instead of brothers, she just smiled and told him to look at his relationship with Reno and then ask again if he still didn't understand.

He couldn't see Zexion ever tackling him to wake up in the morning. Zexion was always still sleeping whenever Axel woke up.

They were always a little more than best friends, in a more family-like way. But, never fought the way that siblings did. Cousins sounded like a good comparison.

He had met Zexion through Reno, actually. They were in the same psyche class, and were working on a project together, so Reno brought home Zexion and he and Axel clicked. It was Zexion that first got Axel to join choir- Axel smirked at the memory.

Zexion had slept over because it had started to rain- Reno didn't drive yet, and their mother didn't like driving in the rain, so he had no way to get home. In the morning, Axel got up early to shower, and as always, started singing softly while doing his thing.

When he got out of the bathroom, he saw his brother's class partner sitting against the wall across from the door, and their eyes met.

"Are you in choir?" Zexion had asked.

Axel had scoffed. "No. I'm not that good."

"Yes, you are," Zexion said while standing up and poking him. "You are signing up for the class, or I'll sign you up myself and walk you to class."

Axel shook his head and sighed. "I'll join choir if you'll do it, emo."

They both had ended up in the class as tenors. The conductor had even given Axel solos because she loved the his voice. Zexion would just punch his arm and say, "Admit it, Pyro, you love me because I made you realize your true calling in life."

"Yes, of course, Emo. I love you and want to have hot, sweaty buttsex with you every fucking night."

"Don't call me emo, and stop saying shit like that. People will think-"

"Oh, God forbid people should think, Zexy!"

"Not that either."

Axel sighed. He wished Zexion was here. Zexion could advise him on this problem of Roxas- and sit with him during lunch so he didn't have to put up with the staring of Demyx's friends.

He grinned. Demyx and Zexion would be perfect together.

Flipping his phone open, he called home and left a message for his mom, telling her that he was waiting for a friend and would be home around five-thirty or earlier. He knew his mom wouldn't be home until four, but that she would first call for him, then check the answering machine. Then, of course, if he wasn't home by five-thirty, she'd call him and ask where he was, what he was doing, who he was with, stuff like that.

He dialed another number and waited.

"**Pyro! What the hell took you so long to call?"**

"Nice to talk to you too, Zexy-pie."

"**No, really, why have you been gone for almost a month and only now decide to talk to me?"**

"I have been meaning to call, but it's gotten to a point where I can't even talk to Reno about something."

"**Talk away, freak."**

"Well, you see Zex, there's this kid…"

* * *

After the enlightening chat with his old friend, he found out a few things about himself, and a few more about his dear long-lost cousin. For one, Demyx and Zexion wouldn't be hooking up anytime soon- Zexion got together with some other super quiet person named Lexaeus and they've been going strong for a whole week. Axel had congratulated Zexion, but told him that if they ever broke up, "there's another guy here whom we can convert into gaydom."

"I'm not gay. I'm bi," Zexion said, not even denying that he and "Lexy-bear" (dubbed by Axel) wouldn't be breaking up soon.

Another thing was that he was truly heads over heels for Roxas. Zexion had said so himself after Axel explained the past half-week to him. It wasn't good, Zexion had told him, because the way that Axel had described Roxas, the blonde was a case and a half in the mental department.

One thing that Zexion could tell by Axel's description was that Roxas was smart _and_ intelligent. When Axel asked the difference, Zexion hushed him and continued by saying that if they ever did get together, Roxas would instantly know if Axel had even _thought_ about cheating on him. That was smart. And the intelligent part? Roxas would also be able to figure out who Axel was thinking about cheating on him _with_.

Not that Axel had a history of cheating, or that the redhead would ever cheat, but even the thought that he would instantly be caught scared him a little.

There were other things that Zexion pointed out, but the one that stuck in Axel's head the most was the one that Zexion said as he was getting ready to hang up.

"You might want to be careful with him, too, Axel. He seems like he might have been abused as a child."

Abuse? How could Zexion tell? No way- Roxas was just incredibly shy. That's why he doesn't talk. Even Zexion had thought that Roxas was just mute before Axel told him that he wasn't.

But, really. Abuse? Of all bad things in this world, why did Zexion's mind go straight to abuse after muteness?

Axel didn't believe it.

Four-thirty crept upon him, and Roxas was not in sight. Axel decided that he'd wait until five before freaking out and starting to panic.

Luckily, such time never came. At four-forty, the mess of blonde hair settled down next to him, startling him out of a pre-panic haze. Axel smiled down at Roxas, and tried to get him to smile back.

His smile faded slowly when he noticed the tears backing up in those pretty blue eyes. "Roxas? Are you-? What's wrong?" He caught himself before saying "are you okay" because he knew from when he had to comfort Zexion that that was the stupidest thing to say in these situations.

Roxas just shook his head, but Axel noticed that he was clutching his stomach. Not in an "I'm going to be sick" kind of way, but in a "please don't come near me, I've been cursed by the Spawn of Evil and I'll end up infecting you, too, if you come too close."

Axel had gotten really good at reading body language after Zexion had once gone into a silent lapse during last year that lasted almost three months.

"Roxas, lemme see," Axel said in his softest voice possible. If there was one thing he didn't want to do, it was scare his angel away.

His eyes shut and blonde hair shook back and forth in a silent plea to stop pressing the subject.

"Are you scared of me?"

Roxas stilled. He reached into Axel's bag and pulled out a paper and pen and began to write.

_I've never been scared of you._

"Then why don't you talk to me?"

_I have nothing to say._

There were teardrops on the paper, Axel noticed. "I'm sure you have something to say; Everyone does."

_Not me. But, I promise, when I have something to say, you'll be the first one to hear it._

Axel felt flattered, but that didn't dissolve his worry any. "Roxas, what happened to your face?" He said as he leaned over to get a closer look.

The normally pale skin was red around his cheeks- maybe from crying?- and there was a large slice above his left eyebrow. The eye on the same side was starting to swell a little, like it was punched once or twice, but not more than that. It seemed like whatever happened could have been worse, but it was stopped abruptly.

Like, someone had beaten him, then stopped when they realized that other people could see his face.

Roxas pulled on his bangs so they covered the cut above his eye, but that didn't do anything for the rest of his face or his eye. Axel moved to push his hands away so he could get a better look at the damage, but Roxas just turned away.

"Roxas, let me see your face!" Axel said, starting to get frustrated. When the blonde still didn't give in, he was tackled and held down by Axel's stronger hands. While Axel kneeled over the petit body, he noticed a look of pure terror flash through Roxas' eyes, and he began to really think about what Zexion had said.

Axel leaned back and brushed the placed bangs away so he could inspect the cut. Roxas flinched under him when he applied a gentle amount of pressure to the area surrounding the slice and down the tear-trails on his cheeks.

He felt very proud when he resisted kissing Roxas right then.

"My mom has a good first-aid kit, if you'd like, I can patch that up real quick," Axel offered.

Why was he not surprised when Roxas shook his head?

Exasperated, Axel lifted himself off of Roxas, unintentionally lifting the boy's shirt enough to see more purple spots all over his midsection. Just as Roxas was lifting his head off the ground, Axel's hand on his stomach stopped him from moving at all.

Axel was horrified, as he lift more of his shirt and saw just more bruises. His hands started to shake as he lost all words he previously had ready to consult the blonde that his face was something that would heal in a few days or less.

But this? These bruises and marks were not recent, and they most definitely were not accidental. He knew that there are two places that, if bruised, were potentially fatal. He wasn't sure if it was there, but the bruise was still a gross, green-purple color.

The thing was, that there were two spots that were left untouched. Just under his ribcage on his right side, and about a hand's width down from his ribs on the left side. _Those must be the fatal spots_, Axel mused, passing his shaky hand over the once-pale skin. Other than those two spots, the rest of his midsection was purple, green, with little slivers of pale white sticking out here and there.

Whoever did this did not want to kill him, just put him through an excruciating amount of pain.

Axel swallowed hard. "What… who…did this… to you?" he whispered, looking up at those blue eyes that were filled with fear- and hurt, though Axel couldn't place why the hurt was there. Maybe, he was invading Roxas' privacy like this?

Was this why he didn't change for gym? Because he didn't want to show the world these bruises, these markings, these signs that his life wasn't as quiet as he is?

Roxas pulled his shirt down and rolled away from Axel. He was only an arm's length, but that movement away from him made Axel feel like Roxas had slapped him and ran away. He nudged the paper and pen toward the blonde, wishing with everything he had that Roxas would answer his question.

The paper was taken and written on, then Roxas got up and walked away.

It read:

_Axel, I told you I have nothing to say. When I have something to say, you'll be the first to hear, I promise. But, since this is nothing you need to worry yourself about, please accept this excuse and ask no more questions: I fell down my stairs a couple times. There's no light for that stairway, and I often trip both ways because the stairs are uneven._

Bull-fucking-shit.

Axel stood up and went in the direction that Roxas left, grabbing his bag and stuffing the paper in it as he walked.

He caught sight of the blonde soon, and followed at a distance. He was going to find out about his home life, now, and then tell Zexion later.

He saw Roxas go around the back of a house, and considered following him, but instead went up to the front door and knocked three times, then backed away from the door a little.

In truth, he was scared of what would greet him.

The door was opened by a woman in her late thirties, early forties, with shoulder-length brown hair. Honestly, Axel thought her a pretty attractive woman- for a woman, of course. She looked him up and down, and then asked, "May I help you?" She had a dazzling smile.

He put on the most charming smile he could in the given situation. This woman might be hurting Roxas. She deserved nothing from him- especially not politeness. "Perhaps you could. I'm looking for Roxas, and I heard he lives here. Is he home?"

"I'm sorry, dear, but Roxas has been grounded. No visitors. But, I'll tell him you stopped by; You can catch up in school tomorrow, hmm?" She said. He noticed how her smile faltered as soon as he said Roxas' name, and how she hesitated ever-so-slightly while saying the same.

However much he already didn't like this woman, Axel nodded. "Yeah, tomorrow. If it's not too much trouble, could you also tell him we have to finish what we were talking about this afternoon? He'll understand."

"Of course, dear, and… what's your name?"

"Axel. Axel Feuer."

"I'm Lydia," she stuck out a hand with another smile and he shook it. "Roxas' stepmother. It's nice to meet you."

"Yes, nice to meet you, too. I'd better be going… my mother might get worried that I'm just out and about with nowhere to really be," Axel said, turning back down the walkway.

He felt her eyes on him the entire way, and he knew that this monster, this _Lydia_, was why Roxas didn't talk. And, he felt a deep hatred for her, for what he knew she did to Roxas.

Correction.

_His_ Roxas.

* * *

Disclaimer: The spork says "YES!" But I say no. 'Cause I don't wanna own it.

A/N: hehe… page-wise, it's 33 percent longer than chapters 1 and 2 and 300 percent longer than chapters 3 and 4. I feel like I accomplished something. Yay. Especially because I did this whole thing without Moose next to me. Of course, s/he was there while I slept, so I was inspired when I woke up from various naps, like the one I took today (3/16) that lasted for _three hours_ (I was like, "holy crap, I slept for three fucking hours! And I'm still tired!"). I went back to sleep for another 1 ½ hours, and then typed until 11:00 pm.

I have a question. Does it sound monotonous? I can never tell, but my brother says it could use some different sentence structures here and there, so I've been experimenting, but I don't know if it did anything. Help, please?


	6. Savin' Me

Savin' Me

_Is he even worth all the trouble?_

_he's weak._

_he's useless._

_he's a liar._

_Why does He bother? Why does He care?_

_Didn't He understand that he wasn't worth saving?_

* * *

The blonde closed its eyes as a sharp kick connected with its left thigh. A quiet whimper that came from its throat did not go unnoticed, and another kick left the body shaking in pain as the legs stepped away from it.

Granted, this wasn't the worst that the body had had to endure, but it ranked pretty close to the top.

Roxas watched as Lydia threw back her hair and took off the boots she had borrowed from Clyde's closet; She slipped back into her own designer heels. She wore a white and pink sundress, which made her light brown hair stand out in a display of spring colors (it can be dully noted that, though it was warm, it was now autumn, and sundresses were _sooo_ out of fashion). Her face was flushed, and Roxas heard her mutter that she'd have to put more deodorant on.

Then, she turned to where his body still lay on the floor in the corner. "Next time," Lydia said, "warn me when you decide to disobey me and sneak out." With her heels tapping against the cement floor, Roxas watched her go up the stairs and disappear from his line of sight.

He inched himself up the wall, leaning heavily against it and supporting most of his weight on his right leg. Panting, he hobbled to the couch and propped his leg on the opposite armrest, then explored his face to find out if there were any marks he'd have to tend to. The slice from earlier- the one Axel saw- was now throbbing, probably reopened.

Yes, it was; Roxas swiped across it and felt blood run off onto his fingers. _I really should go wash this off, _he thought, but his leg held him back. Instead, he just wiped the blood on his pants (they were black, no one would notice) and found a sock on the floor. He spit on the sock and carefully placed it on his cut.

He figured, because the throbbing was isolated to just that one spot, save the slight bruise he knew would apear on his left eye by morning, that the rest of his face must be fine. So, Roxas just pressed down on the sock above his eye gently.

He shouldn't have gone to meet Axel. Now that the redhead had met Lydia, what was there to stop her from hurting him, too? If anything ever happened to Axel, Roxas knew he wouldn't be able to forgive himself, ever again. It would be all his fault, for not pushing Axel away like he had to for Hayner, Pence, and Olette's sake.

She really did control his life.

When she first told him she'd hit him if he was home after three o'clock, Roxas did so because he didn't understand what she really wanted. This destroyed the hang-out time he had with them after school- but he always walked home with Hayner, because the other blonde lived down the street from him.

Then, she told him to get a weekend job. In seventh grade. He ended up mowing lawns in the spring and summer, raking leaves in the fall, and shoveling driveways in the winter (though, that hardly ever happened, as snow was rare in Twilight Town). This, though, didn't stop his friends- they helped him with everything.

She then went to the school and made them change his schedule around so none of his classes were with any of his friends. They still had weekends, and lunch time (the school couldn't do anything about lunch time).

But when she sat Roxas on the couch and told him very calmly that if she saw them together, or heard him talking about them ever again, she'd see to it that the mentioned one would meet a very unfortunate circumstance that could very well lead to their death, Roxas avoided all three of them like he had fought with them over their mothers. It killed him to see them- especially Hayner- so upset that Roxas didn't want to hang out with them anymore and not being able to tell them it wasn't really his choice.

Lydia went out of her way to make Roxas' life close to intolerable. And, there were times when he seriously considered ending it.

She must have noticed, because for his birthday at the beginning of last summer, she gave him a beautiful, sharp pocketknife, with a note attached. _"Don't forget, Roxas. Up the street, not across the road."_ He had stared at her for a moment, stared at her smiling like she had gotten him exactly what he had wanted, and then put the knife away and thanked her shakily.

He had thrown the knife over the edge of the Twilight Dam within the week.

It seemed, to him, that she really thought she was being a good mother-figure. She really thought that taking away his only friends would help somehow. She really thought that giving her step-son a knife and directions on how to properly cut his wrists is what all mothers do.

And, it seemed to Roxas, that she really, truly believed, that getting it in his head that everything he ever said was stupid and unnecessary to be heard would save him from wasting his breath.

She believed that by screaming at him to shut up all the time, that Roxas would get the point that no one wanted to be contradicted, and to keep his opinions to himself.

Roxas didn't know much about mothers, but he knew that whatever Lydia said or did, she did, not because she loved him; No, quite the opposite. Everything Lydia said or did, she did because she really, truly hated him.

The door at the top of the stairs creaked open, and Roxas recognized the heavy steps of the Spawn. He had half a mind to run out of the house, away from these people he was legally supposed to call his stepmother and stepbrother. But the walls of the basement closed in on him, taunting him, yelling at him that one can never escape the pressing force, the choking bonds, that are family.

There was also his leg, of course, that still refused to carry his weight.

Clyde looked him square in the eyes, and Roxas felt his heart beat faster with fear. The older teen sighed from his place at Roxas' feet, then went into the laundry/bathroom and came back out with a wet washcloth. Clyde sat on the edge of the couch and pulled Roxas' sock off his forehead, then dabbed at the cut with the cloth he still carried in his hand.

Roxas' fingers twitched, waiting for the Spawn to make his move and attack him while he was weak.

"Mom told me to clean you up a bit. She's pretty stupid to have made such a big mess in the first place- one cut is enough to arouse suspicion," Clyde murmured. "What else did she do to you?" Roxas saw Clyde's face soften, and he relaxed.

This was the Clyde he had been introduced to before the insults started, before the beatings, before Lydia and Dad were married. Roxas motioned to his left leg and, when Clyde asked him to, removed his pants so his stepbrother could see what Lydia did.

This was the same Clyde that had half-carried him home once because he had sprained his ankle on the playground back in fifth grade. This Clyde had stayed home with him whenever he was sick and played board and card games with him. This Clyde had played tag and hide-and-seek and catch with him.

And, as vulnerable as Roxas was right now, with a caring Clyde next to him, instead of the Spawn of Lydia's hate, Roxas could relax and let him be the Clyde Roxas knew was always there, but always just out of his reach. Roxas knew that Clyde wouldn't hurt him- not tonight, at least.

Clyde finished applying more cold washcloths to his leg (he didn't want to go back upstairs to get ice, and told Roxas that really cold water did the same thing, anyway) and threw all of them in the laundry basket. It took a good half hour for the swelling to go down even a little, and the entire time, Clyde had been going back and forth from the sink to Roxas, changing the cloth to keep it cold. After the half hour, though, Clyde gave up and went upstairs and got an icepack and told Roxas to sleep with his left side down, so the ice wouldn't have the chance to fall off in his sleep.

Roxas pulled his pants up and closed his eyes. He felt the weight of his stepbrother leave the couch. For the first time in four years, Roxas was calm around Clyde. The thin blanket fell over his body (Clyde's doing, he surmised) and then heard muttering about how cold it was down here.

Through his eyelids, Roxas saw the lights turn out, and he smiled to himself before he fell asleep.

The heater creaked and kicked and sputtered before turning over and warming the basement for the first time, ever.

* * *

Though Roxas went to school with his hood up to cover the cut above his eyebrow, and a slight limp to favor his left leg, he couldn't help the so-tiny-it's-almost-invisible smile that wouldn't leave his face. Last night, with Clyde, made him happy; there was still some good in his stepbrother, however difficult it is to find.

Axel bugged him with notes about a grounding he didn't know about, and he ignored all these notes, changing the subject to a game of questions; Roxas asked one question about something that Axel liked or disliked, and then Axel answered, then Axel asked a similar question, and Roxas answered. Until Axel broke the rules and mentioned the grounding again. Then, all note passing would cease until Axel asked an acceptable question.

Axel pulled him aside before choir, putting a pad of paper and a pen into his hand and said, "Please, Roxas, tell me why you were grounded."

_I understand that Lydia told you I'm grounded, but she really didn't tell me about it. If I am, I'll find out this afternoon, and I'll find out why, and I'll tell you tomorrow, okay? Stop bugging me, please._

Axel nodded with an amused smile, and held the door open for Roxas to enter the music room. Roxas took his place at the piano (which, dully noted, was _always_ out of tune) while Axel stood next to Demyx at the back of the tenor section. Roxas saw Axel conversing with the other teen, and felt so happy that Axel had such a good friend… that wasn't him.

Roxas knew Demyx from back in elementary school, but as with his other friends, Lydia had caused them to fall apart. There were a few times in eighth grade when Demyx would find him in the bathroom and would ask how he was doing, to which Roxas always responded that he was fine, and left it at that. Demyx wasn't one of the friends that Lydia threatened him with, or even knew about, but Roxas knew by then that taking chances was never in his, or his friend's, best interest.

When Demyx stopped talking to him, Roxas finally conceded to stop talking altogether. He really had no further reason _to_ talk.

The class passed uneventfully- that is, if you don't count Axel and Demyx purposefully singing sharp the entire time and not singing the correct intervals. Their conductor had commented that, yes, their voices were beautiful, but they really needed to read the music and sing what was written. "In the right key, if you two would," she added before asking Roxas to play the tenor part for the two.

Roxas played it the way they had sang it, in their key, and Mrs. Meredith let the class out early. She complained that she was simply too tired to keep both the choir _and _the accompanist in line.

Axel said good-bye to Demyx as they parted, leaving the music wing. Demyx went down the hallway, while Roxas and Axel were going to go the opposite direction. Demyx waved back over his shoulder, and Roxas waved to the retreating older blonde. He was startled when Axel called out, "Roxas says bye, too, Demyx!"

Demyx turned around and flashed a sad smile at him, waving again.

* * *

Axel had told him, during Physics, that he was going to walk Roxas home today, even against Roxas' previous protests. So, in a comfortable silence, Axel walked next to him all the way to the start of his block.

But, of course, this was Axel, and Roxas had learned quickly that the redhead really had a hard time going so long without talking.

"Roxas what would you do if I got you out of that house for tonight?" Axel asked.

He slowed down his pace. That was something he really had to think about. What _would _he do? He wouldn't know whether to be happy or scared. Would whatever Axel had in mind even work? Roxas eventually stopped altogether and watched Axel turn around and face him. "Well?"

He looked up, into those emerald green eyes, and it came to him. Yes, that was exactly what he would do. Adverting his eyes briefly, he opened his mouth and moved his lips.

_This._

Roxas saw Axel's eyes widen at his (failed) attempt at talking. Then, when he made his move, those eyes widened even more- anymore and they would surely fall out. Axel's cheeks stained with a bright blush, and then he pulled Roxas along by his wrist and up the walkway to stand in front of the door. He pressed the doorbell.

When Lydia opened the door, though, Roxas seriously regretted letting Axel do this. Roxas stood a little to the side of his taller friend, gripping Axel's shirt with his left hand. She glared at him briefly before turning her eyes on Axel. Roxas saw her eyes soften before she talked.

"Axel Feuer, right?"

"Yeah," Axel responded. "I was wondering if I could steal Roxas away for the night." Lydia's eyes narrowed and Roxas almost whimpered- she was angry.

_You'd better have a good excuse, Axel, _Roxas thought.

"Now," her eyes regained their normal size, "why would you want to do that, Mr. Feuer?"

"We were assigned another project by our history teacher- he's evil, I tell you," Axel said, a charming smile visible from the side. It must be forced just for Lydia. "And, like the evil man he is, he won't give us any time in class to work on it. So, tonight would be a great night for us to get it done, if you're okay with him staying the night at my place."

_For a spontaneous excuse,_ Roxas thought, _that wasn't half bad. Almost believable._

Lydia seemed to be thinking about it. Axel looked down at him and smiled. Roxas tightened his grip on the redhead's shirt a little, sending a tiny smile back.

He was _so_ ready to do it again.

"Fine," Lydia said. "But, don't bother bringing him back until Saturday afternoon." She looked at Roxas, and continued, "We'll be remodeling your room while you're gone, okay?" Lydia gave him that crazy smile that he knew meant that she was going to make him pay for leaving her, then said more, "Oh, could you go around, Roxas? I just vacuumed and you're shoes are probably filthy," then she closed the door.

He had a feeling she was going to make an excuse for him to go around. Axel would get suspicious if he didn't hear a reason. He sighed, then led Axel around the side of the house, to the sliding glass door to his room. He motioned for Axel to stay outside while he went inside and got some clothes for the next few days. Axel nodded, understanding his mute signs.

As he left to go inside, he noticed that Axel was obviously itching to receive his prize for saving Roxas from a half-week of family time. And, of course, Roxas was more than willing to pay Axel his prize, and he felt very happy; But when his eyes fell on the couch in the middle of his room, his happiness dissipated.

If Lydia was going to remodel his room, what will happen to that couch? Would she throw it out? Burn it? Corrupt its innocence by fucking some guy on it?

He sighed. Whatever she did, Roxas knew he'd just have to live with it. Maybe, he could stuff one of the pillows in his bag, to save a little piece of it? No. No, he had to move on. Dad was never coming back for him, and the longer he held onto that couch, the harder it'll be to move on from this life.

Roxas brushed his hand across the fabric of the couch, and flinched when a hand rested on his shoulder. _Axel, _he mouthed, relaxing again. He picked up bag and stuffed one last thing in it- the thin gray blanket. Axel chuckled at him, but a playful glare from Roxas shut him up. Axel pulled out his phone and took a picture of him glaring. Roxas smiled as Axel then turned the camera on the couch and snapped another picture.

Roxas didn't flinch when Axel draped an arm across his shoulders and guided them out of the basement after getting the okay that Roxas had everything he needed. Axel led them away from the house, and Roxas wondered if he would have to go back on Saturday, or if Axel would "steal him away" again and keep him at his home.

When they were a good distance away from the house, Roxas stopped them and gave Axel his prize for saving him.

Of course, to reach the redhead's cheek, Roxas had to pull on his neck a little and stand on his toes. When Roxas pressed his lips to Axel's cheek, the flesh flushed red again, even though Roxas meant nothing more by it except the thank-you he was physically incapable of verbally saying at this time.

* * *

Disclaimer: (duh) this is kinda getting old, honestly…

A/N: After three different drafts, the chapter Six-o (my poor attempt at a foreign language...) is done and up. YAY! Moose helped, It gets some credit, too. Hmm… I was going to say something else…

Oh, yeah, the teachers in this story are all based on my own high school teachers- except that Mrs. Meredith would never let us out of choir early, and we don't have a classroom accompanist. (tear.) Also, the piano that doesn't tune, that's real, too. The question game was made up by my ex-boyfriend and me before we started dating. And, the cold water thing with the bruising, that does work if ice is not available, as long as the cloth is changed constantly.

Yeah, the italics don't really go with the chapter, but they're becoming harder and harder to word, and I don't really want to stop them because I like them… kinda…

A quick review response:

**The Mad Empty Shell**: Thanks for reviewing, anonymous or not. And, yes, I noticed that they were moving a little too fast, but I think of it like this: in a sense, Roxas used to be a really happy kid, all the time (maybe I haven't explained his past enough to get this point across- I'll make it a point to tell his life story at some part in the story) but had to cover up that old happy self for a more cautious personality. But, when Axel came along, (maybe I didn't explain this either, and I'm sooo sorry if I didn't make it clear enough) Roxas saw a way to become who he was before, to be happy again, but he's being torn between the need to be cautious and the want to be happy. Does that help any? I'm sorry I wasn't clear, and I promise to make it a point in my next Roxas-centered chapter to explain the second part, and I will eventually have Roxas explain about the happy times he had with his dad before Lydia.


	7. Just You 'N' Me

Just You 'N' Me

_Sometimes, it was weird, how he could be so happy when all he's known..._

_is Hurt..._

_or Pain..._

_even Indifference..._

_But for now, with it being just them, together- hopefully forever-_

_He's never seen the blonde smile so much._

* * *

All the way home, Axel was giddy. Yes, he knew that Roxas was only expressing appreciation- that didn't change the fact that the blonde kissed him. Granted, it was only on the cheek, and Axel would have wanted it a little closer to his mouth, but he was content with what he got. He opened the door for Roxas, letting the blonde in first.

Axel gently told Roxas to take off his shoes while taking his off and waiting for Roxas to do the same. Their shoes stayed on the shoe tray- Axel watched while Roxas spun around and looked at the interior of the house. Sure, they were only in the downstairs hallway, but Roxas was acting as though this was his first time in someone else's home.

He motioned for the living room, and Axel nodded. He mused at how he knew what Roxas wanted- the blonde went into the room and looked around, his eyes sparkling and his mouth gaping open. Chuckling, Axel went up behind him and whispered for him to close his mouth- he wasn't a fish out of water, right? Roxas just blushed cutely and closed his mouth, but went back to looking around.

The blonde gravitated toward the family photos sitting on the top of the entertainment center. Axel watched as he stood on his toes to see the pictures, smiling at the childish curiosity he was displaying. He looked back and waved Axel over, which the redhead was compliant with. When Roxas pointed to a picture, Axel explained who was in it, where it was taken, and what was happening in each.

"This is just a family portrait that we had taken in a professional studio when I was, like, four. That's my older brother, Reno, and my Mom," Axel said, pointing to both of them. "I was still pulling hair then, and Reno was having a fit- thus, the pout." Roxas nodded, but still looked confused.

He pointed to the last figure in the picture- the one whose head is covered with black electrical tape. Axel stated that it didn't matter whom that is, just that he was- no, _is_- a douchebag. Roxas seemed to get the hint, and pointed to another picture, taken at a beach somewhere.

"That's me and Mom at Destiny Islands when I was... uh... I think seven. I was determined to make her a mermaid, so I covered her in sand and shaped it to look like fins. Mom had some other person take the picture because she didn't trust Reno with her camera- he had broken her last one not a month before," Axel explained, smiling again.

Roxas got a pen out and wrote on his hand. _Can I wander around the house a little?_

"Sure, just don't open any closed doors, okay?" Axel said. "I'll be right here when you're done exploring."

When the blonde left, Axel sat on the window seat overlooking the front yard. The curtains were sheer, so it was hard to see inside, but allowed for a good enough view of the street from there. Axel had decided when they moved here that this was his favorite spot in the whole house- mostly because it was comfy, but that really was beside the point.

It really reminded him of the apartment back in Radiant Garden. There was one window back there that had a window seat similar to this one; though, the old one smelled like cigarettes and caramel. This one was just clean, and didn't smell like anything, really, yet. Or, maybe, he just doesn't smell it.

_I wonder what Roxas thinks it smells like..._

Shaking his head, he got up briefly to get his backpack, then sat back at the window and started on Calculus. _Derivative of x-squared is... uh... dammit, I should know this!_ Derivatives were old work- his teacher expected them to be able to rattle these off in a snap.

_X-squared. Derivative of X- hey, there's an "x" in "Roxas"_

Axel hit his head with his Calc notebook. He wrote down 2x, hoping he got it right, and continued down the list of things he was supposed to take the derivative of. Halfway down the list, he stopped- light footsteps were making their way back down the stairs.

He made a feeble attempt to smile. What was there left to smile at? Currently- and he knew it- he was obsessing so much over Roxas that he couldn't even do _calculus_ without thinking about him. You know you have it bad for someone when you think about them while doing calculus.

The blonde sat down on the window seat, across from him. Axel stared when he knew that Roxas wasn't looking. Sometimes, they would both look at each other and it was like their gazes were two fish lines that became caught on each other. Even though they each pulled and pulled, they knew unless someone came through with scissors, they wouldn't be pulling free anytime soon.

Unfortunately, someone with scissors did come along. "Axel, you home?" A voice called out while the front door opened. Axel looked out into the hallway, as did Roxas.

A young-looking woman stood in the doorway to the living room, looking at them both. She had short red hair- like Axel's- that rolled over her shoulders in waves. She had curves in all the right places, but wasn't super-model curvy- a realistic kind of woman.

"Hey, Mom," Axel said, smiling a little at her.

She walked over to the two, narrowing her eyes at Roxas. "Who's this, Ax? New boyfriend?"

Roxas blushed brightly while Axel slapped his head. He had yet to _tell_ Roxas that he swung that way, and certainly didn't want his mother to be the one to tell the blonde of his orientation. "No, _Mom_, this is Roxas- just a good_ friend_ from school. He's staying the rest of the week because his stepbrother is in the hospital and his step-mom doesn't want him home alone for so long," Axel lied. Roxas wouldn't look at him, but played the depressed teen part very well. _I don't think Roxas likes it when I lie for him..._ Axel thought, thinking back to earlier when he had lied a way for Roxas to stay with him against Lydia.

He knew, for sure, though, that his own Mom- though she would seem like she bought it right now- would be asking for the truth later.

As he thought, his mom pretended to buy the lie. "Oh, really? What's wrong with your stepbrother?" she asked.

Roxas shrugged. "He doesn't know," Axel translated. "The doctors aren't sure yet." Damn, this lie was getting big.

"Well, honey, you stay as long as you need to, alright?" she smiled at Roxas. "And, you don't need to be shy; if you need anything, just call me, okay? And, don't call me 'Ms. Feuer' please. I prefer Val," she continued, moving away. "What do you two want for dinner?"

Axel didn't get the chance to tell her that Roxas just straight out didn't talk. He sighed. "What do you want, Rox?"

* * *

After an amazing meal of scrounged leftovers (and a small food fight between Val and Roxas concerning cold mixed vegetables and half-warm chicken), the three of them sat in the living room and watched a movie. Axel let his mom pick since he was too lazy to do so, and Roxas didn't care what they watched. After she finished shifting her weight from one leg to the other, looking through movie cases and thinking, she settled on putting in one of the Matrix movies. Axel wasn't sure if it was the second or the third one, as he wasn't really focused on that- Roxas sat right next to him throughout most of the movie, his legs curled underneath him and his knee touching his thigh. Every second of the movie, Axel was begging for _something_ to make Roxas move away before he completely looses his head.

A small tap on his shoulder, he looked over at Roxas. Those blue eyes smiled at him, made a motion for a drink, then he got up and left the room. Axel sighed when he got out, then noticed that his mom had turned up the volume a little. She looked over at him and asked quietly: "What's the deal with him?"

Axel responded in a whisper, too, "He doesn't talk and doesn't like his family. I got him to stay with us the rest of the week, if that's alright with you?"

His Mom nodded, then went back to watching the movie.

Cue interruption. The front door opened, and Reno seriously squeaked. "Holy FUCK!! Mom, there's an _angel_ in the house!!" There was a gasp and Reno ran into the living room with his arms around Roxas's middle.

_His arms... are around... Roxas,_ Axel thought, feeling his temper rise.

"Mom, can we keep him? Please, please, please, please, _PLEASE??_" Reno said, hugging Roxas tighter. Axel narrowed his eyes and breathed deeply- he would not get angry, he would not get angry, he would not-

"What the fuck, Reno, put him down!!" Axel stood up, seeing Reno start to swing Roxas around after Mom said he could have whatever the fuck he wanted as long as he got out of her view of Keanu Reeves. Axel grabbed Roxas's arm and pulled him away from his older brother.

Then they fell back onto the couch. Roxas landed in Axel's lap. Axel, effectively, blushed to match his hair and gently let Roxas slide off of him. Reno just laughed and started talking with Val about his classes that day.

Axel felt an awkwardness cloud settle over him and Roxas. And he did _not_ like it. He fidgeted and shifted, trying to find a way to sit next to Roxas without feeling like he needed to do something. When Roxas yawned cutely, a loosely cosed fist coming up to cover it, Axel saw his chance to break through. "Tired?" he whispered. Roxas nodded. Axel lifted his arm and put it around Roxas's shoulders, pulling the blonde to his side. Roxas rested his head on the shoulder provided to him and closed his eyes.

The Awkwardness Cloud effectively dissipated.

The movie kept playing, and soon was replaced by another. Axel had a hard time keeping his own eyes open, and soon gently lifted Roxas up enough so he could lay down on the couch, then put him back against his side. The blonde shifted and settled down on his chest, sighing in his sleep and tucking his head under Axel's chin. Axel draped his arm around the tiny waist, put the other behind his head, and heard Reno and his mom talking about a photo opportunity before falling asleep.

* * *

"_What do you think of them, Reno?"_

"_I think they're already falling for each other, but neither of them want to admit it."_

"_I wouldn't doubt that Axel already knows he's falling, Reno."_

"_Yeah, whatever, Mom. It doesn't mean a thing if Blondie doesn't know he's falling for Axel."_

"_Huh?"_

"_You're hopeless, you know that?"_

"_Yeah, and you can be a jerk sometimes. Put a blanket over them before you go to bed, okay?"_

"_Fine."_

* * *

When Axel woke up the next morning, all he could think was, W_here the Hell did my sanity go?_ He felt a light weight on his chest, and knew immediately that it was Roxas. How much did that kid _not_ eat? He also felt- _oh, dammit_- bare skin under his hand; was he a sleep-molester? He'd never slept next to anyone before, so he didn't know, but he hoped he hadn't done anything to Roxas.

Luckily, when he checked, Roxas was still asleep. If he had sleep-molested the blonde, surely he'd have woken up? He waited for a few minutes, letting the blonde sleep, but then he couldn't wait any longer. "Roxas," he whispered, "wake up." He ran his fingertips across the bare skin on Roxas's lower back, and felt a shiver run through the blonde's body; Roxas gripped at Axel's shirt and nuzzled closer to him. Axel kept stroking the skin under his hand, looking out an east-side window.

The sunrise was bright and orange. Ooh, Ahh. Amazing.

Roxas lifted himself up off Axel's chest, and scurried back to the other side of the couch, curling up and gripping at his chest- like he couldn't breathe. Axel sat up and watched while Roxas caught his breath, concerned and a little disappointed. As much as he knew it was a stupid wish, he had hoped that Roxas would wake up and just lay there with him.

_So much for dreams, right?_

"You okay, Roxas?" Axel asked. The blonde nodded quickly, not looking at him. Axel sighed. "I'm sorry, it just kinda, happened... and-"

Roxas shook his head and grabbed a pen off the coffee table. He went over and sat next to Axel- careful not to touch him, though- and wrote on his own arm.

First, he wrote the word _surprised_ and circled it.

Then, he wrote _startled_ and circled this, too.

Finally, he wrote _uncomfortable_ and circled it, but then put a slash through it.

He put the pen back on the table and leaned back, still not making eye contact; but Axel could see a blush staining his cheeks a light pink. Axel sighed, then voiced a translation, to make sure he got it right. "So, waking up with me startled you, but otherwise, you were comfy right where you were?"

Roxas nodded.

"So, then we're okay? It was just a passing thing; we were both super tired and were warmer sleeping next to each other," Axel continued, wishing that his words were not true. He wished so hard that Roxas would just turn to him and say something romantic, like, _"No, Axel, it was not just a passing thing- can't we go back to that position and just stay like that?"_

But, Roxas wasn't a romantic kind of guy, and Axel honestly couldn't see him saying something like that even if he _did_ talk. Instead of the romantic response, Axel got a slow nod from Roxas, like he wasn't too sure about it himself. Were they okay? Or would this eventually escalate into something bigger?

Would Roxas care if Axel let it escalate?

Axel yawned. Thinking was not a smart activity for a recently woken up mind. "You want a shower, Rox?"

Roxas looked at him like he had two heads. It was really cute. Axel laughed, Roxas turned away and pouted. That was even cuter.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Axel said after he stopped laughing. Roxas nodded a little, and Axel stood up and led the way to the bathroom. "Towels are under the sink, feel free to use whatever is in there, and I'll have breakfast done for when you get out," Axel said, then stopped Roxas and asked, "Do you like eggs?"

Roxas nodded slowly, but was smiling.

"Okay, I can make them any style as long as it's over-easy, sunny side up, or scrambled," Axel said, putting one, two, and three fingers up for each of the styles Roxas could order.

Roxas put one finger up.

"Over-easy, it is then. How about toast?" Roxas nodded, then turned to the bathroom to shower.

While Axel cooked their eggs, he couldn't help but wonder what Roxas looked like all wet.

_Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!_

* * *

The ride to school was quiet- but comfortable for the two. Reno, however, was not used to the silence, and kept trying to get Axel to talk to him about various topics. Axel would just smile and not answer, looking in his mirror back at Roxas while pretending to fix his hair. When he pulled up to the curb of the school, he shoved his little brother out of the car. Roxas covered his mouth, but was laughing silently at Axel sitting on the ground in a heap.

"Next time you decide to take a silent lapse, _tell me_ dammit!!" Reno said, then drove away.

Axel stood up, flipped the retreating car off, then walked with Roxas up the walkway of the school. They were sitting on the stone steps, waiting for the doors to be opened, when a certain blonde came over to them, followed by her posse.

"Hi, Axel," Naminè said, standing in front of the boys.

Axel nodded to her. "Hello," he said, politely. He noticed that Roxas was shifting away from him a little, and he grabbed the boy by his shoulders and held him still. He whispered to Roxas, "Hey, if you're not comfortable around her, I'll tell her to leave."

Roxas wrote on a notebook that he had in his arm, _You can make her go away?_ He had a hopeful look in his eyes, and Axel knew that, yes, he could do anything to make Roxas happy. He nodded to Roxas, and Roxas smiled, looking down. Axel took this as his own cue, and turned to Naminè.

"I'm sorry, Naminè, but we have to go see a teacher real quick," Axel said, standing up and offering his hand to Roxas. Roxas took the outstretched hand and stood up, too; then, they both went into the school, saying they needed to see a teacher before class started.

Axel noticed that Roxas looked back at Naminè and her gaggle of girls before going in. It was like, he wished they wouldn't talk about him like they did. Axel had a feeling that, before Roxas went silent, he and Naminè might have been really good friends.

Now the question was: What made them slit up?

And a more pressing question for Axel: Was Roxas interested in her?

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own KH, KH2, KH-CoM, or rights to the Matrix movies. _Damn_, I wish I owned Keanu Reeves, though- that is one mighty fine man right there.

A/N: I'm sooo sorry this took forever to finish- I actually had the chapter all planned out for the longest time, but it was my turn to write the chapter for a collaboration with a friend, so that came first. Then my computer blue-screened. So, I was computer-less for almost a month- and the chapter for the Collaboration fic was still on the computer. I felt really stupid, but I couldn't even think about this one because if I got into this one, I'd never get back into the other one. It's a little confusing, but it's alright now, because I'm back on track and refuse to leave anything on the computer ever again without having a backup copy somewhere else.


	8. Welcome To My Life

Welcome To My Life

_He thinks He can understand, but he knows there is no way._

_Has He ever been hit until it stopped hurting?_

_Has He ever endured days without food?_

_Has He ever wanted, really wanted, to run away, but knew He couldn't?_

_No. No. No. There was no way. _

_He couldn't know what it was like to live the life he had to._

* * *

Roxas walked through the hallway of the school, alone, towards the main doors. Axel, as he had just found out, had vocal lessons this Thursday after school. They had met up at the blonde's locker, and Axel had said that Roxas was welcome to sit and listen, or he could get a ride with Val. As much as Roxas loved hearing Axel sing, he wrote saying he'd rather go to the house.

He was on his way to meet Val. When he saw a head of bright red hair, he waved; Val then smiled and waved back. He buckled himself in the front seat, then they started moving.

"So, Roxas," Val started, "How was your day?"

Roxas saw her look over, and he smiled, giving her a thumbs-up.

"That's good. Axel told me that you play piano for the choir, is this right?"

He nodded when she glanced over. Axel must have told her about his talking issue.

"That's nice. I can't wait to hear your first concert," Val said, turning onto the street where the house was. She pulled into the driveway, parked, and unlocked the doors. "You're going to work on your homework now, right?" she asked, daring him to object. Roxas realized that Val could very well be the reason why Axel does so well in school- she probably forced good study habits on her son.

He nodded to her question. There was Music Theory he could work on, and a little calculus homework. They went inside, and Roxas brought his bag over to the window seat. The blue folder with "Theory- AP" printed on the top was pulled out of the bag, and he began working on a figured bass review sheet.

_No, no, that's in second inversion, _Roxas though while he erased and rewrote a bass symbol.

"Roxas?" Val called from the other room. Roxas looked up, seeing her standing in the doorway to the dining room. She had work gloves on, as well as a hat, and that same smile that seemed to not go away for very long at all. "I'm going out to work in the garden out back, just to let you know," she said. Roxas nodded, and went back to his homework.

After some time of this, Roxas a strange feeling that he was being watched. Fidgeting a little, he finished the theory sheet- his heart started thumping harder in his chest. When he leaned down to get his bag, he was startled. He gasped.

_It's just Reno,_ he realized, holding his chest with his left hand. He almost had a panic attack, just because he was being watched. It was like... Clyde... all over again. He really needed to get over this; Clyde was gone until Saturday afternoon. Being so jumpy around Axel's family might have a negative impact on their view of him, and their opinion of him was very important. If Val and Reno didn't approve of him, surely they could kick him out, even if Axel had invited him in?

"Hey, kid," Reno said. Roxas finally relaxed- at least Reno didn't call him a slut or something equally derogatory. He gave the redhead his attention, turning towards him and making eye contact.

"So, did it hurt?"

_Huh?_

Reno leaned in closer, his elbows on his knees. He smiled, saying, "When you fell from Heaven, Angel?"

Oh, did he blush! Why was Reno doing this, calling him "Angel" all the time? Not that he minded, no, not at all; it was just that the positive attention was strange to him. He felt something touch his knee, and he looked down.

Reno was in his bubble. So far, only Axel was allowed in his bubble.

_Reno is not Axel,_ Roxas said to himself, then moved back against the wall, pulling his legs away and drawing them up against his chest. Reno was looking at him with a gleam in his eye that made Roxas feel extremely uncomfortable.

Roxas's movement didn't deter Reno any, though; he still seemed oblivious to Roxas's growing discomfort. "Damn, I hope you know CPR, Angel, cuz you're taking my breath away."

Did he? Roxas realized, then, that Reno must have been joking around. He relaxed a little, letting one leg down to stretch out in front of him. His lips were dry; he pulled them into his mouth briefly to wet them.

Reno faltered a moment, then, "And, Sweetie, I think I might need directions." Roxas groaned internally- he had once heard an upperclassman say this one in passing.

_I got lost in your eyes,_ Roxas knew the rest of the line was, and waited for Reno to say it.

"I was distracted watching your mouth move, and now I don't know where I am."

Why would he be watching...? What?

While Roxas contemplated this, Reno moved in closer, enough to whisper in Roxas's ear. "But I know where I'd like to be," he whispered, licking the skin he just breathed on. Roxas sat up straight and shivered, suddenly fearful. "It don't matter where, Angel; I just gotta get on the... _inside_."

Forget fearful, Roxas felt wave after wave of intense terror shoot down his back and settle in his stomach. He tried staying clam, reminding himself that it's just Reno, and that Axel would be back any minute now.

Axel would protect him, right?

Roxas didn't care after the moment when Reno's hand started creeping up his thigh. When that hand got just _too_ close, Roxas felt his stomach lurch and he pushed Reno away and ran upstairs, passing Axel as the redhead was just getting through the door. He registered that Axel called after him, but he had already turned at the top of the stairs and threw open the door to the bathroom.

He stared at the pool of water in the toilet while on his knees. Stomach lurching, he heaved once into the pool what little he had. Basically, it was all acid and breakfast; he didn't have a lunch period and had long ago learned to go without his midday meal. It was clear, but still gross; it looked almost sticky, and though Roxas wondered why the acid in his stomach looked sticky, he kept throwing it up.

When he thought he was done, he spat, stood up, and quickly turned around again and dry-heaved. He groaned with each dry push that his stomach gave. _It's like Clyde all over again, _he thought when he felt his body finally calm down for good.

Knocking came at the bathroom door, along with calls of "Roxas? Are you alright??" On shaky legs- it was like they were really rubber- he rinsed his mouth out and opened the door. He flinched when Axel drew him into a tight hug, but relaxed almost immediately. His brain had to catch up with the fact that it was just Axel, and that Axel would never hurt him.

...Right?

Axel pulled him back to his arms' length and studied him. "You're not sick, are you? What's wrong?"

Roxas shrugged. He knew exactly why he had reacted to Reno's advances the way he did, but he wouldn't tell Axel even if he could. Axel would probably think that he was just making it up and not believe him; then, he'd think he was a lier and their friendship would be nothing.

Footsteps came up the stairs, two pairs, and Roxas saw both Val and Reno coming up. Both had worried demeanors, but nothing topping Axel's worried face. Val came towards him and put her hand on his forehead.

"He doesn't seem that hot; I doubt that he's sick," Val said after pulling her hand away. She studied him the same way that Axel had, and he suddenly felt very uncomfortable with the situation. "Though, if Axel's okay with it, you two can stay home tomorrow. I don't want to take any chances that you _could_ be a little sick," she continued, then turned away and went back downstairs.

Reno stayed behind Axel and wouldn't stop _staring_ at him. Roxas fidgeted; Axel had told him that his older brother was a psychology major in college. Reno could probably figure out why he threw up just by studying his behavior a little longer.

Roxas went over to Axel and looked up at him; the redhead sighed and pulled him into a light, brief hug, then led the way downstairs. But, when Roxas passed Reno, he felt the blue eyes on him and, instead of feeling like a specimen, felt like he was being undressed. They made it to the living room, and sat on the couch next to each other.

Reno sat across the room, watching him. And, every time he felt those hounding eyes on him, he'd duck his head and feel his gag reflex try to make him throw up again. But, a soft touch on his leg every time he tensed let him know that if Reno tried anything, Axel would get in the way and protect him.

After dinner, they sat on the same couch they had the night before. When he yawned, Axel again asked if he was tired and then let him lean on his shoulder. It reminded Roxas of when his Dad used to do the same, when he was younger, and he couldn't find it in himself to renew his cautious side and stop letting Axel touch him. How could he, when every time they touched he felt so happy, like he did before Lydia turned evil?

He fell asleep to the steady rising and falling of Axel's chest.

* * *

_Waves crash in front of him. Over and over again, a circle of energy flowing from one shore to another all the way across the ocean. He sits in the sand and shakes quietly while the waves splash salty water on his face; or are the drops his own tears?_

_He no longer cares to know the difference. He cries- is he such a child? No, he is older now, and should not be crying, but he is. _

_Why? Because he is afraid._

_It has seemed like an eternity since anyone sat here in the sand with him last. Never would he have thought that he could be afraid of being by himself, but here he is, crying. He misses the company of the other that sat with him. He does not like being alone. _

_He sits and cries for days, months, years, maybe, until someone comes. The stranger comes up from behind and sits behind him. "Why are you crying?" the stranger asks. _

_He does not know who this is. Talking to strangers is bad. He keeps crying, just a little louder. Arms close around his body- like this stranger is trying to restrain him. He struggles, trying to elbow the stranger in the side, but can not reach him._

_While he struggles, the arms do not allow any leniency, but also do not get any tighter. "It's okay," the stranger whispers, "I won't hurt you." _

_He keeps trying to break free. But he soon tires, and realizes that what had seemed like restraint before is really more like an embrace. It is actually very comforting, and he finds himself letting this total stranger hold him close. Whomever this guy is, he has an aura about him that makes him feel safe- not alone anymore._

_When he looks up, green eyes are looking back at him and thin lips are smiling softly. He knows he can trust him- he seems to care for him, and how could he not trust such a caring person?_

"_Walk with me?" Axel asks, and he nods. They do not walk very far, but they find a place to stand up to together. The waves crash in front of them._

* * *

Roxas woke up Friday morning in the same position that he had the previous one- his face pressed against Axel's chest and his back being squished between the redhead's body and the back of the couch. Though, this morning the position was different in that, while he had slept, Roxas's ankles had curled around Axel's, effectively tangling their legs together. It made it quite difficult for Roxas to sneak away, or to even just sit up without waking Axel up.

But, when he just focused on his own breathing, and listened to the redhead's heartbeat, he found he didn't really want to wake Axel up. He really did just want to lay there with the comfort of Axel's warmth all around him.

They were probably moving too fast for a proper relationship, Roxas realized while he laid there with Axel. Hadn't it been not even a month ago that they didn't know that the other even existed? And yet, here he was, in every sense of the term, sleeping next to Axel. But, Roxas knew, whatever speed rule existed had already been broken the first day they met, when Axel had first shown him his caring side. They had hardly known each other for a day and yet he had felt so at ease laying on the bank with Axel.

His pillow moved. Axel was awake. Roxas felt Axel's fingers pulling up the hem of his shirt and then touching the skin on Roxas's side. Though he tensed, he let it happen; he looked up at Axel and then sat up on the redhead's waist. Their eyes met and locked together, and Axel kept his hand around Roxas's side.

But, while Roxas sat above Axel, looking into those green eyes, he didn't see that one thing he wanted. Understanding. It wasn't there. Of course Axel didn't know the life that he had lived, but surely the redhead could at least show that he knows something is wrong with his life, right? Roxas sighed; he wished there was some way he could tell Axel about Lydia, but he knew there really wasn't.

He wasn't ready to talk just yet.

He slipped off of Axel, feeling the redhead's finger's drag lightly across his skin. He knew that leaving that position disappointed Axel by the unhappy sigh he heard, but still he sat at the redhead's feet and waited for him to get up.

Val came in a little later to see Axel before she left for work, saying that he needs to look out for Roxas today. "If he gets sick again, call me and let me know, okay?" she said, to which Axel nodded.

_I hope Axel's not really that mad, _Roxas thought.

Reno also left, for class, but not before making a spectacle of himself towards Roxas. The blonde just smiled, embarrassed, while Reno spoke of how much he "shall miss his Angel." Axel, Roxas saw, then got very red in the face and almost hissed at Reno to leave. "Fine, fine, whatever," Reno said, then stood up (he had been kneeling in front of Roxas while giving his sappy speech). But, before he left his spot, he swooped down and pecked Roxas lightly on the cheek.

"OUT, RENO!!" Axel yelled, shoving his brother back and pointing to the door.

Roxas felt himself blush; his heart was beating overtime. Reno left them and Axel calmed down, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. Roxas moved a little towards him and put one hand behind the redhead's neck- it was something that his father used to do whenever he came home from school stressed- and kneaded it gently. He felt Axel lean back a little towards his hand and he let his hand drop to his knees.

Movements later, Roxas had both hands massaging Axel's neck and shoulders while he knelt behind him on the couch. _Poor Axel, _Roxas thought while he tried his hardest to ease away the tension in the muscles. _I wonder if anyone's ever done this for him before?_

But he kept moving; now that he had seen the redhead get angry, he knew he didn't want to have that anger directed at him. And, judging by the severity of the kinks in his neck, Axel might get cranky if Roxas were to stop.

Roxas thought on that for a moment while keeping his hands moving. Was he really afraid that Axel would become angry with him if he were to stop? Was it even plausible? _No_, Roxas realized. He couldn't see Axel _ever_ becoming truly angry with him- disappointed and frustrated, maybe, but never angry. No, Axel would never become what Lydia had; Lydia had been frustrated to such a degree that it could be called anger, though what Lydia was angry at still was a mystery to him.

What was he scared of, if not Axel becoming angry with him? Roxas didn't know, really, what there was to be scared of when Axel was around. Axel would protect him if Lyida decided to try anything- it wasn't like she knew where he was, anyway.

"Hey, Roxas?" Axel spoke up.

Roxas hummed, letting the redhead know he was listening.

"Where did you learn how to do this?"

Roxas stopped, looked around for a pen, and, upon finding one, wrote a single word on Axel's palm. _Dad_.

Axel said nothing, and Roxas went back to his massage. He had noticed before that Axel never talked of his own father- Roxas also had a hunch that the blocked out face in the photos belonged to Axel's father.

Roxas, of course, didn't voice any of these musings, and instead kept working on Axel's shoulders and neck. But, Axel decided to voice some of his thoughts. "I don't like it when Reno hangs over you like that," he said. "And, I don't like how you don't push him away."

Roxas put his forehead on the redhead's shoulder, feeling tears start to form. He couldn't help that Reno had taken a shine to him; and he certainly wasn't strong enough, physically, to push the older redhead away.

"Roxas, why won't you talk to me?" Axel asked, turning his head a little to the right, like he was trying to look behind him. Trying to look at Roxas. But, Roxas just sniffed back his tears; he had told Axel why, hadn't he? He had nothing to _say_, nothing that he couldn't already "say" through passed notes and the such. His hands stopped, and dropped to his side; then, he fell out from behind Axel and curled on the couch.

He was not ready to trust his voice. Axel seemed worried- his hand was on his side, and he spoke softly. "Whatever you're scared of, Roxas, I won't do it. I _swear,_" Axel said, but the words were just that: words jumbled together to form some kind of language that Roxas was unfamiliar with. He felt tears slip into his ear, and Axel's voice took on more of a worried tone.

Roxas didn't understand. Why wasn't Axel screaming at him? Why wasn't he yelling for Roxas to stop being such a fucking pussy and quit his crying? Why was that hand just sliding up and down his side, not slapping or punching him?

"I'm so sorry, Roxas, I didn't mean to make you cry!" Axel said, picking him off his side and holding him in his lap. It scared Roxas at first, and he fidgeted and pushed away, but Axel wouldn't let him go. There was a hand in his hair, massaging his scalp while another hand rested around his waist. But, neither hand seemed to be menacing; rather, he noticed, Axel was trying to calm him down.

"It's okay, Roxas, I get it. You don't want to talk. You don't have to, just please don't cry," Axel whispered, rocking them back and forth. Roxas breathed deeply, then put an arm around Axel's shoulder, the other he rested on Axel's chest while he leaned on Axel. He didn't close his eyes, but still let the familiar feeling of warmth and safety spread over him.

_Axel is not going to hurt me, _Roxas said to himself. _He won't make me talk if I don't want to._

Roxas, eventually, found himself a little sleepy again. Crying always did tire him out. He finally conceded to close his eyes, and felt Axel kiss his forehead before he fell back asleep.

"What have they done to you?" He heard Axel say before his world blacked out.

* * *

Roxas woke up to pounding on the door, and yelling from outside. "Pyro! Open the door! I know you're in there, open up!!" He didn't open his eyes, but yawned and felt his body be lifted up and set down on the couch.

"I'll be back, okay?" he heard Axel whisper. He nodded and pulled his knees up a little to his chest and put his arm under his head. He heard Axel chuckle, "Cute."

Then he left.

Roxas sleepily opened his eyes and sat up when he heard Axel, literally, squeal. _What's that about?_ Roxas thought, then got up and went over to the hallway and stood in the doorway.

Axel was hugging a blue-haired teen. The other teen looked a little taller than Roxas, but the other man behind them, standing on the porch, was very large- tall as well as built.

Axel swung the teen around in a circle, almost kicking both the other man and Roxas in the process. "I missed you so much, Zexy-pie!" Axel exclaimed.

"I missed you, too, Aku-chan!" the other teen ground out, "Now, put me down!"

Axel did as he was told, then looked over at the other man in the doorway and pointed, then looked down at "Zexy-pie." "Is that Lexy-bear?"

"His name is _Lexaeus_, Axel, and yes, that's him," the teen said. He then looked over at Roxas and pointed, making the same motions with his face that Axel had- surprised and questioning. "Is that Roxie?"

Roxas blushed. No _way_ did Axel introduce him to his friends as "Roxie," there was no way!

But Axel smiled at him. "Yeah, but he prefers 'Roxas,' Zex. Oh, yeah, Roxas, this is Zexion," Axel said, beckoning Roxas over to his side, to which Roxas complied with immediately.

Zexion studied him a little, then turned to Axel. "Well, are we invited in, or not? 'Cuz if I just had Lexaeus drive us all the way out here to see you, and you're not going to let us in, I _will_ just walk in without an invitation."

Axel scoffed at him. "Puh-_lease_, Zexion, you're, like, my favorite cousin in the whole world. You don't need an invitation; but come on in anyway. Lexy-bear is invited, too, of course," Axel said, putting an arm around Roxas's shoulders and leading the way into the living room. The two of them sat on the couch, while Lexaeus sat first on Val's chair, then Zexion on Lexaeus's lap.

"So, Pyro," Zexion started after he was comfortable, "how's life in the scary new school without me?"

Axel then proceeded to tell Zexion all about Twilight High, along with his new social life. He mentioned Naminé and how she seems to be obsessed with him (Axel didn't know the half of it- Roxas had seen her obsessed before, and she's much worse than how she's acted so far). Demyx was also mentioned, along with how much Zexion would love to get in that blonde's pants- to which Lexaeus put his arms all the way around Zexion's tiny body and grunted out: "Don't even think about it."

Easy laughter came to those three. Roxas just smiled- he didn't really find it that funny, but seeing Axel so happy and carefree after that morning was a relief to Roxas.

He felt Axel arm around his shoulder again, and Roxas leaned his head back on Axel's shoulder. He never knew that a shoulder could be so comfy- it was all bone, wasn't it?- but Axel's were almost padded and they were like a firm pillow. He closed his eyes and heard Zexion "aww" quietly, but didn't respond to it.

Since now that he knew he was safe, with Axel so close, he could relax around these strangers. He heard Axel shush Zexion, and then say, "He's not feeling well, I think, so let him rest."

"Do you want us to come back later?" Zexion asked. He didn't have that biting edge he had before when they had been joking around, but instead sounded very caring.

"Nah, just keep your voice down. He might fall back asleep, and when he does, I'll probably just take him up to my room and let him sleep there," Axel said.

"Okay. Look, so Ms. Ryan was replaced," Zexion said.

"The old choir teacher? She retired?"

"No, she was caught trying to seduce a senior, so she was fired."

"Ew, gross..." Axel said, but Roxas didn't hear much after that.

Maybe he _was_ a little sick. He didn't remember feeling so tired when he woke up that morning. He soon fell into a light sleep, and noticed when Axel picked him up- an arm under his knees and the other around his upper body- and carried him up the stairs. He felt Axel set him down on a bed- a real bed, with a real mattress and real a comforter- and brushed his bangs away from his eyes.

"Sleep well, Angel," Axel said, placing another kiss to his forehead, like he had done that morning. Roxas made a tiny noise in the back of his throat and snuggled into the comfort the bed provided.

* * *

When he woke up, he saw a teen sitting at the desk in the room he was in- _Axel's room, _he realized- and noticed that it wasn't Axel. No, it was Zexion, typing away on the computer, a few different windows in his taskbar. Roxas leaned up on the bed and then got up and stood behind the other teen.

"Sleep well, Roxas?" Zexion turned in the seat to face Roxas.

Odd. Zexion couldn't have known that he didn't talk. Roxas nodded anyway, hesitant that this teen knew about his quirks already.

"That's good." He turned back to face the screen. "Axel told me about you, called me- I think it was Tuesday?- and spoke little of anyone else." He typed a little and let Roxas think about this.

Axel had spoken of him? To his best friend from his old school? And, from the way Zexion put it, Axel spoke highly of him. Why, though? Roxas knew he wasn't special enough to be placed so highly on anyone's list, but he obviously was on Axel's.

Roxas wasn't stupid. He knew that Axel liked him as more than just a friend; with as much affection as Roxas received from the redhead, he knew it had to be something more. But, to be spoken of to an old friend, after only a week or two? Axel must have fallen for him within the first few minutes!

That would have been some time during their first Calculus class. And, granted, it was also when Roxas had noticed Axel being so incredibly handsome, but how could it have gone so fast?

Zexion spoke again. "Hey, do you IM?"

Roxas looked at him, confused.

The other laughed. "I guess not. C'mere," Zexion said, and Roxas knelt by his chair. He read the screen, seeing a sort of conversation. Zexion explained to him about how he and Axel are "talking," even though he's downstairs in the dining room at the other computer. "It's like a phone conversation, except that it's all written down, rather than spoken.

"Wanna talk with Axel?" Zexion asked.

Roxas nodded. Of course! He could tell Axel stuff in detail, without have to worry about his sloppy penmanship. Zexion laughed a little, then typed a bit more. Then, he got out of the seat and let Roxas sit. "Just type up whatever you want to say, then hit enter, and Axel will be able to read it and respond back," Zexion said, then left the room.

PyroManiacVIII wrote: hey, roxas! u feelin ok?

Roxas thought, then wrote out: _Yeah,I'm alright. Not tired anymore, so that's good, right?_ He hit the enter key and sent the message. He noticed that the name that accompanied his message must have been Zexion's name: VoiceOfShadows.

PyroManiacVIII wrote: yeah, that's good. hey, u feel up to talkin 2 me?

Roxas wrote back: About what?

PyroManiacVIII wrote: idk, ur dad? i know u live w/ ur stepmom, but what happened to him?

_He left after they got in a big fight, _Roxas typed, thinking about it again. Hadn't it really been his fault that Dad left? If he never told his father about Lydia's whoring, his father might have remained oblivious to it and never left. _It was all my fault, _he finished, then hit enter.

There was a pause, then it popped up. Axel wrote back: i'm sure w/e happened wasn't ur fault.

_Yeah, okay, _Roxas typed. He was liking this IM thing- it was like talking to Axel, but without the hindrance of his voice. _If I hadn't told my dad about Lydia being a whore, he'd still be here. _He hit the enter key and sent the message.

PyroManiacVIII wrote: i doubt it. ur dad would've found out sooner or later. don't blame urself, k? ... what was he like, ur dad?

Roxas wrote: He was okay; I can't really remember much other than screaming for him to take me with him, and that big lying face of his while he said he couldn't.

He hit enter after that, but began typing again almost immediately. _Don't get me wrong, I love my father, but I wish he hadn't left me alone with them, _he wrote, then sent it to Axel.

Axel wrote back. y_eah, i like my dad and all, too, cuz he's my dad and i can't not like him, but i wish he hadn't been such a douche to my mom, y'know? who's 'them?' i thought it was just ur stepmom...?_

Roxas sighed. Axel _did_ suspect something was wrong. He wrote: No, I also have a stepbrother, Clyde. I thought we were talking about our fathers, though?

PyroManiacVIII wrote: lol, yeah. how long has ur dad been gone for?

Roxas wrote, _Four years, about. He left about halfway through seventh grade._

PyroManiacVIII wrote: i'm sorry... my dad left when i was five, so i don't have many fond memories of him. but u prolly had good memories of ur dad... and he just left with them, huh? that sucks.

Roxas couldn't agree more, but didn't write that. _Memories are nice, but that's all they are, _he wrote, then hit enter. It was a saying that had made its way around his family pretty quickly when he was younger.

PyroManiacVIII wrote: w/e, believe what u will. i like to think that memories are what keep people alive after they die or disappear. maybe, if u keep thinking about him and relive ur memories, he'll come back?

Roxas wrote: I don't like having such childish ideas. He's gone, and if he comes back, he comes back. Oh well.

PyroManiacVIII wrote: i think that u'll cry when u c him again.

Roxas scoffed. _I don't think so, _he wrote.

Axel wrote back, _yeah-huh!_

_This is making me feel more stupid than I usually do when I'm around you, Axel, _Roxas wrote, feeling a little playfulness build up in him.

_aw, Roxas! u wound me!_ Axel wrote back, _i might go cry and become a little ball of emo and it'll all be ur fault!_

Roxas wrote: You? Little? I'd like to see that!

PyroManiacVIII wrote: u know what i'd like to c?

Roxas wrote: What?

PyroManiacVIII wrote: u singing.

Why would he want to see that? Roxas's voice wasn't anything special- he was only in the chorus to play the piano for them. He never liked singing and couldn't see where Axel was coming from. So, he wrote a single, _?, _and sent it to the other teen.

PyroManiacVIII wrote: yeah! i think u have some good song ideas in that little noggin of urs. random question! who got u into music?

Roxas thought a moment, then typed back, _Sorry to burst your bubble, Axel, but my songwriting ability is minimal, at best. And, my dad always said that my mom had a voice like an angel, and wanted me to get into music. _

PyroManiacVIII wrote: where's ur mom?

Roxas felt a single tear slip out- he didn't even feel it forming. He knew Axel would ask, but...

_I never knew her- died when I was eighteen months, _he wrote.

**PyroManiacVIII signed out.**

Roxas closed out the window and folded down the lid on the laptop- he guessed it was Zexion's, by the lack of a flame design on the top. He went over to the bed and curled on his side; Axel walked into the room just as he was wiping away the single tear. Axel sat on the bed next to him, his hand was placed on Roxas's side.

"You never knew her, but you still miss her?" Axel asked.

Roxas shook his head.

"You wish you knew her?"

Axel was really bad at guessing.

"You wish... she had never left your dad... so he wouldn't have found your stepmother," Axel said softly.

Maybe he wasn't _that_ bad at guessing. Roxas nodded, and then looked up at those (beautiful, but he'd never admit it) green eyes staring down at him.

"I don't get you, Roxas," Axel said. Roxas sat up and faced his friend, a little confused. "You obviously have no problem telling people about your past- you proved that with our conversation just now- yet you still won't speak to me." Axel's voice was laced with sadness- no, no, no, Axel was never supposed to be sad!

Roxas didn't know him for very long, but he knew enough to know that Axel really didn't look right whenever he was sad.

"I just... if you can't talk to me, then why? Why can't you trust me, Roxas?"

Roxas leaned in and threw his arms around the redhead's shoulders- _No!_ he wanted to shout, _It's not like that at all!!_ He just shook and situated his body so he sat on Axel's lap, putting his nose against the skin on Axel's neck and breathing deeply. He felt Axel's arms around him, felt Axel sigh and pet his hair.

"Is this your way of telling me that you do trust me?" Axel whispered.

Roxas nodded.

Axel hummed, deep in his throat, and didn't stop holding him. Roxas knew there was a pen on the bedside table, and reached for it- he almost slipped out of Axel's grip, but the redhead was right there and kept him from hitting the floor. Roxas wrote on his arm, a small message, but it made Axel's face light up in a- dammit, he'll have to admit it this time- _beautiful, _light smile.

_You make me feel safe._

Roxas blushed, but let Axel keep his hold on him. It was true- he never before felt so safe, not even with his father. He put the pen behind his ear, but Axel took it out and asked him another question. "Just because I want to know, could you tell me your father's name?" Axel handed him the pen, and Roxas stared at it. If Axel knew his father's name, he could track him down, maybe even tell him about what Lydia's been doing, right?

Roxas hesitated, but wrote the name down. _Cloud Strife._

Axel nodded. "I'll find him, Roxas. I'll find him for you," he said.

_For me. Axel's doing this for me, _Roxas thought. _Yeah, this is way more than what friends do._

But something still worried Roxas, even though he felt so safe and happy near Axel. Today was Friday. Tomorrow would be Saturday. He was going back tomorrow. Would he even be able to stand going back after these last days of being so happy (save the vomiting yesterday)?

More pressing, would he be able to survive like he had before? Would he make it to Monday to see Axel again?

Roxas shivered, not knowing the answer. And, though Axel can't have known the question, he still comforted him, tightening his hold around Roxas's waist and leaning them back on the bed.

Before, Roxas would have always thought that he would be uncomfortable sleeping on a bed next to someone else. But, after doing so with Axel, he realized how nice it really was, having a warm body to snuggle up against and a squishy pillow under his head.

Before he fell asleep that night, Roxas wondered, briefly, if this was what it felt like to be falling in love with someone.

* * *

Disclaimer: Uh, do I really want to own anything other than rights to my own plot? No, not really...

A/N: Yay. I got it done. Whoopie. Please don't kill me! I didn't know who to make his dad, and my brother was like, "Hey, why don't you make it Cloud?" So, that was it.

So, Cloud-lovers, I'm sorry if you had previously wanted to bash Roxas's dad, but are now torn.

I hope, **The Mad Empty Shell**, that the background was enough for you. I really want to save a little for when Roxas actually admits to Axel that Lydia is a bitch. But, I tried to make it even between background and akuroku development; did it work?


	9. Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster

_He'll hold the boy tight, all the time._

_Through the tears_

_Through the laughter_

_Through it all_

_And though He doesn't know what's really going on, He does know one thing:_

_That blonde is beautiful, all the time._

* * *

Axel walked with Roxas to his house Saturday afternoon. It was a slow and entirely silent walk; Axel didn't want Roxas to go, and he knew Roxas felt the same. More importantly, Axel didn't want to see Roxas on Monday covered in bruises or shying away from him again.

When they got to the house, Roxas led him around the side, to the basement room. Axel watched while Roxas leaned on the side of the house, facing him, and he suddenly didn't know what to do. He had planned a whole speech on different things Roxas could do if his step-family got out of hand, but seeing those blue eyes in such despair... he couldn't think of any of it.

Instead, he put his arm above Roxas's head and sighed. "Hey," he started slowly. Roxas looked up at him, and- _oh, please don't do this, Roxas!_- his eyes begged Axel to take him back home. Axel closed his eyes and opened them again, but looked away. "If you're ever in trouble... just, okay? Come home, got it memorized?"

He looked over to see that Roxas's own eyes were closed, screwed tight shut. Axel shook his head, and then let his arm drop to his side. He turned to walk away, but a pair of arms caught him around his middle and held him. He felt Roxas place his head on his back, and Axel took one of Roxas's hands and smoothed his thumb over the back of it.

Axel didn't think he could take seeing Roxas cry again. He didn't look back, just threw back a, "I'll see you Monday, alright?" and left.

He heard Roxas sniff and walk away, opening his glass door. Axel stopped and listened to Roxas fall to his knees and start sobbing- but, he did it so quietly, Axel wasn't too sure if it was really even happening. Axel almost turned around and went back to him, but didn't.

He kept walking. He felt numb and horrible at the same time- _DAMNIT!!_- he shouldn't have left Roxas like that. When he got to his house, he went right up to his room and laid down on his bed and almost started crying.

Leaving Roxas back there... he really had never done anything so stupid.

* * *

Axel got up on Monday morning feeling a little better, as he knew he would see Roxas today, at one point or another. They _did_ have almost every class together. He showered, dressed in loose jeans and a simple back tee, grabbed his school bag, and went downstairs.

It was early still, only seven-twenty. Axel figured, since his mom should be up within the next few minutes, he'd make breakfast for his family and himself. Eggs were easy- he started making scrambled eggs while he fried some sausage patties on low heat on a different burner.

One of these days, he was going to take Roxas away again and make the kid eat. Axel frowned. He had figured out why his friend was so skinny; the poor kid certainly didn't eat enough. He wondered Lydia (_witch, _he thought) even fed him right, or at all. He knew for sure that Roxas didn't have a lunch period; but, he must be eating, somehow, or he'd be dead, right?

"Don't burn the eggs, Akuseru, or you'll be eating them all," his mother said as she sat at the island. She always called him "Akuseru" when she was tired; usually when she had just woken up. He didn't mind, but he always preferred "Axel" over his real name. She yawned as Axel divided the eggs and sausages among three plates, setting one in front of her with a fork and sitting down with another. The last plate he left on the stove, after turning all the burners off.

"You didn't break your alarm today, Akuseru," his mom said. "Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you woke up before the alarm even went off."

Axel swallowed the eggs in his mouth before responding, "I didn't really sleep much last night. I woke up around four-thirty and stayed in bed hoping to fall back asleep. It didn't happen."

"Worried, much?" Val asked. Axel nodded. He had been worried all weekend. "Hmm... well, if you need to come home, you can call me at work and I'll just tell the nurse that you're allowed to leave, okay?" Axel nodded again.

"Okay."

"Good. Hey, make some coffee, please, Aku? I need to go shower," she said and then got up to leave. "Oh, and, Aku?" Axel looked over at her, frozen in place from getting off his seat. She smiled. "Don't worry about Roxas. I'm sure he can take care of himself."

Then she left.

Axel made the coffee and put his dishes in the sink. It was seven-thirty-five; he could start walking to school and stop by Roxas's house to pick him up on the way. He grabbed his bag off the counter and passed Reno while his brother was coming come the stairs.

"Where are you off to so early this morning?"

Axel stared hard at him. "School, duh."

He walked out of the house while Reno yelled, "Hey, say hi to Angel for me!!"

_Stupid Reno..._ he thought as he left the house.

* * *

He had passed Roxas's house on his way, and went along the back to the basement room. He had looked in and saw no one- and noticed that it looked a lot different than it had last Wednesday. The couch had been removed and the rug was torn up. Also, there were holes in the ceiling, like someone had been throwing an ax toward it for fun, or something.

When he had looked in, he saw a small pile of cloth in a far corner, accompanied by the thin, gray blanket that Roxas had brought with him to his house last Wednesday. Axel hated to think that that pile was where he had slept, but he knew it must have been true.

But, though he saw all this, he did not see Roxas. Disappointed, he had turned around and left, going back the way he came and left for the school building.

First period came and went and still no Roxas. Axel started to get worried, but didn't say anything when the teacher called Roxas's name and looked at him for conformation.

Roxas came in the middle of Calculus, the hood of his black sweater covering his face a little. The blonde didn't smile at Axel when he walked over to their seat, the hand-attached chains on his pants ringing together, or when he sat down; he just looked straight ahead and kept a blank stare. This blank stare scared Axel very much, and he tried passing notes to his friend to get some kind of response.

Roxas was ignoring him again.

_Talk to me?_

_What's wrong?_

_Roxas, please, write back!_

_What happened?!_

All these went unanswered. Roxas did not take his eyes off the poster that was directly in front of the first desk in his row. He did not take notes, nor did he go up to the board to try a question when he was asked.

When the bell rang for third period, Roxas was the first one to stand up and leave. The rest of his classmates looked at Axel, surprised; they had gotten used to seeing the two together and now that the blonde had left him behind, they must have been shocked.

Axel wasn't shocked at all.

He found Roxas in the music room, sitting at a piano and playing a soft melody. Their teacher wasn't there yet and neither was Demyx. Roxas hadn't seemed to notice him when he walked in, nor did he care when Axel sat on the bench to the left of him.

His song only got softer.

Axel noticed his chord progression and key, and began a counterpoint melody in the range he was sitting at. Whenever Roxas was holding a note, Axel would take his time and move, letting his thoughts out on the piano before giving Roxas a turn and holding his next few notes.

Roxas started to play even more soft, but Axel put his hand over the top of Roxas's and pressed down on the keys with Roxas, making a rather obnoxious, randomly loud sound.

The blue eyes looked up at him for the first time that day and scowled. Axel only smiled down at him; then, leaned over and whispered: "Your songs shouldn't ever fade away. They're too beautiful."

He saw Roxas blush a bright red before he pulled his hand away from Axel's and tightened his hoodie's drawstrings and left to go to his seat. Their teacher clapped for them from the doorway. "That was really good, boys. Now, if you could only put that kind of effort into your harmonic dictation exercises, I wouldn't have to worry about you failing your AP test at the end of the year!" she said, then took her place at the front of the room. Demyx came in as the bell was ringing, sliding into his seat whilst receiving a very exasperated look from the teacher.

Axel watched Roxas fiddle with his drawstrings, wondering what he could do to get back in his good graces.

"Okay, first, all the music classes are going to perform at the Music Festival at the end of November. You three are required to give a performance for a grade, of any kind. Demyx, yes, you can play your sitar. I think, Axel, you'll be singing?" Axel nodded. If he had to perform, more definitely he'd be singing; other than singing, he only knew how to play guitar. "And, Roxas, you'll be playing piano, correct?"

Roxas shook his head.

"Then, what?"

Roxas looked over to the teacher, and Axel could see a glare coming from those blue eyes. Roxas went up to the board and wrote, _Oboe._ Ms. Meredith nodded, and wrote it down.

_I didn't know he played oboe, _Axel thought.

"I hope that you'll all practice hard. You _are _the AP students, and are expected to play- and sing- well. Now, let's continue with scale degree review, hmm? If your root is A-sharp, what would your mediant and dominant be? Demyx?" The teacher asked.

"C-double-sharp and E-sharp?" Demyx answered.

"Are you asking me, or telling me?"

"Um, telling you?"

"Well, you're right," the teacher said, then went back to the board and proceeded to explain why this was so. Axel soon became very bored with this, and raised his hand. "Yes, Axel?"

"When are we going to start new stuff?" Axel asked. He saw Roxas make a tiny smirk at his question, and was happy that he managed to get some kind of positive response out of the blonde.

"When I'm satisfied that you all are ready for new stuff," she said. "Now, if your mediant is C, what's your submediant?"

"F, duh. Can we move on now?" Axel said, leaning forward.

"No. Demyx is still struggling."

Axel leaned back and watched while Roxas shook, like he was holding in a laugh. He suddenly had a really good idea. "Then, you can teach Demyx, and Roxas and I are going to hall wander, okay?" Axel stood up and grabbed Roxas's hand and led them out of the room.

The teacher didn't stop them, but Demyx looked at Roxas and nodded. Axel guessed that Demyx had planned this, to provoke Axel into taking them out of the room. He'd have to thank Demyx later.

They walked around, next to each other, but Axel still didn't know what to say. But, maybe words weren't needed here. No, Axel knew, he'd need to show Roxas that he was sorry, rather than tell him. Axel put his arm around Roxas's shoulders and turned them around- back to the music wing, where he knew there was a practice room he could use.

Roxas seemed confused, especially when Axel turned around and switched the lock on the door after closing it behind them. Axel leaned his back against the door. He waved his hand, silently telling Roxas to come closer, which the blonde did, hesitantly. They stood less than a foot away from each other- close enough that Axel could pull him forward if he wanted to, but just far enough away to make him seem unreachable.

"Do what you want, Roxas. I deserve whatever you throw at me."

Roxas looked at him, his face widened in shock. But, Axel just kept his arms at his side and tensed for whatever Roxas was going to do. He was ready for the blonde to punch him, or hell, even bitch-slap him; _anything_ to show Axel that he was angry. He was _not_ ready for _nothing_ to happen for a good minute, then for Roxas to fling himself at him and wait.

Axel, slowly, put his arms around Roxas's waist and made sure they were flush against each other. Roxas turned his head, fisted one of his hands, and pounded on his chest. It didn't hurt, but along with the tears that fell from his eyes, Axel felt so horrible. _Shoulda never left him, _he thought as he held the crying blonde.

When Roxas calmed down, Axel lifted one hand and ran his fingers through the few blonde strands at the base of Roxas's neck. He hoped that Roxas could understand that he's sorry, _so very sorry_, without him having to say it.

The bell rang and Roxas stepped back and grabbed his and Axel's bag off the floor, handing Axel his bag with small, guarded smile.

Axel took his bag with a slightly bigger smile, and unlocked the door. He let Roxas out first, then followed, going with Roxas to their fourth period English class.

The rest of the day passed without conflict. Roxas did seem to forgive him, and they passed notes like usual. Of course, they still had to dodge Naminè and her gaggle of girls, but it wasn't much of a problem. Actually, Axel noticed as the week progressed, Roxas seemed to be smiling more, like he wasn't getting hurt anymore.

On Thursday, Axel passed a note to Roxas asking just this. _You seem to be smiling a lot, _Axel wrote, _Something good must have happened; what is it?_

Roxas smiled and wrote back, _My step-family went away Tuesday night. I've got the whole house to myself! _This was followed by a smiley face.

_When will they be back, do you know?_ Axel wrote.

_No... but, I know that they're not home right now, _Roxas wrote.

Axel nodded, but didn't write back. Calculus had started, and they had a test, so they couldn't pass notes.

Friday, though, Roxas came in the same way- and about the same time- as he had at the beginning of the week. He looked tired, and stepped carefully across the floor. However, this time, Axel was able to get Roxas to pass notes with him quicker. Roxas responded to his first note of, _What's wrong?_ immediately after receiving it.

_Didn't sleep well last night. Steps came home and bitched me out for not doing anything while they were away._

Axel knew that there was more to it than just being bitched out, but said nothing suggesting his knowledge of Roxas's lie. Well, not until gym class. Axel hadn't bothered to change, knowing that he was going to just walk the track with Roxas and chat about different things he knew would make Roxas laugh.

Roxas had left history class early, having been called down to the office near the end of the period. So, Axel knew he would see Roxas waiting for him in the locker room or in the gym. He tried the gym first, but found only the jocks warming up for soccer (the unit they were working working on at the time). Dully, he noted that only the she-jocks were out- the boys must have still been changing. Axel shrugged, and went into the locker room to look for Roxas.

And, damn, he found him.

The three jocks had cornered him and were shouting at him, pushing him around. Axel jumped in, yelling for him, "Roxas! No, leave him alone! Get the fuck away from him!!" But, two of the jocks grabbed his arms and held him back.

"C'mon, Roxie, just a little bit!" the last one said, shoving Roxas into the lockers. Roxas hit the lockers hard with his back, then his head slammed a little later- Axel winced and called for him again. _He's gonna get whiplash if they keep this up!_ he thought, struggling against the two that held him.

Roxas shook his head slowly- he already had it, Axel could guess. But, the jock wouldn't take his answer and shoved Roxas down to his knees and braced himself against the lockers. Axel closed his eyes tight, breathed deep, and then threw both of them off at the same time. While the other jocks were stunned that Axel had forced his way out of their grip, Axel took the one in front of Roxas, turned him around, and punched him across the face- there was a sickening crack, and Axel almost winced with the others in the room, but he had something much more important to worry about.

He knelt down, taking Roxas in his arms. "Do you want to go see the nurse? Or the principal?" Axel glared at all three of them, loving how they had all flinched at this look. Damnit, they deserved it! They deserved to be scared!

Roxas held up one finger, and Axel interpreted, "Nurse?" and Roxas nodded. Axel slipped his arm under Roxas's knees, and felt Roxas's arms go around his neck. He picked the blonde up easily, glared at the three again, and went out to the gym. He went up to his teacher and asked to take Roxas to the nurse- "He's not feeling well," Axel said as an excuse.

Of course, Axel got the okay to go, and to not bother coming back- it's not like he ever participates in gym anyway. Axel, with both their bags on the side that held Roxas's knees up, walked slowly through the empty halls. Suddenly, he was very glad that the old wing he was walking through had very small windows on the doors.

When he made it to the Nurse, Roxas was already asleep- at least Axel knew he wasn't lying when he had said that he hadn't sleep well the previous night. Axel explained that Roxas hadn't been feeling well, and that he had fallen asleep on the way here. The nurse had taken pity on him, saying that he could put Roxas down on one of the cots in the next room- and to not forget to draw the curtains over, so he has some sort of privacy.

He placed Roxas on the cot, their bags on the floor, and then took a seat next to the blonde. His mind stayed blank for a little while, then the nurse came back and sat next to him.

"He has no emergency numbers, do you know anyone I can call that will come and pick him up?"

Axel shook his head, but suggested that Roxas just stay here, then he could walk Roxas home after school.

"I guess that would work. School's almost over anyway. I'll write you a pass back to class," the nurse said, but Axel stopped her by saying that he'll just wait until the bell rang, then he'd go to Choir- or did he have poetry today? Or Lab?

"Today is F-day, if that helps?" the nurse said. Axel nodded- he had poetry today.

The nurse left the room, and Axel grabbed his bag and reached in for his poetry notebook, and then started writing some prose. He thought, as he looked over it when he finished, that it was crap, and threw it back into his bag and looked over at Roxas.

His eyes were open and he was smiling.

"Hey, are you alright?" Axel asked, leaning over and brushing a few stray bangs out of the way. Roxas nodded, still laughing through his eyes.

"What are you laughing at?" Axel asked, feeling a little flustered.

Roxas pointed at his bag, and Axel got out his notebook that he had just been writing in. Roxas held out his hand, and Axel placed the book in it. Roxas flipped through to where he had just written, then pointed to a really cheesy line he had written down.

_I can breathe when I'm around you..._

Axel flushed at this, seeing Roxas laugh at him harder. Roxas, when he had calmed down, wrote a note down on the page.

_It'd be less cliché if you said something different; though, what that different is, I don't know. Sorry..._

Axel shook his head, smiling, then turned to Roxas. "Now, if you're done laughing at me, you have a choice to make." Roxas looked up at him, having stayed laying on his side through all this. "You can, one," Axel lifted a finger, "stay here and sleep while I go to poetry, or two," he lifted another finger, "come with me to class. I don't know what you have ninth period on F-days, but you'll be coming with me to sit in on poetry, 'cause I'm not leaving you alone after what happened in gym."

Roxas closed his eyes, like he was trying _not_ to remember what had happened, and lifted up one finger. Axel nodded- though he was disappointed, he wouldn't say it. He knew that Roxas would be safe in the nurse's office, sleeping. He slipped his notebook in his bag and said to Roxas, "Well, then I need to go, cuz the bell's going to ring in a minute or two." He picked his bag up, and then waved a good-bye to Roxas, who waved back and closed his eyes.

Axel thought briefly about going and giving the blonde a small kiss on the forehead, but shook the thought out. Yes, Roxas had warmed up to him very well, but Axel didn't know if Roxas liked him _like that_ yet. And, the last two times, he could have sworn that Roxas was asleep whenever he did it. Roxas was _not_ asleep yet.

Axel sat in poetry and worked on a poem he could eventually put to music, maybe even perform at the Music Festival. He'd have to ask Roxas or Demyx about that later, as he still didn't know much about it. Mostly, he wanted to know if family could come see him, the exact date, and the time- all that so he could tell Zexion to come and see him sing.

He got a little of some good prose done, but nothing that he would ever sing, even if he got it into a poem. The final bell rang and he threw his stuff together and went back to the nurse, to see Roxas. The blonde was waiting for him, sitting up on his cot, rubbing his neck. Axel frowned and sat next to him. "What's up with it?"

Roxas looked over at him. Axel took Roxas's neck in his hands, and gently felt around. It felt a little out of place, but nothing major. He saw Roxas mouth out, _hurts, _and then he took his neck back and rolled it around his shoulders.

"You probably shouldn't do that..." Axel mused, but stood up and offered his hand to Roxas, who took it and stood up, lingering a little before letting go. This made Axel smile a little, and he picked up Roxas's bag and put it next to his own on his shoulder.

"I'm going to see if I can kidnap you for the weekend, okay?" Roxas nodded, and walked next to him while they left the school building.

When Axel saw Reno's car waiting for him, he led the way over to his brother, and opened the door for Roxas. "Be careful with your neck, okay?" Axel said while Roxas got in. Roxas moved over, so he was sitting behind Reno, and Axel took the hint and slid in next to Roxas in the back, leaving the front seat open. Reno cocked his eyebrow at Axel, but he only waved his older brother off and told him to get moving.

"So, what's your genius plan to kidnap Angel?" Reno said, looking briefly in his rear-view to see Axel a little.

"Go straight home, wait until four, then have mom call his house and tell whoever is there that Roxas won't be back because he didn't feel well and had just fallen asleep," Axel explained.

Reno looked skeptical. "And you think that Mom is gonna go for this?"

"I think she'd go for anything, if I tell her my reasoning behind it," Axel said, confident.

"So what's your reasoning, smart one?"

"You don't need to know right now." Axel looked over at Roxas, seeing the blonde staring out the window. He looked really lost, like he was also skeptical about this 'genius' plan. Axel had actually made it up as he said it, and didn't have much faith in it, either.

When they got home, Roxas and Axel stayed in the car while Reno left them. Axel grabbed Roxas's hand and watched while Roxas stared, instead of out the window, at their clasped hands. "Roxas?"

Roxas looked up at him.

"I promise, okay? Even if I do get called on kidnapping charges, you're not going back this weekend."

Roxas looked away, pulling his hand out of Axel's, and left the car with his bag. Axel stayed in the car just a little longer, thinking about why Roxas wasn't as appreciative as he could've sworn he thought Roxas would be.

Maybe, Axel was being a little too clingy? What if Roxas wanted some time to himself? What if Roxas just straight out, was _straight_? Axel sighed, getting out of the car and slinging his bag over his shoulder. _No, _he thought as he walked up to the front door, _it wouldn't matter, because I still like him anyway._

Axel was attacked by Roxas when he walked into the house, as the blonde ran into him and grabbed onto the front of his shirt, burying his face in Axel's chest. Axel, almost on instinct, curled his arms around Roxas's tiny body, and looked up to see Reno standing in the kitchen doorway, watching them. _Something's wrong, _Axel thought.

Roxas cried into his shirt.

Reno sighed. "The step-family is in there. They came to make sure Roxas went straight home," Reno said as he stepped in front of Axel. He leaned in close. "Yo, just take him upstairs, I'm gonna call Mom and tell her the conflict, okay?" Axel nodded, and led Roxas upstairs, into his room.

He locked the door and, on a random thought, his window.

Roxas sat on his bed, crying silently, fiddling with his hoodie's drawstrings again. Axel noticed, that must be a nervous habit he had. Axel sat next Roxas and grabbed his hand.

"I won't let them, Roxas. You deserve more than just a weekend of happiness, but I'll make sure you at least get that," Axel whispered. Roxas laid back on the bed, pulling Axel with him. Axel let Roxas curl up against his side, and Axel reached a hand around his head and began to message Roxas's neck.

"I promise," he said, letting Roxas cry himself to sleep. When he knew Roxas was asleep, he pressed his lips lightly to Roxas's forehead, and wished his mother could get off work early, so she could say something to make those, _creatures_, go away.

* * *

Disclaimer: uh... does the word, "no," mean anything to anyone?

A/N: I know, OMG, right? "She updated quicker than a week! Hell, she did it within three days!" Yeah, I had time today (6/18/08) 'cause my dad's not at home during the day and I had no regents today. So, I had all day. Sorry it's a little shorter than the last chapter, but I had to find a good place to end it.

Oh, and the music terms, at that point? Yeah, they're all right, or so I'm pretty sure they are. I looked them up, and I _did_ pass my scale degree test when we took it in Music Theory.

I have hairspray! (wields can of hairspray) Please don't kill me, or I'll spray you in the EYE!!

(This story does have a happy ending, if that makes anyone feel better about the situation I just put Roxas and Axel in!)


	10. Se tu M'Ami

Se tu M'Ami

_he thinks, as he stands in darkness, that no one could ever do it._

_No one could care about him_

_No one could worry about him_

_No one could love him_

_But a light came in his darkness, a light like the sun, and he had to wonder..._

_If He loved him, would he really even let Him? _

* * *

A little while later, Roxas woke to see Axel still next to him, on the redhead's bed, with his arm still around Roxas's waist. He didn't even remember falling asleep, but he must have, right? He heard yelling downstairs, and he lifted his head a little- or, tried to, at least, but ended up hurting his neck. He gasped, and then let his head fall back onto the pillow.

Axel stirred; it seemed that the redhead had also fallen asleep before. Roxas, in the process of letting his head drop to the pillow, also landed on Axel's arm, which had been under his neck for support. But, it didn't look like the redhead would stay asleep for long; he snorted, unstuck his lips, and opened his eyes, looking straight at Roxas.

Roxas didn't keep his gaze, and looked away. One of the voices that was yelling he knew was Lydia, but was Val really that angry? She was yelling at Lydia that she would call her on breaking and entering if she didn't leave _right now!_ But, Lydia had a point in that they didn't break anything. Val would shoot back that they were still trespassing, and could at least be fined for that; Lydia says that she'll just call that one kid- "What's his name, Axel?"- on kidnapping charges, and Val says that Roxas, technically, isn't even Lydia's son.

Roxas couldn't believe the _fight_ that had erupted over his making of a new friend.

_Maybe, _he thought, _I should just go with Lydia. Then, Axel wouldn't be so frustrated, or whatever. _

"Hey, how long have you been awake?" Axel asked quietly. "A few minutes? An hour? It's, like, four-thirty now, so I'm sorry if I kept you still for more than an hour."

Roxas smiled. Axel was cute when he wakes up and starts rambling. Roxas puts his finger on Axel's lips to keep him from talking, then, in the silence, closed his eyes and put their foreheads together. He could feel Axel smiling, and also felt the arm around his waist tighten.

The two women downstairs seemed to have calmed down, Roxas noticed as he felt the warm safety of Axel's arms almost enough to lull him back asleep. But, he couldn't; a soft knocking came at the closed, locked door, and Roxas almost feared it was Clyde. Axel groaned, and said to the door, "What?"

"Axel, are you two okay in there?" It was Reno. Roxas sighed, relieved. As much as Reno could be a prick sometimes, when he had stumbled in the kitchen earlier, and Lydia had demanded that he go with her, Reno _had _told them to back off, and for Roxas to go find Axel. Reno had stood up for him; he had to be thankful for that.

"Yeah, we're alright," Axel called back. He pulled away from Roxas, and whispered, "I'll be right back, okay?" Roxas nodded and snuggled deeper into the covers. He heard Axel talking with Reno, catching a few words here and there.

"...doesn't want... gets... there..." was all he could tell from Axel's voice. Reno's voice was even harder to hear, and only caught one phrase he could tell positively, "You're sure about that?"

Roxas could only hope that they weren't talking about his issue with his step-family. He wasn't sure what he would do if Axel found out about it- more importantly, if he found out that Roxas had done... _that... _with... Clyde. Axel would never want to touch him again! And then, the pity that Roxas was absolutely sure he wasn't going to take; he didn't want to be pitied.

Would Axel really even care, though? Roxas had noticed that, a lot of the times that he does something quirky or stupid, Axel ends up finding it cute. Maybe, if Axel found out that Roxas had... given Clyde head... maybe, the redhead wouldn't really care as much as Roxas thinks he would.

Axel slipped back in the bed next to Roxas, and Roxas stared. Axel looked guilty; they _had_ been talking about him! Roxas almost wanted to try his voice again, to ask what that was about, but he didn't bother. He had a pretty good feeling that it wouldn't work anyway. Besides that, it seemed that Axel already knew what he was going to ask, and answered it for him.

"Yeah, we were talking about you; but, we were talking about what to do. Reno says they want to press charges for kidnapping, but it's only two of them, and they aren't even related to you," Axel said. "But, I think that Mom's going to make a deal with them, so you can stay here for awhile. It might mean that you'll have to go back sooner than I would have liked, but however long I can keep you here, I'll take."

Roxas was so touched! Axel really cared about him, he realized, and Roxas leaned forward and kissed Axel's cheek- their accepted "thank-you," he thought. He saw Axel's face explode in a blush, and then Axel hugged his body closer to him.

But, their moment was interrupted when a loud crashing sound came from downstairs; more yelling. Roxas was scared, and buried his face in Axel's chest. So many thoughts bombarded Roxas's mind while the yelling continued.

_They're going to come up here and pry me out of his arms, and dammit, that sounded so corny, but it's true. _

_Why didn't Axel lock the door when he came back in? _

_No, no, Axel, please don't let them take me away!!_

_I'm so scared..._

He gripped at Axel's shirt; his heart was pounding so hard, his chest started hurting. When something else crashed, and Lydia yelled, "That's _it_! I'm taking my stepson back, and we're going home, and once we're there you will have absolutely _no_ authority to tell me what I can and can''t do to my children!" Roxas felt his breathing become erratic, and he became faintly aware that Axel was saying his name, with that same worried tone he always uses whenever something bad is happening.

"Roxas! Roxas, _breathe!_ Roxas!!"

There was too much yelling, too much noise; Roxas started coughing, louder and louder, harder- _WHY CAN'T I BREATHE??_- something was wrong! He never had any trouble with his breathing before, why now?

"ROXAS!! MOM, HELP!!" Axel was screaming, and footsteps were pounding up the stairs.

_No, no, no, not them! Anyone but them!_

Roxas gasped and coughed, scared for his life- Lydia was going to kill him right in front of Axel, and how would Axel keep going with the trauma and Val, poor surrogate mother of his, why should she have to suffer, and Reno, the ass, but still a nice guy, shouldn't have to watch while Lydia beats the life out of him! He feels himself lifted from the bed, put on the hard floor and _still_ can't breathe, but sees Val above him, talking calmly to him, then turning around and screaming for those two to get the _fuck_ out of her sight before she calls CPS to give her custody to Roxas and then they are _entirely_ in the wrong, and then to Reno to call an ambulance.

_They're... leaving? _

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, sweetie, you have to focus. No one's going to hurt you, just _breathe _for me, okay? On three, we're both going to breathe in slowly, okay?" Roxas nodded that he understands, but she's talking fast, and what was that about no one hurting him?

"One, Two, Three, _Breathe in, Roxas!_"

Roxas gasps for air, and coughs again, but gets it in. He holds it for a little, then lets it out slowly, coughs again, and feels Axel rubbing his back soothingly while Val counts down with him again.

"One, Two, Three, _Breathe_," she said, calmer now that Roxas is sort of breathing.

"Do I still need that ambulance?" Reno asked, his cell still not even open yet.

Val looked at him. "No, I guess not," then she turned back to Roxas, "Are you okay, sweetie?"

Roxas leaned against Axel. It feels so good to have air in his lungs. Though he knows a good reason as to why his throat closed up, he guessed it would be a good thing to know if he was sick or not. He looked up at Axel, and knows that Axel is thinking the same way.

Did they find out? Do they know what Lydia does to him?

"I think he should still go to a doctor, but we can take him there ourselves, right? I don't think we need an ambulance," Axel said.

Then it hits Roxas like a ton of bricks- he doesn't know if he has insurance. Oh, dammit, what would a trip to the hospital cost him? Cost Lydia? Cost his father? Actually, Roxas wasn't too sure that his father had an insurance plan for himself, let alone one for Roxas. He had never had a problem with his health before meeting Lydia- common cold viruses, stomach bugs, but never anything his father would have taken him to the doctor's for.

Above all that, he had to get the mail most days during the summer; wouldn't he have seen an insurance letter addressed to him or his father if he did have insurance?

His face must have paled while he was thinking this, because Val knelt in front of him and said, "Whatever's wrong with you, I have a good friend that has a degree in medicine that will have you fixed up for next to nothing, okay?" She pulls him away from Axel's side, and though he left with a look back at Axel, he allowed Val to mother him.

_So, this is what it's like, _Roxas thought, _to have a mother..._

* * *

Something must have been off with him, he knows, because he fell into a trance-like state, with Val's heartbeat against his ear and then Axel's soft humming during the car ride to the hospital. Roxas, actually, wasn't really sure what really happened while he was there, in Val's friend's room. He knew he had Axel's hand on his lower back most of the time he was sitting up and being tested; one of Axel's hands on his thigh and another in his hair while they were waiting for test results; one arm under his knees and another holding up the middle of his back whenever they had to move; and Axel breathing in his ear while holding him up on his hip like a child, an arm under his bottom and another around his back, when they were hearing the results.

Roxas never knew breathing would be so... _cool_. Focusing on taking air in through his nose and letting it out, quietly, through his mouth, it was almost fascinating. He had a feeling that Axel was getting worried about him, but he didn't really care then. Roxas was _breathing_. He knew that Axel wasn't letting him out of his arms at all; they were in the car going home and Roxas was sitting in Axel's lap- _breathing_- instead of being buckled in the seat next to Axel.

Home. It almost sounded as good as breathing, and Roxas thought about it while he inhaled, but not when he exhaled.

_In..._ What's it like to be called home without wondering if it's for a beating or for dinner?

_Out..._

_In..._ What's the difference between a house and a home?

_Out..._

_In..._ Who is it that determines a home?

_Out..._

_In... _If it's someone special, Roxas's home would have to be wherever Axel is.

_Out..._

"Roxas?" Axel says softly, like he's afraid of breaking him with his voice.

Roxas hums, and notices that the car is silent. The car wasn't even running; did they stall?

"I wanted to ask you something, but I guess it can wait until we get inside, huh?" Axel says, then slides to the edge of the seat, opens the car door, lifts both of them out of the car, closes the door with the weight of his body, and starts to carry Roxas to the front door.

Roxas doesn't like this sudden feeling of helplessness. He fidgets, enough for Axel to stop, and motions that he wants to be put down.

Axel frowns at him. "No, Roxas. I know you were completely zoned out before, but Aeris put a lot of meds in your system for testing, and she said that your balance and strength might be affected for a little while. I'm not putting you down because I'll just have to pick you back up again."

Roxas understands his tone, and feels sadness rush through him. Roxas isn't worth the extra effort. He knew it all along; Axel never _really_ cared for him. Axel just wanted to use him, like every other person he ever let get this close to him. Axel just wanted the satisfaction of seeing someone's hopes and dreams get shot down, by _him_.

At least, now, Roxas knows better than to trust Axel when he says he does something for him.

Axel brings him up to his room, and Roxas suddenly feels weak. _He's gonna do it to me, isn't he?_ Roxas thought as Axel laid him, gently, on the bed. Roxas noticed that Axel let his legs flop almost painfully onto the bed, how Axel was rough in getting his hands out from underneath Roxas's body.

After all that Roxas did to try and learn to trust him, was Axel going to betray all that with a single act? Roxas always thought that, if he was going to be raped, that Clyde would have done it, or even someone he'd never met before. But, never would he ever think that _Axel _would be the one to do the deed.

Roxas felt Axel's hand on his belly and began to let the tears fall. Silently.

Whatever illusion Roxas might have had of Axel loving him- real love, not just a friend's love for another friend- faded away when Axel started lightly touching his stomach, under his shirt. But, Roxas could deal with this. Just like he dealt with everything his step-family threw at him, Roxas would silently bear the burden of Axel's desires. Strange; he always had some kind of picture of his first night with a lover. The ideas were always created for pleasure, and never indicated that Roxas should be wary of some ill fate such as this.

Not even in his worst nightmares did he have images of Clyde raping him in any way other than the way he already had.

"Roxas, I wanted to ask you if..." Axel started softly, but then stopped altogether. He raised his voice, "Roxas? Oh, shit, what'd I do?" He sounded distressed, but Roxas didn't care. He just let the tears go, just _fall_ and never come back- maybe they'd leave forever if he allowed Axel to just take him over and over again until the tears stop flowing. Maybe, if he cries himself out tonight, he won't ever have to worry about crying again.

"Roxas, no, please, don't cry!" Axel whispered, kissing his cheek. "Please, please, what did I do?" Axel pulled his hand away from his stomach and instead begins to caress his jaw, his neck- _damn, that's still _out? Roxas thought briefly- and his face. All light touches, Roxas could barely feel it, but he knew it was happening.

"Roxas... whatever I've done, I'm so sorry," Axel said, finally pulling back and not going back in. Roxas was shocked; isn't that what he wanted? Free reign of his body- Roxas gave it to him! And he didn't take it? Was it the tears that turned Axel off- Roxas had no control of them!

Axel didn't want him. Not, at least, like that. Roxas suddenly felt very stupid.

Axel went to get up and leave, but Roxas's arm acted on its own when it reached out for Axel's own arm. He grabbed Axel, pulled him back, looked _everywhere_ in the room before finally meeting the piercing, hurt stare of those _beautiful_ green eyes, and mouthed out, _Sorry._

Roxas was so lucky, he realized, that his and Axel's bond was way deeper than friendship, because even through that one motion, the mouthed, silent word- his second real attempt at speaking in three years (the time in the Nurse's office today didn't count, as he had meant to only mouth the word out, not even try to speak)- Axel must have still understood everything Roxas meant by it. He didn't even have to write any of it out, or confirm it with Axel's translation. Axel only smiled down at him, kissed his forehead, and said, "You're forgiven, only if I am."

Roxas nodded. What was he thinking, believing that Axel was going to do such a thing to him? It might not have ever been verbally said, but Roxas was no idiot- he knew that Axel loved him, and would never throw him into a situation where he could come out completely different.

When Axel tried to leave again, Roxas sat up and pulled on his sleeve, mouthing the word, _Question_, while knowing that Axel knew what he was talking about.

"Oh, yeah. That thing..." Axel seemed really embarrassed that Roxas had brought it up, and Roxas rushed in, waving his hands in a dismissive way, but Axel grabbed his hands and held them. "I wouldn't forget this question so easily, Roxas; I would have asked you eventually, anyway."

Axel sighed, and smoothed his thumb over the back of Roxas's right hand. "Roxas, I had been meaning to ask you this for awhile now... but couldn't find the right way to say it. Um, shit," Axel started faltering in his words, starting some, but not finishing any.

Roxas almost laughed. It was cute.

"Do you... um... do you like, _like_... Roxasdoyouevenlikegirls?"

And if his faltering earlier wasn't cute, Roxas definitely thought that Axel's question- the way he said it, so fast, like he didn't even want Roxas to know what he said- was simply _adorable_. Axel pulled his hand away from Roxas's and stood up.

"Nevermind... it's a stupid question," he said as he tried to leave.

Roxas grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the bed. Axel tripped on the edge of the bed, his torso landing on top of Roxas while his lower body was just sitting on the edge of the bed like he had been before; and their faces were _so_ close Roxas felt his own heat up. But, Axel had closed his eyes and Roxas felt the redhead's breath on his lips- and he didn't mind one little bit. Roxas took the arm he still was holding on to and brought it and his own arm above his head, and then Axel moved so their fingers were intertwined, and Roxas knew that their legs were wrong but couldn't do anything about without moving his head.

He did _not_ want to compromise their position any further.

Axel opened his eyes, looking into his own, and Roxas heard him whisper, "Is is supposed to mean no?"

Roxas leaned up and brushed his lips against Axel's. _Yes, Axel, _he thought, smiling, _Unless you're hiding something from me and just haven't developed boobs yet, I'm pretty sure I like guys._

He breathed in, deeply, and let Axel kiss him again.

_I can breathe when I'm around you_. Roxas remembered reading that line that Axel had written, and wondered why he had lost his breath before, when Axel was right next to him. _But, maybe, _he thought as he moved his lips against Axel's, letting the kiss move to being open-mouthed, but without tongue, _I don't need my breath to be happy, I just need Axel._

Axel pulled away briefly, then moved back in; he nipped Roxas's bottom lip, and Roxas opened his mouth for Axel- _now_ he let Axel's tongue slip in, and he caressed Axel's muscle with his own. He felt Axel's grip on his hand tighten a bit, and Axel's other hand went back to his stomach; but, Roxas couldn't find himself caring. Axel wouldn't hurt him. If Roxas felt Axel was going too far with his touching, Roxas knew he could pull away and Axel would stop everything until he found out what he had done to make Roxas uncomfortable.

Roxas noticed when Axel swung his legs over, so he wasn't just leaning over Roxas. Axel was _straddling_ him, his legs on either side of Roxas's hips, and Roxas groaned into the kiss. This fixed their legs a little, but Roxas still felt that they were wrong, somehow. Axel's hand that had previously been on his stomach moved to his hip.

They still hadn't stopped their kiss.

Roxas, feeling a little (just a little) lost, put his free hand around Axel's neck and- dammit_, it's not possible!_- tried to bring their mouths closer together. Axel turned his head a little bit, and Roxas sighed, happy- Axel knew everything he wanted, didn't he? Now that they were those few millimeters closer, Roxas moved his tongue into Axel's mouth and tried his hand at dominating the kiss, pulling away so briefly to bite lightly at Axel's lip, then throwing his tongue back into Axel's mouth and massaging the other's tongue.

Axel's moan sent shivers down his back, and he wanted to feel the redhead moan again. He ran away from Axel's tongue, bringing Axel back into his mouth and letting Axel dominate him again. At least, he let Axel think he was dominating again. As soon as Axel had found a good rhythm of touches, Roxas wrapped his tongue around Axel's and sucked.

Oh, did Axel moan then!

Roxas was reminded of when he had done something similar to Clyde's... but, _no_, he reasoned, _I'm doing this because I want to, Axel's not threatening me. Axel is not Clyde._

He kept his hand on the back of Axel's head to make sure that he couldn't pull away until Roxas was done with him. Axel's hand on his hip tightened and loosened, like he was grabbing at Roxas and not getting a good grip. Not once did Roxas let up the pressure on Axel's tongue enough to let him get away, and not once did Axel not moan when he sucked just a little harder than usual. Roxas felt a strange heat pool in his stomach, and after deciding that it wasn't terribly uncomfortable, let it continue to build. But, when he felt Axel harden- and _oh shit_, Roxas could feel that he responded in kind- against him, Roxas rethought what he was doing.

_What's going to happen here? No, this wasn't supposed to happen... was it?_

Axel was shaking when he pulled his tongue out of Roxas's mouth. He rested his forehead on Roxas's, and Roxas was so glad that Axel could read minds. He heard Axel swallow, then say softly, "I'm sorry. This's not supposed to happen, but _damn_ that was hot, Rox," and Roxas felt himself blush, and swallowed himself- the taste of Axel's tongue still lingered and he savored the taste as he swallowed. _Like... chocolate, _he realized.

"Do you want to keep going?" Axel asked, and Roxas thought. Did he? The way that Axel moaned before, Axel had to have some idea of what he wanted, but did Roxas want the same?

No, not really. As much as his body said otherwise, Roxas really wasn't ready for this.

Roxas, slowly, shook his head. Axel seemed okay with this, and climbed off of Roxas's body, laying instead next to him. Their hands stayed clasped together, and Roxas stared at the way their fingers fit so well together, like magic. He felt himself go down after awhile, and hoped that Axel, too, had calmed down.

Still, Roxas wouldn't soon forget the sound of Axel's moans.

"Does this mean... anything?" Axel's soft, sweet voice rang out.

Roxas had, seriously, thought the exact same thing the same time that Axel had voiced it. He thought it was freaky, but looked over at Axel. Both their heads were right next to each other's, Roxas could feel Axel's hair tickling the side of his neck. He felt the question burn in Axel's eyes, and he thought for a moment.

He already knew that Axel loved him. And, he knew that he at least was in total like with the redhead. Axel knew what he was trying to say without him having to say it; and, Roxas could tell what Axel wanted to say before he said it, sometimes, like on Monday. Roxas knew that Axel was sorry- Roxas knew that Axel never even wanted to _leave_ him in the first place. Roxas knew that Axel was the sweetest guy he'd ever met, and probably would ever meet.

In all seriousness, Roxas just about loved Axel back.

Roxas leaned over and kissed Axel's lips again- just a quick peck- and saw Axel break out in a huge smile.

"So, this means we're... boyfriends?" Axel said, turning on his side and facing Roxas.

_Boyfriend..._ Roxas liked it. He nodded, and felt Axel's happiness soar.

His own happiness level flew away, too, when he let Axel rest his head on his left shoulder. Roxas ran his hand through Axel's hair, breathed through the red strands, and interlocked their fingers on their other hands- Axel's left, and Roxas's right.

Roxas noticed when Val came in to check on them during the night, and he smiled at her when she turned on the light. Axel, while he slept, had hitched his hip over Roxas's body, but in a possessive way, rather than a sexual way. Val asked Roxas, softly, if she could get a photo of her son and his boyfriend, and Roxas blushed again.

He was Axel's _boyfriend_.

He faked being asleep while the camera click the picture, and then really did fall asleep- he didn't even notice when Val turned out the light and left the room.

Axel's warm breath on his neck was just that soothing.

* * *

Disclaimer: I'd say it in another language if I knew it, but I still don't own it.

A/N: Okay, so I kinda sped up my outline, _a lot_, with this chapter. Like, I had the make-out planned for this one, but not making their status official. No, I'm still not having Roxas talk, nor has he confessed to Axel about what Axel already knows, but I _really_ just wanted to make a cute chapter. I figured, since the last chapter had a evil ending, I just wanted to make this one better to compensate. Yay for fluff? Did anyone consider the make-out just a really diluted lime?

I lost Moose... s/he's was my bed somewhere, but I think s/he might have fallen into the crack between my bed and my wall. Or, s/he was stolen by my little sister... she likes meese... so, for having written this chapter without Moose, was it shit?


	11. There For You

There For You

_He thought it was sure before._

_His affection obvious, right?_

_He never lied to him, right?_

_He was a good friend, right?_

_But, no, he didn't deserve the Blonde... _

_Whispers... spoken, "I love you..."_

_He was just too selfish for his Blonde._

* * *

Saturday went well, in Axel's mind. He took Roxas to the mall to hang out, and even managed to get the blonde in a photo booth for a few rounds. Axel was very happy because, in addition to the few really funny pictures that were taken, he got a photo of them making out.

Roxas was so happy that entire day. Axel would give up anything to see Roxas smile again like he did all Saturday.

But, unfortunately, Sunday came too quickly. Val had agreed to let Roxas go back on Sunday night, as long as he came home with Axel after school Monday. Axel was riding with Roxas in the back of Val's car, with Reno in the front seat and Val driving. Roxas was looking out the window, and obviously not registering his hand being held gently by Axel.

He didn't know what to do. Roxas looked the same he did last time that Axel brought him back here; Val parked the car on the street where Axel told her to, and Roxas unbuckled and get out of the car, pulling his hand away from Axel's. Axel also unbuckled and rushed out of the car, going around and hugging Roxas from behind while holding him still.

"Roxas... You know if I could prevent this, I would..."

Roxas turned around and put his forehead against Axel's chest. Axel held Roxas's waist with one arm and buried his other hand in blonde spikes. He just whispered soft assurances to Roxas, while a small voice in the back of his head told him that Lydia was watching somehow. He really couldn't care less.

"Hey, Roxas?" Axel looked down when Roxas looked up, and he kissed the blonde softly. "We'll see each other tomorrow, okay?"

Roxas nodded and leaned up to kiss him again, then walked out of his arms and around the back of the house, to his room. Axel watched as he walked away, and suddenly felt like his entire world was just casually strolling away from him.

He went back to the car and didn't talk the rest of the night.

* * *

Axel was silent the entire way to school the next morning; it freaked Reno out horribly, but Axel didn't care. He just wanted to get to first period and wait for Roxas.

He did. He waited for the whole first fifteen minutes between eight o'clock and eight-fifteen for the first period bell to ring. The teacher started to call names, and got to "Roxas?" when the blonde stumbled through the door, waving his arm and panting. Axel watched, relieved, as Roxas joined him at their table.

Axel noticed that Roxas walked with a very well-hidden limp the entire day.

It was during music, while the teacher was still trying to teach old stuff to Demyx, that Axel called out that the class was boring, and that he and Roxas were leaving again. While they wandered the halls of the small school, Axel held Roxas's hand and sneaked kisses in when he knew that no one was around to see.

Roxas turned on him, though, when they got back to the music wing. He took _Axel's _hand, and pulled him into one of the practice rooms, then shoved Axel back against the door and kissed him hard.

Not that Axel cared. If Roxas wanted to make this a new, official make-out spot, then he'd go along with it. Axel looped his arms around Roxas's lower back, lifting his shirt a little so he could feel that soft skin under his hands, and groaned when Roxas started kissing down his neck. Damn, where did his little, innocent, shy Roxas go to? Not that he minded, no, not at all!

He felt Roxas push aside his shirt, and then he latched onto his collarbone and- "Ah, _Roxas..._"- licked and sucked and nipped and _drove Axel fucking crazy._ He held onto Roxas for dear life, knowing full well that if he let the sensation overcome him, they would miss English for more... pleasurable... activities.

"Roxas... you- Oh, shit- Roxas, you've gotta stop," Axel whispered to the room. Roxas gave one last kiss to his neck, then just put his head on Axel's shoulder and let the redhead calm down. Axel had his eyes closed, and Roxas's steady breathing against the other side of his neck helped him secure his own breathing.

When he opened his eyes, and looked down at those innocent blue eyes, he couldn't help but smile and wince slightly at the bruise he knew was sure to form where Roxas had attacked him. Roxas nuzzled his neck, and leaned up to kiss him once more; then, the bell rang and they left to go to English.

Roxas was smart to put the hickey under his shirt; Axel didn't know what to say if his mother saw that.

* * *

Axel was happy to notice a positive change in Roxas throughout the next few weeks. They were careful not to let anyone in school see them do anything, and Axel checked every Friday night when Roxas slept over to see if his steps had hurt him; but, there were no new bruises. Unless they were hitting him somewhere else, somewhere Axel didn't have access to on Roxas's body, Axel could affirm that Roxas wasn't getting hurt.

Roxas also smiled more often, and around more people. Demyx had even invited both of them to hang out with him on Halloween, which Axel agreed for both of them. He also got Demyx to okay him bringing an old friend from his old school.

Unfortunately, Zexion and Demyx didn't hit anything off. Axel had watched while they joked around- Demyx was really easy to get along with, but Zexion didn't make any move towards the dirty blonde. After leaving Demyx's house, Axel asked Zexion why he didn't flirt with Demyx.

"I told you," Zexion had said, "if I had flirted with Demyx, as attractive as he is, I would have been cheating on Lexaeus. How would you react if I asked you why you didn't flirt with a guy I found that I thought fit you perfectly? You're dating Roxas, you should know!"

Yes, Axel did know, but he had honestly thought that Zexion would have broken up with Lexaeus by now. Zexion didn't have that good of a record with keeping relationships going, Axel knew; Lexaeus must be something good if Zexion didn't even have thoughts of letting him go.

Axel hadn't really payed attention to Zexion's interaction with Demyx, honestly. He had stayed on the loveseat with Roxas, close enough to hold his hand, but far enough away to let go if anyone was looking and not look odd.

He didn't know if Roxas was comfortable with everyone knowing about their relationship, so he tried to keep it secret. Roxas seemed to be appreciative enough, and also kept his hands to himself if he knew someone was watching.

Except, of course, for Val, Reno, and Zexion and Lexaeus when they visited. They could always be themselves around them.

* * *

On the Monday a week before the music festival, Roxas wrote him a note, telling him to meet by the practice rooms after school. Axel, thinking that Roxas wanted his opinion on his piece, went blindly after poetry to the music wing. He waited for a minute or so, then heard their music teacher talking to Roxas about how good it is that he's found a partner to work with.

Partner, huh?

"I hope you two get a lot done today," she said as she unlocked practice room one and opened it for them. Then, she left, and Axel knew _exactly_ what Roxas had in mind for this "practice session."

Axel pulled Roxas in by his wrist and closed the door, then sat on the piano bench. Roxas climbed on his lap, and they began; this time, Axel did the attacking. He had taken to Roxas's idea, and always left his mark where clothing would cover it. Axel picked a spot on Roxas's right shoulder; he pushed the shirt out of his way, making it bunch on Roxas's left side, and gently bit down, then kissed and licked that same spot.

As always, it was totally worth sneaking around to find a good place to do this; the little gasps that Roxas let out and soft moans made Axel's head swim in the sensation of having Roxas so close. When he nipped in just that _particular_ way- _yes, like that, Roxas, now, where's my... there it is..._- Roxas would make a deep, throaty sound that Axel could _feel_ vibrating against his own chest.

Then Roxas pulled his shoulder away from Axel's mouth, and allowed Axel entrance into his own mouth, and Axel entwined his tongue around Roxas's, not letting the fact that Roxas had given in to his dominance pretty quickly go by unnoticed. Axel, recently having been allowed to touch there, put his right hand in Roxas's back pocket, and gave the blonde's ass a little squeeze.

Roxas gasped into the kiss, and jerked forward, grabbing Axel's shoulders tighter and let out one of those soft moans. _Exactly_ as Axel predicted.

With his left hand, he began running his fingers up and down the outer thigh on Roxas's right side. Down to mid-thigh, up to his hip, and back.

Roxas was obviously liking everything he was doing, and Axel prided himself on being able to multi-task. He must have been overloading Roxas's senses- and Roxas, his- because neither noticed when the door opened and whoever-it-was just stood in the doorway.

That was, until he decided to talk. "Oh, my, _God!_"

_Demyx, shit!_ Axel pulled his mouth away from Roxas's, and just stared at Demyx.

"I'm so sorry, it's just, the door was unlocked, so I thought I'd practice a little before I went home, but," Demyx started jumbling his words together, and Roxas lifted himself out of Axel's lap.

Axel looked at Roxas. His eyes... they died.

"Demyx," Axel stood up and said. Demyx stopped talking and just blushed.

"I didn't mean to interrupt..."

"I'm sure, but, the thing is, you did." Axel didn't mean to sound angry, but he ended up snapping at the other teen. "Did you want to use the room?"

Demyx flushed. "I don't... I'll leave..."

Axel put his arm around Roxas's shoulders, "No, if you want to, go ahead. We've gotta get home anyways." He led them out of the room, past Demyx, and stopped before opening the door to the rest of the school.

He looked back at Demyx, who was still watching them from the practice room door. Axel sighed. "Hey, could you keep it a secret, Dem?"

Demyx nodded, then went into the room and closed the door.

Roxas didn't even acknowledge him the entire way home. Or through dinner. Or while they sat afterwards. He just let Axel take his hand or slide him closer- it was like Roxas didn't care what Axel did to him anymore. And, it scared Axel, truly. Roxas would always look up at him whenever he entwined their fingers together, or would nuzzle his side when Axel would pull him in; and Axel obviously noticed the lack of any affection coming from his blonde.

It continued through the next day. Axel would reach under the table during lab, and take Roxas's hand in his own, and Roxas wouldn't even react.

His eyes swam, every time that Axel looked at him, like he was about to cry. Roxas was taking it hard that Demyx found out, Axel reasoned, and he would get over it eventually. Right? Or, had Axel gone too far Monday afternoon?

Wednesday came around, and Axel talked to Roxas about coming over that night, and Roxas didn't respond. Axel stopped trying after that, and said a "see you" to no one after school when he saw Roxas walk away without him.

Reno noticed his depressed mood when he got in the car, "Where's Angel?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Axel said. That dropped the subject, and the car ride was silent, save the sounds of the car.

Axel went to bed that night, alone, and afraid of what Roxas would be like the next day. Was this Roxas's way of saying that they were through? Ignoring him so blatantly?

He let a single tear slip out, and fell asleep.

* * *

Axel walked to school the next day, looking forward to his vocal lesson after school. It was the only thing pushing him to go; if he didn't have Roxas, what was the point? He didn't want to watch his blonde so sad, but couldn't help it if Roxas didn't even want to be touched.

As much as he really didn't want to see Roxas, when the blonde didn't come in during first period, he started to worry. When second and third period flew by and still no Roxas, Axel began to panic.

Lunch time. Axel sat next to Demyx, at the blonde's request, and watched while Demyx and his friends talked and laughed. Demyx looked over at him, and Axel saw his face fall from the corner of his eye.

"I'll be right back guys," Demyx said, then pulled Axel up and led them out of the lunch room. Axel followed, confused, while Demyx brought them to the end of the English wing, then turned and faced him.

"This is the only set of doors in the entire school that doesn't have an alarm on it, Axel," Demyx said. "People go out all the time- go and find Roxas, okay?"

Axel hugged Demyx tight and quick, then sprinted out the doors while throwing a "Thanks!" back at him.

Axel ran to the Strife house. He got a stitch in his side after starting up the small hill and not stopping his sprint, but he didn't stop. Soon, the one-story house came into view, and he pushed harder to get there.

He swung around the side of the house, and crept low to the ground to avoid the windows. He didn't want to risk being seen by Lydia or Clyde. Slowly, he looked in through the glass door, and gasped inaudibly.

Roxas lay on the ground, back up, his clothes torn and his eyes closed. Axel scanned the rest of the room, and, seeing no one else, went in and ran to Roxas's side.

"Roxas! Roxas, wake up!" he whispered urgently, shaking Roxas's shoulders. No response. Axel picked Roxas up and turned him over, seeing that whoever did this, had haphazardly thrown the clothes back on Roxas- and had previously ripped them off. There were bite marks on Roxas's shirt, where a rip started, and his pants were unbuttoned and unzipped.

Axel fixed Roxas's pants, and found a pile of clothes near the stairs. Hoping that something would fit Roxas, he rummaged through the pile and- thankfully- found a shirt he had seen on the blonde once. He slipped it over Roxas's head and fed his arms through the sleeves. His sneakers were still on, and Axel found his school bag near the pile of rags in the corner.

_Where's that blanket...?_ he thought as he shifted through the pile. But, steps above him, and the light being turned on from a switch that must be at the top of the stairs alerted Axel to stop his search and he went back to Roxas's body and picked him up easily, with their bags at his hip, and he ran out of the basement room.

He went around the side of the house and sat down on the ground, holding Roxas's head to his chest and panting. A piercing screech erupted from the house.

Lydia must have realized that Roxas was gone.

Axel ran for his house, and threw open the door when he got there. He put Roxas down on the couch, and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before going out the back door, yelling, "Mom!"

Val looked up from her garden. "Axel, what the hell are you doing out of school??" She walked up to him, ready to scold him. Then, he went back into the house, and she followed.

Axel knelt next to Roxas, and looked up at his mother, whose eyes had softened significantly. "I don't think he's hurt that bad, but he needs me, Mom," he whispered.

Val sighed. "If the phone rings, don't answer it, okay? Use whatever is in the First Aid kit, and make sure Reno understands the situation when he comes home." She turned away, but then called back, "And, Axel?"

"Yeah?" Axel brushed a bit of Roxas's hair out of his face.

"Don't answer the door, either."

Axel nodded, and heard the back door open and close. He watched for hours, watched his little Roxas breathe in and out, make small groaning noises in his sleep.

Reno came home during one of these hours, demanding to know why the school called him asking where Axel was. When he saw Roxas on the couch, he shut up and left them alone.

Occasionally, Axel would kiss Roxas in various spots on the boy's face, neck, hands, wherever Axel thought would be hurting right now.

It was when Axel kissed Roxas's left temple that the teen stirred and opened his eyes. It had been four hours of watching on Axel's part, and he let more tears slip from his eyes when Roxas smiled up at him.

He had wanted to be someone that the blonde could come to if something went wrong. In becoming Roxas's boyfriend, he thought that he had instantly become that person. Axel cried at his selfish overlooking of Roxas's pain. Roxas must have been acting happy all these past weeks because he wanted to see _Axel_ happy.

Fingers brushed away the tears as they fell, and Axel heard the most beautiful sound ever to grace the world.

"Don't cry, Axel," Roxas whispered. "It wasn't your fault."

Axel choked back a laugh. It was like a song, Roxas's voice; everything he thought it would be, and better. A beautiful masterpiece composed by his own Roxas. Axel put his head on Roxas's chest and felt Roxas thread fingers through his hair while he tried to hush his crying.

"I wasn't there... I'm so sorry, Roxas."

"It's not your fault; I was careless," Roxas repeated in his same whisper. His voice was hoarse, like he had been screaming for hours before Axel found him- he felt worse and felt a fresh bout of tears form and fall. Roxas brushed them all away and continued to just whisper words of his song, a sweet song that Axel knew he would never tire of.

Axel finally stopped crying when Roxas tilted his head up and kissed him. "Thank you, Axel... for coming for me."

Then they waited a little while, and Axel almost fell asleep. But, he smiled, softly, when Roxas kissed the top of his head and whispered, "I love you," before he started dreaming.

* * *

Disclaimer: uh... spork says no?

A/N: (gaspeth) omg, he speaks! Wish me happy b-day (6/27) and my present to you, a little bit of safety for our little Roku-chan.

A little short, but at least it's up, right?


	12. Having It All

Having It All

_Is there a difference?_

_Between wanting nothing and having everything..._

_Between being half a person and being someone's other half..._

_Between running away and finding a solution to a problem..._

_No, he realizes, not really. _

_But, though he can push and shove, He always seems to understand his reasons._

_Can't seem to push this one out of his life. Maybe, it's better this way._

* * *

Roxas watched as Axel woke up, lifting his head from the blonde's chest and leaning forward to kiss him softly. He looked around, and Roxas locked eyes with Reno and Val. Both had worried demeanors, and Roxas pulled Axel down to whisper in his ear. "Your room?"

Axel nodded, and helped Roxas off the couch. As soon as he stood up, he fell forward; pain shot up his back, making his eyes close, his teeth grit, and his legs give out. But, Axel's hands shot to his sides and caught him, and a gasp came from Val when his forehead hit Axel's firm chest. Axel slid his arm under Roxas's knees and picked him up, and Roxas could do nothing but lean into Axel's arms, sigh, and let the redhead carry him upstairs.

As useless as the ride made him feel, it made him also feel equally as loved.

Axel was careful setting him down on the bed, and even asked if it was alright if he lay down next to him. Roxas nodded, and Axel laid on his side, facing Roxas.

The blonde sighed. There was no room left to run away- he would have had to face his problems, eventually, anyway.

He stared at the ceiling. Yes, the ceiling was very interesting...

Axel whispered his name, and he started talking.

"It was all my fault," he started, "If I hadn't realized how... _blessed, _I guess, I was... to have such a loving father, I wouldn't have pushed him to start dating again. I just... wanted to have a mother," Roxas whispered. He had thought about how to say all this while Axel was sleeping before, but it was like starting all over again, from line one; nothing he had thought about saying seemed to make sense.

"You know," he laughed, "she wasn't bad when I met her the first time, Lydia. She just..." Roxas blinked slowly, and moved his attention to the closet. "She went crazy, after she and my Dad got married. She always thought he was cheating on her whenever he came home even a few minutes late from work. I think... her insecurity fell a little on Clyde, too, because he always was... almost _clingy_, like, after school and stuff, he'd always walk me home.

"He told me, once, that he saw the way that Lydia yelled at my Dad for being late, and didn't want her to yell at me, too." Roxas smiled softly. "Clyde," he said as he thought it, "even if he did... he did some shit to me, yeah, but I don't... I don't _blame_ him for anything. Lydia made him think that I was bad, and what did he know? He was only doing what his mother told him to."

Roxas shook his head, put a hand softly to his throat. Even though he was whispering, it still hurt. Going so long without talking; he was glad that he was getting his voice back, however frightening it was for him.

"I don't know what I did, but it must have been pretty bad," Roxas said. "Lydia just... _hated me_. And, for the life of me, I wish I knew what I did to make her hate me so much." His eyes went back to the ceiling. He winced as he remembered, "There was one time, when my Dad was still living with us. He was late, and Lydia, Clyde, and I were having dinner; I asked for her to pass the potatoes, and she picked the bowl up and..." Roxas put a hand on his face, touching a very light scar he knew was under his left eye, "She threw it at me. Started screaming, like, 'Why the fuck do you need more fucking food? What, aren't stuffed enough after a huge helping like you just had?' I was confused, because we had just sat down, and I hadn't had any yet. Then she sent me to my room, and told me that she'd have Dad deal with me when he got home. I was... eleven, I think, then."

Roxas felt Axel touch his other hand, and he looked over at him. Axel's green eyes were staring at him, and Roxas felt the redhead's love through the gaze. He was glad that Axel was staying quiet- he didn't know if he could say everything that needed to be said if he was interrupted.

"But," Roxas whispered, "that was her... on a good day." Axel closed his eyes and brought Roxas's hand to his lips, gave his fingers a soft kiss, but stayed silent. "After Dad left, she started... _chastising_, I guess... me... on everything I did. Nothing was ever good enough for her; and she tried to pull me out of the advanced courses in school because she thought that I couldn't handle the workload with all the chores she had me doing. I had to sneak around her back to get into the courses I'm in now- more so, in junior high.

"The thing she hated most about me... was my... my voice," Roxas said, putting his hand back on his throat. Axel tightened his hold on his hand. "I learned pretty quickly not to talk around her, and when she took away my friends... I pretty much stopped talking altogether. Not in school... _definitely_ not at home. I stopped answering the teacher's questions, stopped bothering to ask anyone for notes if I missed a class... just, I avoided everything that could potentially make me slip up and talk. I was so _afraid_ of Lydia finding out that I used my voice... so I just refused to talk."

Roxas thought. What else could he say to explain what was going on?

"There were times," he started again, slowly, "when she started to... to _beat _me... it got so bad, sometimes, that... I... think I just blocked her out- just, you know, let her take it out. I mean, generally, I tried to stay on her good side- whatever you want to call it- but she'd find something wrong with me, and just start yelling. And, when she started yelling, Clyde started... _hitting_, but it was only because she'd say something to him and he'd get angry!" he finished, quickly, seeing a flash of malice in Axel's eyes. He looked into Axel's eyes, seeing them confused, and he continued, softer.

"I don't want to blame Clyde for anything. He was... only trying to help his mother. Granted, I don't think that the way he went about it was right in any way, but those were his intentions." Roxas sighed.

"But, the thing is, even through it all, I kept going... 'cause, I think I knew, that someone... like you, Axel," Roxas leaned forward, kissed him lightly, "someone would come along and not give up on me just because I didn't talk."

It hurt his back a little, but Roxas turned on his side, facing Axel. He played with their fingers, tangling them and pressing their palms together. Axel kissed his forehead, and finally spoke.

"Why did your Dad leave?"

Roxas shrugged. "I don't know."

Axel nodded. "Okay, then; so, do you want to talk about what happened to you before? Like, last night and today, or whatever happened to make you pass out?"

Roxas frowned. "I'd honestly rather not talk about it," he said.

"Then don't-"

"But," Roxas put his finger to Axel's lips and cut him off, "I'll have to tell you eventually, anyway. It might as well be now."

Roxas sat up and leaned against the headboard. Axel tried to put his head in his lap, but Roxas shook his head, and made Axel keep his head on the pillow- but, he couldn't stop the single kiss that Axel pressed to his hip where his shirt had ridden up to expose some skin. Roxas shivered, took a deep breath, and began talking again.

"Books call what I told you about before, physical and emotional... abuse... right?" It was more of a question to himself, but Axel nodded anyway. "Well, there are two other kinds, I guess- neglect and... sexual... abuse..."

Axel shivered, and put a hand on Roxas's thigh. The blonde did not even try to push the redhead away, knowing that he would pull away, disgusted, after this part of the story was told, anyway.

"This... it started, really, I guess, at the beginning of school. It was within the first week, after I met you, that Clyde... he..." Roxas felt his stomach lurch. "He made me..." Roxas shook his head. "He forced me into giving him oral, Axel," he spat out, then felt the hand retreat, just like he thought it would.

The bed creaked, and Roxas felt Axel sit next to him; then, arms encircled his body and Axel whispered that he didn't have to continue if he didn't want to.

"No, you... have to know," Roxas said. He didn't bother to tell Axel to get off of him, however much he wanted to- Axel wouldn't let him go, even if he asked, Roxas realized.

"Clyde only did it that one time, but it was enough to scare me out of trusting him at all, until he became _Clyde_ again, and I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. It was just a passing thing, I think- I _hope_- and he won't do it again," Roxas whispered. He folded his hands on his lap, and took a deep breath.

"Last night... well, it wasn't Clyde. It was some guy that Lydia brought home," Roxas shivered, "I don't remember his name, or much of what he looked like. I mean, stuff sorta went along, like it had always done; Lydia bringing home guys she meets around town, and then she'll let them, y'know, beat me up, if it gets them hot... or _she'll_ beat me up, to get it in my head that she doesn't want any interruptions. But, last night... yeah, the guy came down and roughed me up, but then he... went farther."

Roxas bit his lip. He almost didn't want to tell Axel, but he knew that he had to get it out.

"The guy, he didn't go, like, _all the way_, but he did get off, like, _on _me. Actually," Roxas looked down at his right arm, where a slice from the guy's knife had been covered, most likely by Axel, "it was Clyde that pulled the guy off _before_ he... yeah... uh, _went in_, huh?" Roxas felt Axel nuzzle his neck and press two light kisses to the spot. "At least," he continued, "he did the first time. The guy came back this morning and tried it again; that time, he got me face-down and everything, and started, you know... humping me, but never got in.

"It was still scary," he finished, whispering. Roxas breathed deep again, and went on. "After that, he went upstairs for breakfast, and then came back down and started beating me again, like the night before. Clyde... wasn't there to stop him.

"I screamed, I think... then, he slapped me, told me to shut up, and covered my mouth and nose. I struggled, but couldn't breathe... and, I must have passed out, because all I remember after that is waking up here," Roxas ended.

_Anytime you want to, Axel, just let me go,_ Roxas thought, looking everywhere but at the redhead. But, Axel's embrace only tightened; though Roxas knew he wanted to, Axel didn't cry at all. Roxas yawned- who knew that talking could be so exhausting? Axel lifted his bottom up, and slid them down onto the mattress. He pulled the comforter out from underneath them, and covered them both, hugging Roxas close and petting his hair.

"I could go sleep on the couch, if you're uncomfortable-"

"If anyone's sleeping on the couch, Axel," Roxas interrupted, "It'll be me."

"But, I-"

"I'm perfectly comfortable right here," Roxas said, and saw Axel's lips curve up a little.

But the smile never seemed to reach his voice. "Are you sure?"

Roxas didn't know, but dammit, he was going to try. "I just thought," he whispered to the now dark room, "that you wouldn't want to touch me after I told you about that..."

Roxas saw Axel frown again. "What should I do, Roxas? Push you back and tell you to leave me alone- throw you away? Drop you without any reason?"

He nodded, slowly- Axel knew exactly what was going on.

"It's not going to happen, Rox," Axel said, pulling him closer; Roxas's chest was against his, and their legs tangled together. Roxas sighed happily as Axel continued, "Whatever happens, I'll still love you."

Roxas didn't even care that they hadn't eaten, or that his stomach was growling horribly; he let Axel hold him tight and let the previous guilt of having been so used drift away. Whatever problem he had created with Lydia, he had successfully gotten away from it all, with Axel as a guide.

They slept.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, Roxas told Axel more about what Lydia had put him through, showed him scars, and explained about some of the better times.

"I'll have to meet your cousin sometime, huh?" Axel laughed after Roxas told him about one time when Sora and he had, when they were younger, switched all the dishes in the cabinets at Roxas's house with their neighbor's. The Masaki's weren't too happy with it, but their son, Riku, who had been a partner in this act, found it hilarious, along with Roxas's dad and Uncle Cid. Sora was a true trouble-maker, but never did anything that would hurt anyone.

Roxas only smiled. Sora was all the way out in Midgar, on the other side of the world, it seemed. And Riku and his parents had also moved away. They wouldn't be meeting up anytime soon.

He only talked to Axel, and only around Axel. As welcome as Val and Reno made him feel, there was still that _fear_ that they would just yell at him to shut up if he said anything. At least, with Axel, he _knew_ that he could trust Axel.

Well, at least, he _thought_ he could trust him.

The next Monday, the Monday before the Music Festival, Roxas had gone to the practice rooms after school- he had gotten a note from Axel to meet him there at three o'clock. Well, he was a little early, so what harm could it do to walk in? He opened the door to the music wing, and then the door to practice room one, gasped, and walked back out.

Axel was in there. With _Demyx_. And, if that wasn't already bad enough, the other blonde was leaning over Axel's shoulder, breathing down his _neck_, and Axel didn't look uncomfortable at all! Roxas had half a mind to go in and tear Demyx off of his boyfriend; but, instead, just shrunk down the opposite wall and bit his lip.

No, no, no, no, _no!_ Axel wouldn't cheat on him, not... after Thursday night... he had _trusted_ that... that asshole! How _could _he??

Roxas stood up and left, knowing very well he had no where to go if not to Axel's house. He saw Reno parked out front, reading what looked like a college textbook; Roxas sighed, not really _wanting_ to leave Axel, but knowing that there was no better way to get under Axel's skin than to flat-out ignore him.

"Hey, Angel," Reno greeted him when he opened the door to the front seat and sat down. Roxas smiled at him and got out a notebook.

_How were your classes today?_ he wrote.

"Boring, as usual," Reno said, smiling back. "And you?"

_Fine. My Theory teacher bitched me out cuz I hadn't picked out a good song for the Festival tomorrow,_ Roxas wrote back, then showed the note to Reno.

Reno laughed. "Right, like she has any place to tell you what to play, huh?"

Roxas threw his hands up, like saying "Exactly!" and they both laughed a little harder.

"Hey, Angel," Reno said, when they had calmed down, "Where's Axel?"

Roxas frowned. He didn't want to talk about that backstabbing jerk, and so didn't write anything, and changed his focus to the rocks outside his window.

He heard Reno sigh. "You know, you really hurt him when you ignore him. Like, he goes all silent like you are, and he doesn't eat and shit like that. I'd like to think that you're good for him, but throwing him on a roller coaster of emotions is never good for anyone."

Roxas still didn't write anything.

Axel came out at three-ten, huffing and panting like he had run around for awhile (or, as Roxas thought, had a pretty heavy make-out session with someone)_,_ and ran to the car; Roxas locked eyes with his, and Axel hung his head.

_Well, good,_ Roxas thought, _at least he's feeling guilty._

Axel got in the back seat, and Reno took off. Roxas could tell that Axel was thinking of a way to start up some kind of conversation, but smiled smugly when the redhead realized that he was not getting Roxas to even pass notes with him.

When they got to the house, Roxas jumped out of the car and went out back to help Val with her garden, as he had taken to doing after school. Before he turned around the side of the house, he heard Reno yell, "What the fuck did you do this time??"

Roxas shook his head. He had been so stupid as to think he could trust him.

Roxas slept on the couch that night- and not with Axel anywhere near him. He left the house early and walked to school. It was the day of the Festival, and he had to help the teacher set up the auditorium for the assembly, as he had promised he would. Soon, Demyx showed up, looking downcast, and Roxas ignored him, too.

Axel came in, angry, and grabbed his wrist and pulled him aside, into practice room one. "What the hell is your deal, leaving without telling anyone?" Axel seethed. Roxas kept a straight face, though deep down, he was suddenly scared. "Reno and my Mom were ready to call the fucking _police_, and you decided that you just wanted to get to school early??" Axel, not taking his eyes off of Roxas, called his mother and told her through gritted teeth that he found Roxas, and that a neighborhood watch was not necessary. When he hung up, his eyes still glowed, angry, but it wasn't as intense as before. Roxas was still wary, and didn't do anything for fear that Axel would hurt him.

Axel sighed, raked a hand through his hair, and put his arm above Roxas's head. He placed a light kiss to Roxas's forehead and whispered, "I was so scared I had lost you."

Roxas shook his head. "What, is Demyx not good enough for you?" he whispered back, then opened the door and left.

Axel called back, "Roxas! What are you talking about?!" But Axel did not follow him. No, Roxas watched from the corner of his eye as Axel turned around and went back to the auditorium, back to where Demyx was, still.

Roxas's eyes stung with tears, but the warning bell rang, and he went to first period without Axel. He noticed the strange looks from his classmates when he walked in alone, but he really didn't care. He took his seat, and when Axel came in a minute late, with Demyx trailing behind slightly, Roxas didn't spare him a second glance.

For once, he was not going to ignore Axel because he thought the redhead wouldn't want him. No, this time, it was out of spite- if the redhead wanted the other blonde, he could _have_ him.

They got to Music Theory, and Axel had already been there (his in-school vocal lessons had been second period). Roxas noticed that there was a bit of writing on the SMART Board, and when Demyx came in, he voiced the same thought that Roxas had upon reading it.

"Whose song is for who?"

Roxas shook his head. He knew it was Axel's handwriting- he had seen it enough to be able to recognize it.

_My song is for you. XOX_

He and Demyx left for the auditorium, and Demyx immediately went over to Axel and asked if he knew about the note left on the board. Axel only kept moving the microphones around and didn't answer. He looked... numb.

Roxas suddenly felt very guilty, but left Demyx to talk to Axel.

The Festival would start after the lunch periods were over. It was only two more hours until he found out who Axel's song was really for.

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own KH/KHII, nor do I own SMART Boards, which belong to SMART technologies.

A/N: Eh, that kinda sucked. I had _thought_ that I found the perfect song, going by the title (Breakdown by Daughtry)- then I listened to the lyrics and realized that it was a really stupid song to base _this_ chapter off of. So, I looked and looked and looked, and found _nothing_. So, I resorted to a song I know nothing about, a song I find impossible to analyze, and used it. And, it kinda worked... in a really weird way...

I wanted to make Reno and Roxas _do_ something in the car, but nothing seemed to work out right. But, maybe that's for the best, cuz I kinda like living... and I have a feeling that _someone_ would threaten me if I made Roxas do something like what I was kinda thinking of making him do... I'm going to shut up now and let my reviewers review.

OMG! I reached 102 reviews with last chapter! I LOVE YOU ALL!!


	13. Your Guardian Angel

Your Guardian Angel

_The Blonde didn't understand, then._

_How much he wanted him..._

_How much he cared for him..._

_How much he loved him..._

_He'll never let the Blonde fall- he'll always be strong for him._

_Cuz, he knows, deep down, that the Blonde loves him, too._

_He just wishes that the Blonde wouldn't walk away._

* * *

Axel got out of his seat during fifth period, when the PA called down all AP Theory students. They would be handing out programs and helping the other students tune their instruments and warm up their voices. He got the job of standing at the door and handing out programs to the people that want one; including the friends and family of those performing today.

When the students are done filing in, Axel sees his mother, Reno, and Zexion walk up to him. Zexion, of course, tackled him and kissed his cheek, wishing him luck. Reno and Val both smiled at him, and he gave all three of them a program and sent them in, but not before taking a hold on Zexion's hand and keeping him for a little while.

"Roxas hates me and I don't know why," Axel said.

Zexion sighed. "I actually thought you were going to pester me about my lack of a boyfriend next to me, but if this is what you want to talk about..."

"I told him to meet me in the practice rooms yesterday after school, and he never showed up, and then he started ignoring me," Axel continued, making a mental note to ask about Lexy-bear later.

"So you found him?"

"Yeah, he was out talking to Reno," Axel said. "Reno said he seemed really pissed at me, but neither of us know why."

"He might just be pulling your strings, huh?" Zexion suggested, taking a program and handing it to a couple coming in with a short, "enjoy," before getting back to Axel. "I mean, when you called Sunday night, you two were fine- better than fine, actually- and now, two days later? Shit does _not_ happen that quickly."

"It does with Roxas," Axel muttered. Their teacher started making her opening speech, which was his cue to close the doors and get in, and go sit with the other music students. He said a quick "bye" to Zexion, but was not left alone; his friend went with him and sat next to him, in-between Axel and Roxas. Demyx was backstage, probably freaking out because of nerves. But, Axel knew he would be fine- they had practiced after school the day before, and Demyx had performed perfectly. Demyx had asked his opinion on the piece, and had played it for Axel; Axel had been analyzing the written music when the blonde had decided to hang over him. He tolerated it for awhile, but then threw Demyx off, reminding the teen that he _had_ a boyfriend.

Well, as of late, Axel wasn't too sure.

Demyx took the stage and everyone started clapping. Axel watched as his fingers flew over the fretboard, expertly playing a light, upbeat song on the sitar. He looked over at Zexion, taking the smile that he had on his face to be a good sign- but, what if Zexion _was_ still with Lexaeus? What was he smiling at?

Axel watched as Roxas just scowled at the sitar playing, not liking the look on the blonde one bit. It didn't match Roxas's persona, and he found himself not enjoying the piece as much as he had thought he would.

When Demyx ended, with a nice tonic chord, the auditorium erupted in applause, and he bowed and left the stage. Roxas got up, obviously going to tune and warm up; Axel almost grabbed his hand as he passed, but the General Music class took the stage and started a round of sorts on student guitars.

Zexion was gripping the armrest when Demyx came back and sat in the seat on the other side of Axel. Zexion whispered to Axel, before he got into deep conversation with Demyx, "Those first-years are hurting my poor musician's ears!"

Axel laughed, and Demyx, having overheard, laughed softly, too. Axel shook his head and whispered to Demyx, "It was really good, Dem."

"I messed up-"

"I don't want to know, because if I didn't hear it, then no one else did," Axel cut him off. Demyx smiled at him, and Zexion tapped his shoulder.

"I think I got it," Zexion said, and led him to the back of the room, where they took a seat in the last row. "You must have flirted with Demyx," Zexion said plainly.

Axel scoffed. "I never! He's just a friend, Zex, and Roxas knows that."

"Does he?" Zexion asked. Axel went to answer, but Zexion continued, "Or are you assuming that he knows?"

Axel closed his mouth. Zexion was fucking _amazing_ in his ability to tell what everyone around him is thinking. In fact, Axel _had_ assumed that Roxas knew that he only saw Demyx as a good friend. He clapped when the round was over, and the class left the stage, and then the teacher took stage to introduce Roxas.

Axel took Zexion back up to their seats, and they listened. "Now, I've known Roxas Strife since he was in eighth grade, and he's so talented, I didn't even know that he _could_ play the oboe before he told me he would be playing it for the Festival," she said, and the people auditorium laughed, unsure if it was a joke or the teacher was being serious. She smiled at the reaction- it had obviously been a joke. "So, here is our second AP student of the day, Roxas. Enjoy." She left the stage and the students clapped, throughly bored.

Axel sat back and watched Roxas take the stage. He set his music on the stand, brought the reed to his lips, and started moving his fingers, slowly. The entire room was silent, listening to his soft playing- or, it started softly, at least. He held a note at the end of the first movement, then startled everyone in the room with a loud, accented note, and his fingers started flying. It was horribly beautiful, this second movement- even Zexion shook his head.

Roxas held a high trill, and Axel felt his heart race. _No wonder Ms. Meredith didn't introduce the piece, _he thought, _Roxas must have composed it. _

It instilled fear, the way the melody progressed in the second movement; but, then it started calming down, slowing from vivace to allegro, then down to andante, and then the third movement began, and Roxas even changed his posture a little bit, Axel noticed. The progression was smoother, legato- Roxas soft-tongued every note, but slurred most of them together.

Roxas ended the piece by slowing down and almost fading away, playing softer and softer until he brought the reed away from his mouth and collected his music. He left the stage without acknowledging the audience, and they clapped late.

Axel wiped at his face, glad that he hadn't cried, then watched as the first-year Theory students took the stage to perform. He shook his head, turned to Zexion and whispered that he needed to go warm up. Zexion nodded, and Demyx patted his arm as he passed.

He walked through the stage-side hallway, to the music room. When he got there, he saw Roxas still putting the borrowed oboe away- he must have gotten it from the school.

"It was nice, Rox," Axel said, as he played middle C for himself, and started vocalizing down the scales. Roxas didn't say anything to him, and when he finished, took the instrument across the hall and just outright _ignored_ him. Axel took a guitar from the stands and made sure it was tuned, all while humming his piece. When the guitar was in tune, he ran through the beginning chords.

He shook his head. Not that song. He was going to change his piece right now.

He started playing a different progression, and smiled. _Yes, _he thought, _Roxas will understand after this._

Axel sighed, hoping that he didn't mess up. He needed Roxas to believe him this time. He got up when he heard the other students end their piece, and he exhaled hard. He stood stage-side, and listened while Meredith introduced their last performer and his piece- well, his previous piece.

He took the stage while the students welcomed him. He set his chair down in front of the microphone, and took a seat, then spoke to the school. "Hey, I know that she said I'd be singing some classical piece that _I_ don't even remember the name of," he said, getting a laugh, "but, uh, see I have a bit of a message to get out to someone here today." He played a few notes on his guitar, thoroughly enveloped in stage fright.

"So, instead, this is _Your Guardian Angel_. And, uh, you know who you are; this is for you, okay?" Axel sighed, and started the chords of the song he had played over and over in his head since he had first heard it.

And, he began to sing.

"_When I see your smile  
Tears roll down my face __I can't replace"_

Axel looked out into the audience, and saw his teacher glaring at him. He knew she would be angry, be he really didn't care.

"_And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one"_He saw his Mom, smiling at him from the back. She knew that he was going to do this- she's a mother, she always knew what was going through her sons' heads. Especially Axel's.

"_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven"_

He saw Reno, next to her, and fumbled his chords a little. He could feel his voice start to crack; maybe he should have spent a little longer warming up.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."

_Well, _he thought, _I hope it's okay..._ tears started forming at the edge of his eyes. He was pouring his heart into the song...

"_Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us"_

He saw Zexion, smiling at him. Zexion... he knew that Zexion understood what was going on.

"_Days grow longer and __nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one"_

He even saw Naminè, the little prick-ette, probably boasting to her friends how Axel' was most likely singing to her, out of everyone there.

"I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever"

And, he saw Roxas. Beautiful, sweet Roxas, staring at him with tears in his eyes. Axel knew he had finally gotten through to the blonde, but he couldn't stop- he had to get the whole song out.

"_I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

_Cuz you're my, _

_You're my, my, _

_my true love"_

Axel had to slow down, and look away from Roxas, because he was starting to choke on his words.

"_My whole... heart"_

Axel choked.

"_Please... don't throw that away"_

Axel felt a tear fall down his face, and he was tempted to wipe it away, but he had a song to play. He sighed, and went on, knowing that Roxas understood.

"_Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay"_

Axel sang as loud as he was physically able, without distorting the sound through the microphone or covering up his guitar.

"_Oh... stay- whoa  
Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill"_

He had to swallow, because he sniffed after "thrill" and he had to get his bearings back.

"_And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray"_

He pushed himself, through the rest of the song; and it didn't sound forced, as he thought it would, just his voice was shaking.

"_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven..."_

Roxas ran out; left his seat and just _ran_ out of the auditorium. He ended with his own chord progression, making sure it sounded finished, before jumping off the stage and following Roxas out the door. He dumped his guitar in Demyx's lap and ran out, listening to the applause he received echo through the empty hallways of the school. He went out the front doors, surprised that no one tried to stop him.

Though, he stopped himself halfway down the sidewalk, locking eyes with an older man that looked strangely like Roxas- wind-blown blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin.

"What are you doing, running out of school?" the man asked, his voice hard and cold.

Axel almost turned around and said that it had been a dare, but instead threw the name out. "I left because my friend, Roxas, left."

There it was, that spark of interest. "Roxas?" the man said. "As in, Roxas Strife?"

"Yeah," Axel said, and stepped forward. "Did you see him?"

"No, but I'll help you look." Big Blonde stuck out his hand, "I'm Cloud, Roxas's father."

Axel smirked- he had thought as much. "I'm Axel, Roxas's boyfriend." They shook; at least Cloud didn't seem to be shocked at the revelation of his son having a boyfriend.

"AXEL FEUER!!" He heard his mother scream for him, and he grabbed Cloud and ran with him.

But, Reno and Zexion caught up with them, stopped Cloud and Axel, and questioned them. Cloud continued walking towards his motorcycle, while Axel explained to Reno that Roxas had run out, and he was _going_ to find him.

"You are _going _to go back in that school building and leave it to the grown-ups, understand??" Reno said, pushing him back.

Axel shook his head. "You don't get it, Reno; he _needs_ me!"

"Hey, Axel, catch," Cloud said, throwing a helmet at the redhead, which he easily caught. "Get on, now."

Axel smirked and climbed on back of the bike, mentioning the total awesome-ness of it to Cloud, who thanked him and then asked for likely places Roxas would have run to. Axel supplied, "The bank on the creek, my house, and his house."

Cloud nodded, and Axel only had time to yell for Reno to meet them at Roxas's place before Cloud sped off.

His mother was going to be furious with him later, Axel thought, but really couldn't find it in him to care. Roxas could be _anywhere_; and if he was at his house, he could be hurt already.

* * *

Cloud didn't need to be told that the most likely place was his house, and they pulled into the driveway; Axel jumped off the bike and threw his helmet on the ground while Cloud steadied it and picked the tossed helmet.

Axel tried the front door, but it was locked. He went to go around the side of the house, but Cloud strode up next to him and kicked the door in. Axel dashed forward, but Cloud put his arm out in front of him.

"Be careful," Cloud said quietly, then let Axel go.

"Roxas!" Axel called, looking through each room. To Hell with the closed door policy, he looked everywhere- three bedrooms and a bathroom on this floor (and a closet).

He went out to the main room, where Cloud was standing, staring at a point on the floor. He stood beside Cloud and looked with him; Lydia was sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and her eyes open but... not really _looking_ at anything.

Neither Clyde nor Roxas were in the room. Axel crept closer to her, curious to know what was going on. When he got close enough, though, Lydia reached out and grabbed his neck- and, damn, did she have a strong grip! Before he had trouble breathing, though, Cloud pulled him out of her hands, and she tried to follow Axel's retreating form, but when she looked at Cloud, she stopped.

Axel touched his neck gently, knowing now why Roxas was so scared of her. When he pulled his hand back, there were tiny beads of blood on his fingers where her nails had pierced his neck.

"What a pleasant surprise... _Cloud,_" she said. Her eyes darkened, "I thought you weren't coming back."

"That was the original plan, wasn't it," Cloud said calmly. "Where's Roxas?"

Axel listened, eager to find his blonde (his _angel_).

But, she just laughed. "Roxas? That little fucking _shit?_ Why the fuck should _I_ care??"

Cloud shook his head. "Axel," he said, and Axel looked over at him. "Go downstairs and look for him." Axel nodded, and backed up to the last door he had yet to open- the one with a light switch next to it and a deadbolt on the door. He went down the stairs slowly- Roxas wasn't kidding when he said so many months ago that the stairwell was dark, even with the light on- and jumped the last few when he saw the floor.

"Who's there?" a voice called out, near a corner of the room.

Axel looked, and saw his angel, huddled in that corner with another, older teen- Clyde, he guessed. He went over, without answering the question, and knelt in front of Roxas. Roxas was crying, Axel could only guess; he was shaking and there were quiet sobs. Axel tried to touch Roxas, but the blonde just screamed at him.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!"

Axel drew his hand back, seeing Roxas's eyes peaking through his hands.

"Roxas... please, it's only me..."

Roxas sniffled. "No... no, no, no... I'll get hurt again..."

"This is the most I've heard him talk in years," Clyde said next to him. Axel glared at him, and tried reaching out to Roxas again, to touch his hand; but, Roxas flinched away and started muttering his fears.

"Roxas, listen, please?" Axel said softly.

"Don't touch me..." Roxas pleaded softly

"I won't if you don't want it," Axel said. He saw Roxas look up a little more, and he sat back. "I'm not going to hurt you, you _know_ that."

"No..." Roxas seemed to get his senses back. "You... and Demyx," he spat the name like it were bitter on his tongue. He coughed. "I thought you liked Demyx...?"

Axel almost laughed, but instead, smiled and shook his head. "Roxas, what in this world do you think would make me look at _anyone_ the way I look at you?"

Roxas had no answer.

"I... I love you and I care for you and it _kills me_ to see you like this," Axel reached out, but didn't touch Roxas. He let Roxas come to _him_, and he smiled wider when Roxas's small fingers took his own, and those blue, blue eyes looked up at him in full recognition.

"But, yesterday, with Demyx... he was hanging over you," Roxas said, with a slight frown.

"Yeah, he was; and I pushed him off after he started going too far," Axel said, pulling Roxas closer to him. "I can only tolerate so much Demyx in one day," he said nuzzling his nose against Roxas's.

Roxas's frown disappeared and was replaced with a soft smile.

Axel felt tears fall down his face. _Talk about a true song_, he thought, while singing softly to Roxas and rocking them back and forth while the blonde sat in his lap. _"I will never let you fall... I'll stand with you forever... I'll be there for you through it all... Even if savin' you sends me to Heaven,_" he sang, and looked at Clyde.

The stepbrother was smiling, and nodded to him. He got up, and helped Axel to his feet. Axel knew, though, that if he had come down here and Clyde was terrorizing Roxas, he wouldn't be so friendly with the other teen.

When they got upstairs, Clyde held open the door for them, and he saw Cloud and Lydia yelling at each other. And, he knew what had to happen. He went out to the living room, and saw his family there, sitting on the couch. His mother stood up and went to hug him, and also fussed over Roxas a little.

"Mom, could you take Roxas home? I'll be by later with Cloud," Axel said. Val nodded, and ordered Reno to take Roxas out to the car, with Zexion. Zexion clapped him on the shoulder as he passed, giving him a "good luck" kind of look. Val left soon after.

Axel looked at Clyde, sat down, and watched how Cloud and Lydia played their fight out.

* * *

Disclaimer: Spork says "NO!" That's a no to KH _and_ to "Your Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

A/N: I had to sing the song, putting myself in Axel's place, to get the phrases right. Oh, looky, first chapter that had the song lyrics written out in them! I love this song- it was the inspiration for the entire story, so it's _very fucking important!!_ I don't like how it fades out in the recording, but, what can you do, right?

This makes me sad... I've only got two more chapters to write- and that includes the epilogue! So, technically, that's only one chapter. I kinda don't want to stop... just, like, be the Energizer Bunny and just keep going and going and going... But, all good things must come to an eventual end, huh? So, I'll see you all for the next two chapters, and then I'll probably never hear from most of you again... Well, maybe for AkuRoku Day, but that's it.

(tear)


	14. A New Day Has Come

A New Day Has Come

_It was so foreign to him._

_Being so strong now..._

_Being so happy now..._

_Being so loved now..._

_Where it was dark, a new Sun has invaded and showered him with light._

_Let the rain fall- his Sun will just find a new way to keep him warm_

* * *

Roxas didn't know when he had fallen asleep, nor did he remember when Axel had left him alone. He knew when he woke up, Axel _wasn't_ in the room with him, and it scared him. He recognized that he was in Axel's room, in Axel's bed, under Axel's comforter; but, no Axel.

Well, not right away.

The door opened, and a very exhausted redhead turned the light on in the room, and stopped when they locked eyes. Roxas turned his lips up and watched as tears crept out of Axel's eyes; he felt so bad, knowing that the tears were shed for _him_.

"Axel?" he could only ask, then regretted doing so. His throat scratched against itself, and his voice was so raspy; he coughed.

But, Axel was by his side in an instant, holding his back and shushing him. "You shouldn't talk, Roxas," Axel said. "Clyde said that you had... screamed... really hard, before I got there."

Roxas swallowed, inhaled deeply, and looked away. He whispered, against Axel's demands to still his voice, "What did Clyde tell you?"

"That was all," Axel frowned. "He didn't tell me why."

Roxas kept his tears in. He would be strong for Axel; he didn't need to know... did he?

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

Axel's arm slipped around his waist, and he was pulled to Axel's side. Roxas whispered, "Not really. Not right now..."

"Okay," Axel said, then kissed the top of his head. Roxas linked his fingers with Axel's free hand, and Axel rubbed small circles over his skin. Roxas leaned his head on Axel's shoulder, completely relaxed.

"Lydia and Cloud settled everything," Axel murmured. "He kicked her out, and said that if he ever saw her again, he'd call her on all the shit that she did. I think he's being easy on her, but it's not my place, huh?"

Roxas had, honestly, stopped listening after Axel said his father's name. _Dad..._ It had been so long... where was he? Downstairs, maybe?

He threw Axel back, jumping off the bed and running out of the room. He heard Axel calling for him, and turned around each corner of the stairwell, bursting into the living room.

Val and Reno were sitting in the recliners, Zexion was on one couch. And, on the far end of the other couch, was _him_. They all had been talking before he came in, but stopped speaking when they all saw Roxas. He just stared at his father for a moment. Cloud stood up, and took a few steps towards him.

Axel came to stand at his side, but Roxas could not find it in him to care. He swallowed, feeling tears well up, and whispered, "Daddy?"

Cloud nodded, and Roxas did not hesitate in running to his father, the familiar blanket of safety falling over his shoulders along with his father's arms. He closed his eyes and let his father hold him for the first time in three and a half years.

"I'm here now, Roku," Cloud said. "I'm so sorry..."

"I hate you," Roxas whispered. He pulled out of Cloud's arms, looked up into the eyes of his father, and spat it again. "_I hate you._ _I fucking HATE you!!_" He yelled, and felt Cloud pull him in again, and sat them on the couch; he just started hitting him, yelling it over and over again, even though his voice was so hoarse and it hurt so much.

He'd been through intense pain the past few years; who was Roxas to say he couldn't take a little more?

"Roxas, no... you don't," Cloud said after he had calmed down a bit.

He sniffed. He knew he was scaring Val, at least; if not Val, then Axel. "I hate you," he whispered again, shaking in Cloud'' arms and putting his head down. Cloud had grabbed both his wrists with one hand, and it was starting to become uncomfortable.

"You don't, or you wouldn't have greeted me like you did," Cloud tried to reason with him.

"_You_ left me with her..."

"I did," Cloud said, tilting his chin up, so Roxas had little choice but to look into his father's eyes. He sighed, "But, I didn't want to separate you from the only mother you ever knew."

Roxas scoffed. "She was never a mother to me."

"Yes, Roxas. There were times, I remember, when you and her got along just fine. I thought that if I left, you could have those times back; have a good parent while I sort my own shit out," Cloud said.

"You were a good parent, Daddy," Roxas whispered.

Cloud smiled at him. "Thank-you, Roku, but... I shouldn't have left. Not without you. Though," he looked over at Axel, "I think that if I had taken you with me, you wouldn't have met him, huh?"

Roxas shook his head. "I guess not..." he whispered.

But Cloud frowned again. "I honestly would have rather had you end up with a nice girl," he said. Roxas shook his head, _no way_ was Cloud going to tell him he didn't approve of Axel! "But," he continued, putting a finger to Roxas's lips to cease the protest that was ready to leak, "with what she put you through, I guess that you needed someone to protect you, rather than someone who would lean on you. And, if Axel protected you as best he could, then I have no problem with it."

Roxas smiled and hugged his father. "Thank-you, Daddy."

Axel came and sat by them, and Roxas looked over at his boyfriend, knowing that there was a wide smile on his face. He had his _father_ back. Although he really wanted to just stay with him, Roxas slipped out of Cloud's arms and slid over to Axel's lap. Val and Reno both stood up and said something about making dinner, and Zexion left to sit in front of the computer.

He rested his head on Axel's shoulder and felt the redhead's chest hum with the song.

It was later on that night, after dinner was done and the mis-matched family was sitting and watching a movie.

"_You are the only mother I have ever known. Was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all?"_

Lydia hated him, and he would never find out why, unless Cloud knew and decided, one day, to tell him. But these past few years, he would have to put them to his back, and let the sun rise again.

If Axel could be happy that he was safe, shouldn't Roxas, too, be happy that his safety was secured?

* * *

"Dad, I don't think he'll like it."

"Roku, this is _Axel_ we're talking about; you could get him bullshit, literally, smile for him, and he'll like it. Just _pick_ something," Cloud said, exasperated.

Roxas, too, was tired of gift shopping for his boyfriend. They had been in every store the mall had, looking for something appropriate as a Christmas gift for Axel. They had skipped lunch, even, to keep looking, but still could not find anything suitable.

He wanted to get something nice for Axel, but nothing that the redhead would just place on a shelf or his dresser. Roxas knew that Axel wasn't materialistic, and probably _would_ be happy just seeing Roxas smile (minus the bullshit).

Roxas and Cloud left the store, after deeming everything it had completely useless, and sat on a bench outside of a music store (which, knowing that Axel's second love was music, Roxas already combed through to find something, coming up empty-handed). Roxas sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, seeing a skylight showing the stars starting to peak out through the bright lights of the town.

He stood up, and told Cloud he would be right back. Cloud groaned and waved him off, and Roxas went back into the music store.

But, instead of going through the CDs or the band posters, Roxas looked at books of sheet music, and found the particular one he was looking for. He smiled at the prospect of having a very happy boyfriend, and paid for the item at he desk, along with a note-covered pencil.

* * *

Roxas had a very nice sleep Christmas Eve, having finished writing the song long before his eyes protested an abnormal sleeping pattern. The warm body curled against his back helped a lot, too, and Roxas prided himself on being able to finish Axel's Christmas present before the redhead surprised him with spending the night at the Strife's nearly-vacant house.

Cloud had gone back to Traverse Town, where he had indeed been staying, to get the rest of his things. He said he would be back for Christmas Day, and had left the day after the shopping trip.

Two days without his father, after having him for two weeks previous, was hard on Roxas, and he was glad that Axel decided to visit so spontaneously.

When the clock read eight o'clock, the alarm went off, and Roxas chuckled at Axel's string of curses directed at the piece of plastic.

"Dammit, fucking alarm, shut the hell up, piece of fucking shit!" Axel started slapping around at where the noise was coming from, but couldn't seem to find it. "Bitch-ass alarm, Roxas, where is it?" he whined, and Roxas reached over and clicked it off.

However amusing it was when Axel woke up to the alarm, he was _seriously_ a push-over when Axel whined for him to turn the alarm off.

Roxas stretched and yawned, throwing his arms down over Axel's bare chest when he had finished. "I don't wanna get up..." he said.

Axel laughed. "But, come _on_! It's Christmas, and my family's gonna be over soon. I'd rather _not_ show off a bed-head as my boyfriend, so you," he kissed Roxas's nose, "need to go shower."

"But my hair always looks like that anyways..."

"Shower, please?" Axel said, picking Roxas up by his sides and moving him so Roxas was sitting on top of Axel's waist. "Or, do you want some _company_?" Axel suggested, running his hands down Roxas's inner thighs.

Roxas shuddered, swallowed, and shook his head. "No thanks!" he squeaked out, and almost fell off of Axel while leaving.

After he was clean, he found Axel in the kitchen, looking around the open shelves. He seemed very puzzled.

"What?" Roxas asked.

Axel looked at him, smiled softly, and beckoned him to his side. Roxas went over and let Axel hold him; he knew now what it was about.

"I still don't even want to believe that she did this to you," he murmured.

Roxas looked at the shelves. They had, originally, been cabinets, but because of Lydia's madness and refusal to let Roxas eat _her_ food, Cloud had to take every door off to get the locks off, too; some of the latches were still there, even. But, though Roxas and Cloud got used to it pretty quickly, Axel still got chills whenever he saw the effects of her reign.

"It's okay," Roxas said, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "She's not coming back."

"I hope not," Axel said, nuzzling his hair. He led them to the living room, where they turned on the stereo that Lydia had left, and listened to the music.

When the front door opened, and Val and Reno came in, Zexion and Lexaeus trailing behind, the silence between them broke and they all greeted each other with hugs and the like. Roxas stayed quiet around Lexaeus, as he didn't really know the man; but, when he heard another car pull into the driveway, followed by a motorcycle he could easily recognize by ear, he ran out of the house and went to stand on the porch.

It was the same woman that had taken care of him at the hospital. Aeris? Yeah, that sounded about right. She was helping Cloud move, it seemed. He smiled when Cloud kissed her cheek as they walked up, each carrying a box.

She wasn't anything like Lydia; he already knew that much.

"Hey, Roku," Cloud said as they passed, ruffling his hair. He put the box down in near the entranceway, inside, and kicked off his shoes while Aeris also took off hers. Roxas stopped Cloud as he was going to the living room. He waved Aeris along, and looked back at Roxas. "What's up?"

Roxas shook his head, and hugged his father. "I just missed you, Daddy," he whispered, and felt Cloud hug him back.

"I know... and it's going to take a few more trips, but soon, we'll be a family again, okay?" Cloud whispered back. "And, I think you've met Aeris once before, but it was through her that Valerie was able to contact me. We're just friends, but I think it might get to be more, if you're okay with it."

"I approve," Roxas said, pulling away and smiling.

They went to sit in the living room and exchang gifts.

"So, what's this?" Axel asked as he looked at Roxas's wrapped gift for him.

"You have to open it!" Roxas said back.

Axel smiled and shook his head, ripping the paper off and revealing a book of blank staff paper. He looked questioning at Roxas, and the blonde just smiled and motioned for him to open it.

When he did, the first page already had a song written down. Roxas watched as Axel looked over the lyrics and music that he had written for him, and smiled when he saw a tear slide down Axel's cheek. He was pulled in by his boyfriend, who kissed his temple and whispered, "I love it, Rox."

"I was hoping so," Roxas whispered back.

"It totally tops the present I got for you," Axel said, pulling out a chain out of his pocket. "I didn't even get to wrap it, I got it last night before I came here."

Roxas looked at the chain, and noticed that there was a tag on it, and took it to read.

_Property of Axel. Invaders will be severely burned._

Roxas laughed, then saw that Axel had one for himself, and demanded to read that one. Axel's read: _Property of Roxas. Thieves will be bitch-slapped._

He shook his head, smiling still, and let his Dad see the tag he got from Axel. Cloud laughed and shared it with Aeris.

All in all, Roxas thought that this Christmas was the best he's ever had.

* * *

_Ten, Nine, Eight..._

"Ah..."

_Seven, Six..._

"A-Axel!"

_Five, Four, Three..._

"Almost there, just... _oh, fuck..._"

_Two..._

"Axel!!"

_One..._

"_Roxas...!"_

Midnight. Axel collapsed on top of Roxas, mumbling weakly about how good that was while Roxas threaded his fingers through his lover's hair.

Happy New Year, indeed.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't think the spork wants me to own anything...

A/N: There. Very short, but done, mostly. Cloud's so stupid... I hate this ending so bad... but, I can't throw it together any other way... I think, that's why there's going to be an epilogue. Might help me tie everything up better...


	15. An Epilogue of Sorts

An Epilogue... Of Sorts

The doorbell rang. Axel groaned when Roxas tried to push him off, muttering something about needing to get the door.

"Axel, please?"

"But we're just getting to the best part of the movie!"

"Axel, don't give me that," Roxas said, turning his head away when Axel tried to kiss him. "You weren't even watching the movie- you said it yourself it was just for background noise so we wouldn't wake Dad up."

"I _know_ that," Axel said, licking Roxas's neck. "But, it's a Saturday morning, and people who are up this early to see other people fit the profile of 'stalker' and the only one allowed to stalk you is me. So, I'm keeping you right here."

Unfortunately for Axel, Roxas really didn't care about whether or not the person ringing the doorbell was a stalker; if he kept it up, Cloud would be awake and then Roxas would have to start cleaning the house and Axel would leave. He slipped out from underneath Axel, hearing the redhead groan again as he left the room and went to answer the door.

"Clyde?" Roxas saw his- well, since Cloud signed the divorce papers, he and Clyde weren't stepbrothers anymore.

"Hi, Roxas," Clyde said, nodding. "I just came to say that I'm leaving... for good, probably."

"What? Where?" Roxas said. He could hear his bed creaking; Axel would be here in a few seconds.

"I'm... look, I know I did some pretty bad shit to you, including the thing last September. But, I don't really, y'know, _remember_ most of any of it, which makes me think I might have a few screws loose up here," Clyde tapped his temple, "and I'm going out to Destiny Islands to check in."

Roxas understood. Destiny Islands had a good mental health facility, and Clyde had mentioned going there in his last few letters.

"Okay," Roxas said. Axel stood behind him, his hands circling Roxas's waist while he put his chin down on Roxas's head. "But, you know, even if you're perfectly fine, you're still my brother, okay?" Roxas said, leaning back into Axel's chest.

Clyde nodded. "Say hi to Cloud for me," he said, then turned and left.

Axel watched him go, the leftover dusting of snow from the previous night kicking up and covering the older teen's boots. He reached around Roxas and closed the door, then pulled the blonde back to the bedroom to finish their movie.

* * *

Spring Break found Axel and Roxas sitting on the bank, watching the wind brush through the budding trees. Axel sighed, then remembered something he had been meaning to ask Roxas.

"Hey, Rox, what's a 'chimo'?"

Roxas looked over at him and laughed. Axel felt completely stupid, but he really didn't know.

"It's short," Roxas said, catching his breath, "for 'child molester.'"

Axel's view of their physics teacher changed dramatically from then on out.

* * *

Cloud and Roxas were having dinner one night in May, when Cloud suddenly said that he was sorry. But, when Roxas asked what he was sorry about, Cloud would not answer, just repeating his apology, and going back to his macaroni.

Roxas let it go, but Cloud kept doing it. Randomly, whenever they were alone for some reason or another, Cloud would just hang his head and say "sorry" for something that Roxas wasn't sure of. He had already forgiven his Dad for leaving him with Lydia, and he couldn't think of anything else that Cloud did that would need an apology.

It was when Roxas finished his last test of the year, a three-hour exam, that Cloud explained it. Roxas got on the motorcycle and Cloud got on behind him, letting his son drive, and when they got home, Roxas was bombarded by a huge chorus of "Happy Birthday!" as he opened the door. He looked back at Cloud and smiled.

He had almost forgotten it himself.

They had a cake, opened presents, talked, and then the guests started leaving. Roxas took a long while to say good-bye to Hayner, Pence, and Olette; he hadn't yet been able to talk to them, as his schedule was completely different from their's. But, soon it was down to Axel, Zexion, Lexaeus, and Aeris left. Aeris said a quick and final "happy birthday" to Roxas before kissing Cloud and leaving; Zexion and Lexaeus nodded to him and told Axel they'd be over again later that week for visiting.

"I'm sorry, son," Cloud said.

Roxas groaned. "For what?"

Cloud stared at him, hard. "I was only in the next town over; the least I could have done was send you a card for your birthday."

But Roxas shook his head. "It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, Dad. Lydia would have just thrown it out the minute it got here, anyway. And, if you had called, she would have hung up on you. There was no way that you could have gotten through to me, Dad; don't beat yourself up over it."

Cloud still muttered his apologies every now and then.

* * *

Roxas never did find out what had happened to him that day that Lydia had come for him at Axel's house. Aeris, though she was over at his house a lot, would never tell him what the results of all those tests were; neither would Val, and Axel said he didn't know them, only that it had been a fluke and most likely wouldn't happen again.

Axel still checked, though, when he knew that Roxas was asleep; he checked when he knew that Roxas was having a nightmare, to see if Roxas was still breathing. It might have been a fright-induced incident, but the possibility was still there, that it could happen.

* * *

"Hey, Zexy?"

"Don't call me that, Axel."

"Why are you still with him?"

"I'm not allowed to be in a serious relationship with someone else?"

"I don't remember you ever being in one before..."

"I've never had one."

"So why start with him?"

"Because I'm sick of you hooking me up with people you think I might click with only to have it end a week or so later."

"Oh..."

"And because I think I might be in love with him."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"That's cool."

"What about you?"

"I fell in love with Roxas before I knew him."

"That's so sweet, I'm gonna get cavities from it."

"Shut it."

* * *

Axel walked Roxas home on a Monday morning, after the blonde had spent the night at his house, and went in with his boyfriend to stay a little while. They greeted Cloud as he was going through the mail, but Cloud did not look up from a letter he had in his hand. Axel saw the man's eyes shine with horror as they scanned the words on the page.

"Cloud?"

"Daddy?"

Roxas's Dad looked up at them, at Roxas. He said nothing, but left the letter on the table. Cloud went past them and out the door, most likely to go to work. Axel reached for the letter, and read it silently while Roxas did the same next to him.

_Keep a good hold on that son of yours. He might just disappear from under your nose. _

Axel put his arm around Roxas's shoulder. He didn't need to be told who it was that sent the letter; he could tell from the way that Roxas started shaking at his side that Lydia was after him again.

But... why? What did she want? Didn't she hate him? Shouldn't she be _glad_ that Roxas is out of her life?

Couldn't she just leave them alone?

* * *

Disclaimer: The Almighty Spork Says "NO!!"

A/N: HA! All set up for a sequel. Yay! But, though I have the basics down for it, I'm still planning details out, and it _will not _be posted until my FFIX fic is complete. Sorry. Stick around for it, though, okay?


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